Shadows and Regrets
by Cassy27
Summary: Thor and the Avengers wake up with no memory of the last 24 hours. They have no idea what has happened, but it makes even less sense when Thor finds Loki beaten half to death in his room. No slash!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**Summary: Thor and the Avengers wake up with no memory of the last 24 hours. They have no idea what has happened, but it makes even less sense when Thor finds Loki beaten half to death.**

**No slash! This story takes place a few months after 'The Avengers'. Rated T just to be safe.  
**

**AN: I couldn't help it so I began to write this new story. The idea came from a story I read a long time ago in the Merlin-fandom. Please enjoy reading the first chapter and please let me know what your thoughts are so far. Any and all feedback is welcom.**

**Also, all credit of the picture used as 'cover' for this story goes to wantstobelieve on Tumblr!  
**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 1**

When Thor woke, he needed a moment to remember where he was exactly. Apparently, he was lying on the ground in the hall of Stark's mansion. His entire body was twisted in a weird position and Thor moved to sit up. He cursed the skies because really, he had never before experienced such a headache!

Finally he did manage to sit up and he narrowed his eyes while looking around him. The edges of his vision blurred and he needed a moment to steady himself. He opened the door closest to him and stumbled into the living room. Clint Barton lay on a couch, his legs crossed and his arms hanging over the edge.

"Clint," Thor growled, "Clint, wake up."

The man stirred to life. It took him a second to realize where he was and the confusion was clearly visibly in his eyes. Clint jumped up, but he instantly regretted the sudden movements and he allowed himself to fall back onto the couch. "Oh my," he complained, "I feel…_drunk_."

"Stark!" Thor shouted. He saw Clint cringe back at his loud, booming voice and even Thor had to admit that he had used a too loud voice. "Stark, what have you done to us?"

But it wasn't Tony who entered the living room, it was Bruce. He looked surprisingly pale and hung-over which was not good. If anyone should stay away from alcohol, it was the man who could turn into a giant green beast. Bruce's face was wet and Thor knew he had splashed cold water into it.

Thor made a mental note himself to do the same once he felt strong enough to actually cross the room. Okay – he had _never _been so drunk or hung-over before. And that was saying something because he had always felt Asgardian feasts were much better than Midgardian ones.

"You guys look as awful as I feel," Bruce commented dryly. He took his glasses from his inner pocket and placed them on his nose. "What did we do last night?"

"I-" Thor thought deeply, but his mind felt like a great blank page, "I do not know."

"You don't know?" Clint had dropped his head into his hands, but now he looked up at the two other men. "_I_ don't know!"

"Huh," Bruce exhaled, "that's weird. I can't remember anything from yesterday either."

Thor had enough of this. "Stark!"

"Please," Clint gnarled, "keep your voice down."

Above them sounded footsteps and Thor recognized them to be Tony's. As soon as that thought passed him, Thor couldn't help but think that he had lived in this mansion for too long. He had entered the awkward stage of knowing his roommates footsteps. A few seconds passed where everyone enjoyed the silence and then Tony dragged himself into the living room. He was wearing sunglasses and wrinkled clothes. It appeared he had slept in that outfit and Thor realized that he still wore his daily outfit as well.

"We must have gone to one hell of a party," Tony said, his voice barely audible but clearly amused, "I haven't been so hung-over in years! Too bad I don't remember anything. Tell me, did I do something embarrassing?"

"Something is wrong," Thor said, his headache almost forgotten. The others didn't have as much luck. Each of them visibly recoiled from Thor and his loud voice. "Neither of us remembers last night."

"No," Bruce corrected him, "neither of us remembers _yesterday_." Everyone turned to look at Banner. "Think about it," he continued, "do any of you recall getting up in the morning? Getting dressed or talking to someone? It's a big black whole in my memory."

"He's right," Clint sighed, dropping his head back into his hands, "I can't remember the last twenty-four hours."

"Jarvis?" Tony called for his computer.

"Yes, sir?"

"Show me the surveillance recordings from yesterday."

There was a short pause where nothing happened and Thor knew something was wrong. It had taken him weeks, even months to understand how Jarvis the Computer worked, but he had instantly known that it was the fastest computer on this earth. Silence from him – it? – never meant anything good.

"There are no recordings, sir."

"What do you mean?" Tony walked towards an empty screen that hung next to the door and began typing away on it. "There has to be something."

"There is nothing, sir," Jarvis replied in his usual calm and almost soothing voice.

Tony continued to type away. "Did someone erase it?"

"There is nothing, sir."

And that right there was the first time Thor had heard Jarvis say something so strange. It sounded as if the computer was confused which seemed to alert Tony. The millionaire spun around and allowed his gaze to fall on everyone in the room. "Jarvis is right; there are no recordings from the last twenty-four hours. It's as if yesterday didn't happen."

Behind him, Natasha appeared. She looked like she had been in the middle of a war. Her hair stood wild and her eyes were oddly small. She wasn't wearing any make-up, but that wasn't what concerned everyone. When Natasha lifted her right hand to rub in her eyes, everyone's eyes fell on the red stains covering her skin.

"Is that…blood?" Bruce asked.

Natasha raised both hands and stared at them. She became confused and a little panicked, but Natasha was still a spy and she quickly managed to get a grip on herself. "What happened?" She asked. "I can't remember how I got this."

Clint was at her side in a second, checking if she had any wounds.

"I'm not hurt, Clint," Natasha assured him, slapping away her friends hands, "this isn't my blood."

Tony asked the question that was on everyone's mind. "Then who's is it?"

Silence.

"All right, we need answers!" Tony said, clearly annoyed that none of them had a real grip on the situation. "Jarvis, call agent Coulson."

"Yes, sir."

~ o ~

The Avengers sat gathered around a table in SHIELD headquarters. At one side sat Thor, Bruce, Tony, Clint and Natasha. On the other sat Coulson, Fury and Steve. As soon as the Captain had heard of his friends' situation, he had returned to New York from a mission to aid them.

"So you're all saying," Fury began, sounding almost doubtful, "that you don't remember anything from the last day."

"That is exactly what we are saying," Bruce replied.

"Aye," agreed Thor.

"Also," Tony added before Fury could catapult more questions at them, "Jarvis has no recordings what so ever. Someone intentionally deleted them and was good enough to not leave a trail."

Coulson, as usual, sat composed at Fury's side. His hands were folded together and lay casually on the table surface. "If someone tampered with your memories and with Jarvis, then it must have been someone powerful," he said, "It's not easy to break into Jarvis' system."

Tony smiled broadly as if he had just received a high compliment.

"And you all woke at Stark's mansion?" Steve asked. As leader of the group, he felt responsible. Something had happened and he hadn't been there. A small trace of guilt could be seen in his soft blue eyes.

"Yes," Natasha said. She looked around the table and inhaled deeply. "I also woke up with blood on my hands."

"None of you are injured?" Fury asked.

"We're all fine," Clint answered, "a doctor already checked us out."

"All right," Fury said, standing up from his seat and looking down at his team of superheroes, "I want each and every one of you to report to the medical bay again. I want to run some tests and scans. Maybe we can find something interesting."

"We can't stay here," Tony objected, "we should be out there looking for whoever did this to us."

"I understand that," Fury's one eye fell heavily on Stark, "and as soon as the tests are done, you're free to find the one responsible. First, I want to make sure that you're all fine. I can't have you Scooby Gang running around New York if someone messed with your brains."

None could object to that.

~ o ~

When Thor arrived back at Stark's mansion late that night, he hadn't expected to feel so tired. There had been times where he had not slept for days, but it seemed that Fury's tests had simply exhausted him. He wasn't alone. The others had returned to the Mansion as well. They had vowed to get some sleep and begin their search for the culprit in the morning.

"Good night, Thor," Natasha said before disappearing into her bedroom.

When Thor opened the door to his room and switched on the lights, he hadn't expected to find…_this_. Thor had always been a disorderly person (thank the Gods that he had a personal servant on Asgard to keep his chambers clean!), but never had his room in Stark's mansion looked like a bomb had gone off. It was a mess. His night stand lay scattered on the ground and a chair had been broken into three large pieces.

Thor saw it then.

_Blood_.

With his breath stuck in his chest, he stepped further into the room. It was obvious that a fight had taken place and Thor tried to remember anything. It was pointless. He took a step to the left side of his bed where the blood trail apparently originated from. Thor felt all the blood withdraw from his face and limbs.

"Loki!"

Thor rushed to his brother's side, but he was afraid to touch him. Loki looked so small and fragile. Thor feared that if he touched him, Loki might just fall apart. Finally, Thor found enough courage and turned Loki onto his back. The God of Thunder felt like he might actually throw up.

Loki's right eye was swollen shut and his lips were cut. Dried blood made it difficult to see if he had any more wounds, but when Thor reached for his brother's hands, he found them cold and trembling. At least Loki was still breathing, but that brought little comfort to Thor at this moment. He placed a hand on his brother's chest and felt it rise and fall again.

If only barely.

Thor began to tremble himself. He lost control over his body and mind at that moment. He was simply too shocked to see his brother beaten half to death.

"Help!" He screamed, pulling Loki's broken form into his lap. "Someone please help!"

**AN: So what do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: I was completely overwhelmed by the response I got for the first chapter. Really, guys, thanks! I do hope the second chapter does not disappoint. Enjoy and (constructive) feedback is always appreciated! **

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 2**

Thor reached for Loki's face and gently pushed aside some of his ink-black hair. He was horrified to find that it was filthy with dried blood. Thor inhaled sharply. He knew he had to stay calm, but somehow he felt his heart trying to leap from his chest and his hands did not stop shaking.

"Loki?"

The younger brother slowly opened one eye since the other was too swollen. He wasn't able to focus on his surroundings at first and Thor felt his concern transform into fear. Never had he seen Loki like this before. Then, Loki's piercing green eye fell on his face and he instantly shrank away as he only now realized who was with him.

"It's okay," Thor whispered, unable to keep his voice strong. Loki still seemed to want to get away from him. He looked very confused. "It's okay, it's me."

"Thor?" Loki's voice was hollow and broken.

"Yes," Thor replied, pulling his little brother even closer to him. He wanted to protect him, he wanted to make it all better, but…he couldn't. "You're safe now."

Loki's one eye looked around, but then fluttered shut.

"Loki, you have to stay awake." Thor gently shook him, forcing him to open his eye again. Loki did so, but only a little. He seemed half gone from this world. "Who did this? Do you remember what happened?"

Again, Loki's gaze fell away from him. His bruised and cut hands reached for Thor's arm as he tried to sit up straight, but he failed horribly. He groaned in pain and began to cough violently. Small drops of blood landed on his lips and Thor was horrified to see his brother in such agony. He cursed whoever did this and he vowed that he would make the one responsible pay.

"Keep still, Loki," he said, "just tell me who did this."

"I…I don't know." Loki's voice came rasping from his throat. "I… Thor, I-" He began to cough again and his eye rolled back. For a few seconds, his entire body began to shake and Thor had no idea what he had to do. Those few seconds seemed to last for hours, but when they finally did end, Loki went completely limb in Thor's grasp.

"Loki?" Thor panicked. "Loki, wake up." This time, Loki did not respond. "Someone, help me!"

His door opened and Natasha stormed in, a gun and knife in her hands. She was prepared for a battle. Tony followed her close behind. They both stopped dead in their tracks when they found Loki motionless and beaten in Thor's arms. They seemed unsure what to think of the situation, but Thor knew they couldn't lose any more time.

"Don't just stand there!" He bellowed. "Call for help!"

Natasha stormed from the room and Thor knew she would return with help. Tony hurried forward and kneeled beside him. His brown eyes landed on Loki's pale, hurt face. He searched for a pulse, found one, but began to look deeply troubled. Then he turned to Thor.

"What happened?"

"I do not know," Thor said in a wobbly voice, "I found him like this." For a moment, he feared his brother had stopped breathing, but when he placed a hand on his chest, he felt it rise and fall. It was too slow, however, but Thor didn't know what he could do to help him.

"What the hell is going on here, Thor?" Tony asked.

Thor wished he could give him an answer, but he couldn't. Something had happened yesterday, something horrible. Loki had been beaten half to death and none could remember anything. If only Jarvis still had some recordings!

Before anyone could say anything, Natasha came back into the room. She had traded her gun and knife for a bowl of warm water and a towel. She handed it to Tony since Thor still had his arms tightly around his brother's broken figure. Carefully, Tony began to clean away some of the dried blood on Loki's torn face. It gave them a better idea of the damage that had been done and Thor felt nauseous when he saw the broken skin, bruises and cuts.

"I called Coulson," Natasha said softly, "he sent a medical team."

When Tony hit a too painful spot, Loki moaned and tried to pull his head away. At least it was a sign of life.

"I will find who did this, brother," Thor promised him, knowing that Loki could hear him, "I will find the one responsible and I will make him pay."

~ o ~

Tony entered the small room. It had a one-way-mirror that gave him a view into Loki's hospital room. The trickster lay in bed, his pale arms above the white sheets. Different tubes stuck out of his arms, but that wasn't what caught Tony's attention. The ligature wounds on Loki's wrists stood bright again his pale skin. It was the umpteenth sign that something dreadful had happened to him.

A continuous beeping monitored his heartbeat. At Loki's bedside sat – as expected - Thor. He was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed. Tony had never seen the God of Thunder look so defeated. He hadn't even looked like that when Loki had first been captured by SHIELD all those months ago.

Steve entered the small room as well. He wasn't at ease, but then again, neither was Tony. Together, they had faced many foes and many different situations, but for some reason, this one frightened them all. Perhaps it was because they had no real villain to fight. In fact, their usual villain lay almost comatose in a bed.

"Any news?" Tony asked. Since Steve hadn't been present at the mansion at the time everyone had lost memories, Fury decided he could trust the Captain the most. If some development had been made, then Steve would know first.

The Captain inhaled deeply and crossed his arms over his chest. "Nothing new. We contacted some allies like Doctor Strange, but none have any idea what could have happened to you guys. Someone beat Loki to a pulp and erased your memories. Do you know what that sounds like?"

"Yeah," Tony said bitterly, "like someone is covering his tracks."

"Exactly," Steve agreed, "I wish I had been there, Tony If I had just been there-"

"-there is nothing you could have done," Tony quickly said, knowing that Steve felt bad about leaving them behind, "we were _all_ there. Me, Thor, Bruce, Clint and Natasha. It's not the whole team, but we can defend ourselves, but even we weren't able to stop this apparently. So why has this happened?"

Steve turned away from the one-way-mirror. "I spoke with Natasha. She's worried sick."

That surprised Tony. He hadn't taken the Widow for the loving and caring person, certainly not when it came to villains. Tony liked Natasha, but he found her very distant and almost cold.

"There was blood on her hands, Tony," Steve explained, "it's safe to assume that it was Loki's blood."

"That means nothing," he sighed. He wished it meant nothing. "Have you reached Professor X yet? If he could tinker with our minds a little, then maybe he could find our memories again."

"He's not in New York at the moment and Doctor Strange can't help us either." Steve rubbed a hand over his tired face. "I'm afraid we'll have to solve this mystery alone."

~ o ~

Thor tried to shut the world out. The only thing he wanted to hear was the regular beeping that indicated Loki had a steady, strong pulse. Right now, that was the only thing that mattered to him. He knew people were watching him from the adjacent room – he could feel it, but he didn't care. He felt grateful that everyone was willing to help his brother, but he had somehow expected it.

SHIELD didn't like Loki, but they had enough honor and integrity not to let him perish.

"Thor?"

Thor's head snapped up and his gaze instantly landed on his brother's still form. Loki was looking directly at him with his one good eye. The other one had been covered by a bandage, but Loki didn't seem to mind.

"Hey." Thor moved closer to his brother. He hesitated to take his hand into his own, but he was suddenly afraid that any touch might hurt his brother. "It is good to see you awake."

"I'm tired," Loki muttered dully.

"That's normal," Thor assured him. He decided to take Loki's hand anyway and he was relieved when Loki didn't seem to mind. He did notice that Loki stared at their connecting hands, but he paid it no attention. It had been so long since the brothers had shared any affection. "You'll need time to heal, but I do not understand. Why don't you use your magic, Loki?"

Loki closed his eye and swallowed heavily. "I can't. I have no magic."

Thor didn't understand. Loki was a powerful sorcerer, one that didn't just lose his magic. It was again conformation that someone had done this to them. Thor could now see that Loki was afraid of the situation as well. "It will return," he assured him, "give it time, brother. I must go now, but you are safe here."

There came no protest which Thor had not expected.

"Be careful," was all Loki said.

And then Thor just knew. This was not normal behavior for his brother. Loki was hiding something and Thor would find out. In end, he always found out. It didn't seem, however, that he would like the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews! It's amazing to read your thoughts and ideas. I don't consider this story to be AU, though. (SPOILER if you haven't seen the movie!) 'The Avengers' happened, only Coulson didn't die. I love the guys too much to not include him. Where the Avengers and Loki stand at this point will become clear in this chapter. Enjoy!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 3**

Thor couldn't believe what he was hearing. He _refused_ to believe it. His eyes were entirely focused on Fury and the last minute had become a staring contest. Thor wouldn't be the one to break away first.

"I am sorry, Thor," Fury said as calmly as he could, "but Loki is an enemy of this world. Only months ago, he destroy most of New York. I must arrest him and keep him under constant surveillance."

"My brother came to me for help," Thor protested, his voice much too loud for Fury's liking, "and I will not have SHIELD lock him away in a dungeon." When Thor had set out to find the one responsible for the entire situation, he hadn't expected Fury waiting for him. The director had insisted on speaking with him, but Thor had never thought that this would be the subject of their conversation.

Tony awkwardly cleared his throat. Thor had forgotten that the Man of Iron was present as well, but he wanted him to stay silent right now. Tony had no business in this conversation and Thor knew that whatever Tony had to say would never be in Loki's favor. None of the Avengers liked his brother.

"With all due respect, Fury," Tony said, leaning back in his chair, "but Loki is in no condition to stay in a cell. Right now, he needs constant medical attention. I know the medical bay doesn't offer the best chances of security, but Loki isn't going anywhere. Besides, he doesn't have any magic."

Thor was pleasantly surprised to hear Tony say those words. It seemed he had a heart after all.

"Says Loki," Fury said bitterly, "but we all know he is the God of Lies. He might just be scheming something grand here."

"_No_," Thor shook his head, "I know my brother. He has been genuinely hurt and he is genuinely scared. He isn't scheming anything. Loki came here for protection and I shall give it to him and I am willing to go far to get him that protection."

"He came here for protection?" Fury echoed, spitting the words out. "Loki shouldn't be coming here in the first place! When we allowed him to leave earth after his failed attack, we expected him to be punished for his madness. Your brother should be in Asgardian prison."

Fury had a point. Thor swallowed heavily and thought about that. When he had left Loki on Asgard, he had been certain that his brother would be in good hands. Yes, Loki had been punished and Odin had imprisoned him, but had that not been just? How had Loki escaped from Asgard only to end up beaten half to death in Thor's bedroom?

"I believe-" Tony said, sensing the difficult situation could only escalate from this point on, "that Loki has been running from something. I believe he tried his best to fight, but he lost. In the end, he could only turn to Thor for help, but something went wrong."

Fury turned his eye to Tony. "Are you saying that whatever was after Loki erased your memories from the last twenty four hours?"

Tony shrugged. "Maybe."

"It would have been helpful if Loki could have told us, but he remembers nothing as well." Thor who had been pacing the room up to this point, now came to a halt and leaned onto the edge of a chair. He allowed his gaze to shift between Tony and Fury. His short conversation with Loki lay fresh in his mind and he still could not let go of one particular thought: 'Loki is hiding something'. Thor would never tell Fury this.

"Can't you contact that fella from Asgard?" Tony asked, raising one eyebrow. "You know, the one who sees all or whatever you said he could do."

"Heimdall?" Thor straightened his back and crossed his arms over his chest. "He has never been able to track my brother. At a young age, Loki managed to shield himself from Heimdall's all-seeing gaze. It is tricky and powerful magic. Even now with Loki temporarily without magic, Heimdall will still not be able to see him."

"So we are still nowhere," Tony sighed.

"Let me tell you this, friends," Thor said with a sudden sharpness to his voice. He felt he had to be very clear about this point. "I will not allow anyone to take Loki and I will not helplessly stand by and watch you lock him away."

~ o ~

Odin stood on the balcony of his chamber. It was a warm day, with no clouds in the sky. The King of Asgard could only stare into the distance. He wished he could turn back the clock. A few years ago, a lovely day such as this would have meant a nice time with the family. Thor would probably go hunting; Frigga would go for a walk and Loki - Odin sighed heavily when thinking of his youngest son.

It had all changed.

Odin tried to pinpoint the exact time it had all changed, but he could only conclude that so many things had happened over the past few years that it was difficult to pinpoint the exact time.

The door to his chamber opened and Odin knew who had entered. The footsteps of his wife echoed through the room and came towards him. Odin turned around and looked at Frigga. She looked lovely as usual, but her eyes betrayed how sad she felt. Lately, Frigga had never been really happy. Odin could not blame her.

"I know why you are here," Odin said. There lay no accusation in his voice. In fact, there lay very little emotion in his voice. Lately, Odin simply had trouble staying attached to it all. So much was happening and he was losing control of it all. He was supposed to be King of Asgard, Leader of the Nine Realms, but when it came to his family, he was the most powerless man in the universe.

The sadness in Frigga's eyes turned to anger. "This is outrageous," she spat. It was such uncharacteristic behavior for her. "Why are _they_ here?"

"You know why they are here," Odin replied calmly, "your question is why do I allow them to be here."

Frigga said nothing. Her face grew pale and her hands had become two fists.

"I cannot send them away, Frigga," Odin explained. He truly wished he could do so – it would certainly make matters much easier – but in the end it would start a war. Odin had seen enough war for his very long lifetime and he was prepared to do much to keep peace in the realms. "They have come to me with a proposal and I am considering it."

"No." Frigga shook head and stepped forward until she stood almost directly before her husband. "No. Please tell me you are not actually considering it!" She sounded more horrified and shocked than angry.

"They have rightful claims and-"

Frigga's hand hit his cheek. It made a filthy sound. Odin's head had snapped aside and he slowly raised his gaze to meet the eyes of his wife. He was not angry with her; he did not even blame her.

"And he is your son." With those words, she spun around on her heels and stalked from the room. She clearly did not regret hitting her King, but it had shaken her. Odin could see that her hands were trembling and that her eyes had been flooded with tears.

He is my son, Odin thought, but what does that mean exactly? How far can I go for him? How much can I risk for him?

… Even after everything that had happened recently.

Odin sighed.

~ o ~

"Let me tell you this, friends," Thor said with a sudden sharpness to his voice. He felt he had to be very clear about this point. "I will not allow anyone to take Loki and I will not helplessly stand by and watch you lock him away."

Fury opened his mouth to reply when a high-pitched alarm went off. For a split second, the three men looked at each other, but neither of them hesitated any longer. They all ran from the room to find whatever caused the alarm to go off. Thor didn't know what the others were thinking, but he could only think of Loki and his safety.

As they raced across a hallway, they encountered Maria Hill. She had been running to the control room just like they had been.

"What is going on?" Fury demanded to know.

Maria came to a halt and turned to address her superior. "We picked up a rapidly approaching spaceship, sir. It appears to be heavily armed so we don't think it's friendly."

"I swear to God," Fury muttered under his breath, "if this is Loki's doing…"

"No, I don't believe it," Thor said stubbornly. Tony and Fury ran after Maria to the grand control room of these headquarters, but Thor did not follow them. Instead, he spun around and headed the opposite direction which would lead him to the medical wing of the building.

Everyone was on high alert and no one paid the running God of Thunder any attention. Thor made it to Loki's room after a few quick turns and twists and he didn't hesitate to enter his brother's hospital room. For some reason, he had expected Loki to be sleeping, but what he found shocked and angered him at the same time.

Loki had managed to drag himself from his bed, only his legs must have given out because he lay on the ground with his hands reaching for support.

"What are you doing?" Thor demanded.

Loki was clearly in agony, but he continued to hoist himself up. "I wasn't going to sit around while someone attacked this base."

Thor rushed to his brother's side and helped him sit up on the floor. When Loki tried to stand, Thor made sure that his brother had no room to maneuver. He was exhausting himself while he should be resting.

"You're in no condition to be running around now."

"Tell me what's going on!" This time, Loki's voice was much stronger.

"A spaceship is approaching and it appears to be hostile." Thor didn't want to think what would happen if someone attacked them. Humans were good warriors and they had proven themselves during the battle against Loki and his army a few months ago, but they were nowhere near ready for another attack. "It is heavily armed," Thor continued, "and we are not ready to fight again."

Loki's face paled and Thor somehow knew it wasn't because he was putting such stress on his body.

"What is it?" Thor asked. "What do you know?"

"The spaceship," Loki panted as he had trouble breathing now. He had several bruises on his chest and besides three bruised ribs, he also had a broken one. If he continued to stress his body like this, he could pass out again. "I know who is coming."

"What? How?"

"I know who is coming, Thor," Loki repeated, "the Chitauri are coming."

Not a sound managed to come from Thor's mouth. The Chitauri were powerful and they might not be the brightest aliens, but they could fight a decent battle. It had been them who had wrecked New York after all. What Thor didn't understand, however, was why they were back and why Loki knew this.

"Why are they coming?" Thor asked, having found his voice again. "How do you know it's them?"

"Because…" Loki hesitated and looked directly into his brother's eyes, "they are here for me."

**AN: Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: I decided to update this chapter quickly, because I know it's never fun to wait long for a new chapter after the previous one ended with a cliffhanger. I love getting all of your feedback! It's fun to read about your ideas and thoughts. I won't comment on them, because I don't want to give away any spoilers. Enjoy chapter 4!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 4**

"What do you mean 'they're here for me'?" Thor moved to the window and gazed up. The sky was dotted with white clouds, but other than that, it all looked peaceful. The people walking underneath it had no idea what danger was approaching. Last time the Chitauri (under Loki's command) had attacked, they had destroyed one of the biggest cities of this world and killed over hundreds of people. Thor did not want that to happen again.

"I promised them a world, Thor," Loki said, his voice rasping, "but I failed because of your new allies; because of the Avengers. I promised them new land, but you've defeated me and their army."

Thor was desperately trying to make sense out of this. Thinking was difficult with that damned alarm sounded over their heads. "So they are going to try again?"

"No," Loki was clearly annoyed that Thor didn't understand, "they are aware that they could never take this world. Not without help anyway. No, they have come for_ me_. They want me to face penalty according to their laws and they are not a kind race, Thor, they want me dead. Then there is…" Loki stopped talking at that point.

Thor began to pace the floor, never letting his gaze leave his brother's eye. "Then there is what?"

Loki closed his eye and inhaled deeply. If Thor hadn't known any better, he would have guessed that Loki looked frightened. When his brother opened his one eye again, however, he simply looked determined. He hoisted himself from the floor and dropped down on his bed again. The sudden movements caused him to cough violently, but he waved Thor's help away.

"Then there is what?" Thor asked again.

"It's too big of a coincidence," Loki answered. He dropped his head onto his pillow and Thor noticed how weak and tired he looked. One touch might just break him in half. "It isn't the first time they've come for me."

Thor didn't want to grow angry with his brother, not while he was wounded like this, but he could not help but feel incredibly annoyed. Apparently, Loki was much more informed of the situation than Thor was and he hated it. "How is that possible?" Thor asked. "How can they have come for you before?"

Loki said nothing.

"Where have you been these past few days?" Thor stepped towards Loki and laid a hand on his shoulder. He was aware that he might be squeezing a bit hard, but Loki didn't seem to notice. "What has happened to you?"

"I have been where I was supposed to be."

"Asgard?" Thor withdrew his hand when he noticed Loki's pained expression. "Last time I saw you, I left you in father's care. You were to be imprisoned for your war crimes against Midgard. But now you claim the Chitauri have come for you before. This makes no sense!"

"Unless," Loki said carefully," …think about it, Thor."

"Unless…" Thor swallowed heavily, not liking the idea that had just struck him, "the Chitauri came for you while you were in prison in Asgard."

"Congratulations," Loki mocked, "you've won the first price. The leader of the Chitauri came to Asgard while I was there. They spoke with the Allfather."

"And what did father say?"

"_Your_ father didn't really keep me posted on his business as King. I only knew the Chitauri were there because the guards loved rubbing it in my face."

Thor could hear the bitterness in Loki's voice when he spoke of Odin (and of the guards), but he chose to ignore it. Right now was the time to get into family-issues. Not for as long as the Chitauri were coming.

"They won't attack; they won't cause destruction," Loki then said, "not _yet_ anyway. They'll contact earth, ask for its leader and they'll make the same demands they've made to Asgard. I assume Fury will be spokesman for this planet? We both know what that man will choose when it comes to protecting me or protecting the planet."

Thor tried to think rapidly, but he couldn't find any quick solution for the situation. One thing was certain, he wasn't going to hand Loki over to those primitives and he wasn't going to let Fury do that either.

"Then we have no other choice," he said after a short silence, "you're not safe on earth and earth isn't safe with you here. I'll have to take you some place I can protect you." He turned to look into the pale green eye of his brother. He wished he had a better idea, but he had to think quickly and it appeared this was the only solution.

"No," Loki protested, immediately understand what Thor was thinking, "no, I won't go there."

"The Chitauri can make their demands to Asgard, but Asgard can also protect itself. If I take you home, it would be better for us all."

"I refuse!" Loki said, panic in his voice. His one green eye stood wild. "I won't go to Asgard again. Don't take me there, _please_."

Thor had never heard his brother like this before. He had never heard Loki…beg. It almost made him change his mind, but then he remembered that this was the only way to protect his brother. "I'm sorry."

~ o ~

"What is happening?" Steve asked to no one in particular when he entered the main control room. He went to stand with Fury and Tony and let his eyes examine the different computer screens. He wasn't good with all the technological stuff of this century, but he was able to read. The warning signs only showed a spaceship, however, and Steve had no idea what else was going on.

"Right now," Tony answered, his arms crossed over his chest, "not much."

At that point, the alarm was switched of and Steve sighed thankfully. He was beginning to think that the high pitched alarm would drive him mad _and_ deaf. "I don't understand," he said.

"The spaceship is there in the sky, but it's sort of…waiting," Tony explained without taking his eyes from the computer screens. "It's carrying a new kind of missiles – ones I have never seen before - but they aren't powered up. Right now, they don't seem to be preparing an attack."

"We don't know _who_ they are?"

Fury – who had been previously occupied with Maria Hill – joined the conversation. "No, but I suggest you prepare yourself for a fight anyway."

"Sir, they seem to be opening lines of communications," said Maria Hill. She was busy typing away on the touch screens and Steve tried to see what she was doing. It was pointless, however. "Actually," she added, "it's just a recorded message."

"Play it," Fury ordered.

After a moment, a deep, gruff voice echoed through the room. "We are the Chitauri. We have been on this planet before, but we do not come for another war. We want the trickster Loki Laufeyson to be handed over to us. You have thirty minutes to do so. If this does not happen, we will fight for what is rightfully ours. We are the Chitauri. We have been-"

Maria Hill switched off the message. There was a long silence and Steve tried to understand what the message meant exactly.

"Are they trying to save Loki?" Maria asked.

"No," Tony shook his head, frowning slightly, "they didn't sound friendly. '_We want the trickster Loki Laufeyson to be handed over to us_'. That sounds like they are very cross with him and they want to punish him."

Steve sighed. Whenever Loki showed up, more trouble followed. This shouldn't really surprise him, but somehow he felt like an idiot for thinking that the next few days might have been easy. "You know, I have been thinking." He had Tony's attention at that point. "You said Loki has been running and that he turned to Thor because he was his last hope."

"Ah yes," Tony said, "it would make sense; Loki has been running from the Chitauri."

"They want him," Fury said, resting his hands in his sides, "to punish him. I can't imagine that the Chitauri were pleased that Loki's plans failed, that the wormhole closed before its time and that the Tesseract was kept from them."

"There is something else," Steve said, "it takes a strong sorcerer to erase someone's memories. I say it takes one hell of a powerful sorcerer to erase the memories of five men and delete the files of an artificial intelligence."

"Are you saying you think Loki erased our memories?" Tony asked.

"Yes," Steve replied, "but the question remains why. If Loki has been running from the Chitauri and if he came to Thor for help, then why did he erase everyone's memories? Did he erase his own? It makes no sense!"

Fury nodded. "So something else is going on as well."

"When it comes to Loki," Steve sighed, wishing he had all of the answers, "there is always more to it than meets the eye."

"But what do we do now?" Maria asked. She pointed at the screen which showed the spaceship. "If we don't give them Loki, they will attack and right now, we can't fight off another army like the last time they were in town."

"Uhm, sir?" One of the SHIELD agents hesitantly asked for Fury's attention. "You might want to look at this." The agent pulled up a video and placed it on a big screen. It showed Loki and Thor walking across a patch of green grass.

Fury's one eye grew wide with anger and he reached for his gun. "What the hell are they doing?"

"Are they…_leaving_?" Tony asked while stepping closer to the screen.

Without another word, the director of SHIELD stormed from the room, a gun in his hand. Steve and Tony followed, not knowing what Thor was doing. One thing was clear, however, they could not let him take Loki away from them. Handing the trickster over to the Chitauri might be the only one way to prevent another devastating battle.

**AN: Thoughts?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews! They keep inspiring me to write so please keep them coming. In response to some of the reviews: I'm afraid Torchwood has nothing to do with this, though it would have made for one brilliant story! I'm not trying to overdose on the ****LokiWump here, so if I ever cross a few lines (make it sappy and overdramatic) then feel free to tell me. Any and all feedback and constructive criticism is welcome.**

**On with the fic!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 5**

_~ o ~_

_A few months earlier on Asgard_

_~ o ~_

Loki – with his hands bound behind his back – looked up. He was currently on both knees before the King of Asgard and he hated it. Odin was looking down at him – both literally as figuratively - and his eyes betrayed no emotion. Either the Allfather had finally learned to shield his emotions away or he simply cared nothing for the man currently before him. Loki didn't know what he preferred.

Frigga and Thor were present as well. They could not help but look sad and…disappointed. Loki wished they would not look at him like that. It made the little hairs in the back of his neck stand up. He would have said something to them, but his mouth was still gagged with that irritable metal tool he had received on earth. It must be a creation from the Iron Man, Loki thought.

"Loki…Laufeyson," Odin said after a silence that had lasted for minutes. Loki had called himself with that name before, but to actually hear Odin call him Laufey's son still stung. "You have appeared before the tribunal and you have been found guilty of war crimes by the Elders of Asgard."

It was suffice to say that Loki had expected nothing else. Of course they found him guilty! There had not even been a proper interrogation, just a bunch of old, foolish men that had looked at him with contempt. What Loki wanted to know was the _severity_ of his punishment. Asgard had evolved beyond the point of torturing their prisoners, but it was known throughout the universe that the Æsir could still be very cruel.

While Odin continued to speak, Loki looked directly into his eyes. It was as if he was challenging his so-called father with his dark and provocative gaze. Would Odin dare to look back at him like that? Did the King even feel remotely guilty about the situation? Was this not Odin's fault in the end?

"You shall be imprisoned for as long as I see fit, without the right for visitors. Solitude will give you time to think about your actions. During you stay in a cell, your magic shall be drawn from your body."

Loki's eyes widened when he heard Odin say those last few words. He cared nothing about imprisonment or about solitude. He could easily escape a cell in the dungeons of the palace. Loki had lived here his entire life after all and he knew the weak spots. However, magic would have been vital. Losing that was what he feared most. It had always been the source of his power. Without magic, Loki would not escape. Without magic, he was _nothing_!

For the shortest moment, he expected Thor to speak for him; to defend him. He dared not look at his brother, however. He wasn't sure what was visible in his eyes at the moment, but he knew the darkness had been replaced by fear. Loki did not want Thor to see that in him, not while he was kneeling and gagged.

The heir of Asgard said nothing and remained standing beside his mother. Loki gave in and looked at him – silently pleaded with him – but Thor only looked right back at him. Clearly, the golden prince saw that this punishment was just. Loki became faintly aware that he was breathing heavily, but he could not control it.

Before he realized what was happening, he felt two guards heave him up. They waited until the war criminal stood firmly on his feet and then guided him away from the throne room. Loki thought about struggling, but he somehow found himself numb. He was going to lose his magic forever and he would be locked in a cell for who knows how many centuries! _Alone_.

After the two guards shoved him into a small cell with four blinding white walls, they removed the gag and enchanted ropes that held his hands together behind his back. That same rope had prevented him from using magic, but he had been placed into the cell too quickly for Loki to use his magic. As soon as the guards closed the heavy steel door – again painted in a blinding white color - Loki could feel the air around him sucking his magic away.

The cell was incredibly small. At least, it was small compared to his old bedchambers in this palace. He had expected imprisonment, but on some deep level within he had hoped that he would simply be confined to his chambers. Perhaps that punishment would have been much too light, Loki realized. It had been foolish to think that. The cell held a bed, a small table and a wash basin. Near the left corner stood toilet. There was a small window – much too small to use as an escape-route – that let in the warm sunlight.

Loki absentmindedly rubbed his sore wrists. The ropes had burned his skin and he had no magic to heal the minor wounds. Not knowing what to do with himself, he sat down on the bed and inhaled deeply. When he had first arrived on Earth – planning to make it his Kingdom – he had not thought he would ever return to Asgard. He had certainly not expected to be a prisoner here.

There was a small hatch that allowed guards to look inside the cell and it opened. Loki knew who would appear. There really was only one person on Asgard that would break the rule of solitude for him. Loki stood again and moved to stand before the steel door. Thor was looking at him through the small gap. His blue eyes stood radiant with something Loki could not quite place. It might be sorrow.

"Hello, _Thor_," Loki knew he shouldn't sound so poisonous, "have you come to gloat?"

"Of course not," Thor replied calmly. It seemed he had found the best way to react to Loki's many comments; by ignoring the hateful undertones. "Loki, you must understand that this is for your own good. Lately, you have been so…"

"So what?" Loki snapped.

"So angry!" Thor closed his eyes, clearly cursing himself for his little outburst. When he opened his eyes again, he looked calm once more. "I barely recognize you anymore. You have been corrupted, brother, by anger and hatred."

Loki conjured his most devilish grin. "And locking me away will surely help."

"Taking your magic away will," Thor said, "you've been driven mad with power. The walls of this cell will drain your magic. If you stay inside long enough, the magic won't return to you once you leave this place. You'll see everything clearer then."

"You're delusional," Loki whispered harshly. He couldn't believe Thor and everyone else actually believed this. Magic had nothing to do with his quest for a Kingdom or with his quest for acceptance of his family.

"No," Thor shook his head, "I am merely trying to help you, as is father. I will come back for you as soon as possible – I don't care father has forbidden contact - and I swear that I will help you, but I must go now."

"Back to earth?"

"Yes. I will see you soon, brother."

The hatch closed and Loki was alone again. He sighed deeply and allowed himself to slide down against one of those hideous walls. It seemed there was no way out of this situation and Thor wasn't going to help him either. It appeared he had to bide his time. One day, someone would make a mistake and Loki would take advantage of the situation.

If only that day would come quickly…

_~ o ~_

_Present time_

_~ o ~_

Thor didn't ask anyone's permission. Frankly, he didn't think he needed it. This was his brother and he was responsible for him. If taking Loki to Asgard would keep him safe, then everyone else would just have to live with that. Even Loki himself.

It took him a few minutes to get out of the building since he had to support his brother along the way, but he felt lucky that no one tried to stop them. Every agent of SHIELD was too busy preparing for another attack by the Chitauri and they clearly had no time to focus on Thor or his plans.

Thor, who had an arm around Loki's waist, ignored his brother's pleads to stop as he finally reached outdoors. "I have to get you home, Loki," he said stubbornly, "you'll be safe there."

"Asgard will never be safe for me," Loki argued. His knees threatened to give out for the umpteenth time, but Thor had a firm grip on him and kept him standing up. "Listen to me, Thor, just take me somewhere else. Take me to Jotunheim for all I care, but _not _Asgard. Not to _him_. Please, Thor. _Brother_!"

Thor was completely stunned to hear Loki call him 'brother' again since he had not done so in months. It almost made him stop, but Thor pressed on and only came to a halt when he stood in the middle of a patch of green grass. There was no one around here and Thor concluded that it was safe enough. He directed his gaze to the clouded sky.

"Heimdall?" He called out as he felt Loki cringe back underneath his grasp. "Heimdall, my friend, can you hear me?"

Behind them, Thor heard the protests of his friends. He looked over his shoulder and found Tony, Fury and Steve running towards him. They did not look pleased. Fury carried a gun, but Thor trusted that the leader of SHIELD would not dare to fire it at him. He did not like disappointing them, but Thor remained focused and kept his priorities in order. He ignored them and only thought of Loki.

"Heimdall, I need you!"

The sky darkened and Thor felt Loki shrink away from him. If Loki had a choice, he would probably choose a duel with Fury at the moment. For a moment, Thor wondered why Loki had grown so… What exactly was Loki towards their home now? He had always been angry, but now he seemed fearful of Asgard. Thor had no time to think much about it, though.

The power of the Bifrost momentarily threw him of balance, but he maintained his grip on Loki. The odd sensation of being transported away from earth lasted a few seconds and when new scenery became visible, Thor was relieved to find the familiar surroundings of Asgard around him.

He was home.

Loki looked like he had just arrived in hell.

"Thank you, Heimdall," Thor said as his eyes landed on the gatekeeper.

Heimdall stayed strangely quiet and Thor frowned. He instantly noticed Heimdall's odd behavior. Then he followed Heimdall's line of sight and he was surprised to find his father standing on the bridge. Two black ravens circled above them. Odin was also joined by what appeared to be half an army of guards and warriors. Thor instinctively tightened his grip on Loki.

"Father?" Thor asked with doubt in his voice. "What is going on?"

"Arrest him," Odin said, pointing at Loki who was leaning heavily on Thor's shoulder. The journey by Bifrost had exhausted him. The guards acted as their King had commanded, but Thor stepped back – taking Loki with him - and raised Mjolnir defensively. Again, Odin commanded, "Thor, let him go."

"Father, look at him!" Thor still did not release Loki. "He needs help. Why are you arresting him when he obviously needs medical attention?"

Odin's eyes shifted across Loki's fragile body, paused on his bandaged eye and then turned to look back at Thor. He didn't seem affected by the horrendous sight of his beaten son. Thor tried to read his father's eyes, he tried to understand what he was thinking right now, but those older blue eyes were closed off to him. There lay secrets in Odin's gaze, but Thor could never comprehend them.

"Arrest Loki," the old King repeated, "I will not have him escaping my cell again."

The guards moved forward for the second time and this time Thor was forced to let go of his brother. It was him against at least thirty warriors and guards and even though Thor knew he could defeat them all, he knew he could never fight them and keep Loki safe.

Loki said nothing, he didn't even struggle (mostly because he was physically too weak to do so), but his green eyes told Thor more than enough. He had never seen Loki frightened like this and Thor felt a painful tug at his heart. He wanted to embrace his brother, he wanted to protect him and it seemed that now he had to protect him from Odin.

But how in all the realms was Thor supposed to go against his father and King? He felt torn. He wanted to please his father, he wanted to listen to him because he was the Allfather and he was wise and strong. Surely Odin knew what he was doing? But on the other hand Thor wanted to look after his little brother who clearly needed him right now.

Right now, the golden prince could only watch as the guards brought Loki back to a cell. He could only watch as Odin walked away, his face void of any emotion.

This, he had not expected to happen.

**AN: I don't think that chapter-ending came as a surprise…did it? Thoughts?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Thank you so much for all of your feedback! They keep me writing and posting so please don't stop You might not really be interested in the flash-backs, but they are important. Also, there are always little clues in the chapters that reveal what is important in the events that have happened. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?**

**Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling. I'll shut up now. Enjoy chapter six!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 6**

_~ o ~_

_A few months earlier on Asgard_

_~ o ~_

Loki lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Like the walls surrounding him, it was white and incredibly boring. There wasn't a crack or inconsistency to count. It had been almost twelve days since he had been locked in this cell and Loki was already beginning to lose his mind in here. The worst thing to realize was that as every second passed, he lost more and more of his magic. If he stayed inside this cell long enough, he would emerge completely magic-free.

If only he had books or something else to keep himself occupied with. Perhaps this was his torture… Loki honestly didn't know anymore.

The hatch opened and a gruff looking guard appeared. "Stand back," he ordered.

Loki – not even sure why he did it – jumped up from his bed and backed away. He had no idea what would happen. There was no clock in his cell, but it was definitely too early for dinner. The door opened and the guard entered his cell, two other guards staying outside while looking suspicious (they were rather good at that). They clearly meant to have the first guard's back.

That first guard – the one Loki knew to be Posco – held in his hands the same rope that had bound his hands days ago. "The Allfather says you can leave your cell for thirthy minutes a day," Posco said. He was not much older than Loki, but he was much broader and more muscled. He had ordinary brown hair and matching brown eyes. "I am going to bind you and if you try anything, _anything_ at all, I will leave you bound and gagged in this cell for days."

If it was meant as a threat, then Loki missed the entire point. Gagging him wouldn't be much different than his current situation since he had no one to talk to and binding his hands would simply be a tad uncomfortable. But Loki had learned a long time ago to play a certain role. If he was obedient now, the guards might one day lower their shields. One day… Loki was looking forward to making them look like fools on the day he'd escape.

"I understand," he said. He lifted his hands and allowed Posco to bind his wrists together. The rough rope was uncomfortable to bear, but of course Odin would want him to wear it. As soon as he stepped out of this cell, that same rope would still suppress his magic.

As Posco made sure the knot was tide well, he began to smile arrogantly. "How low you've fallen," he said in a hard whisper.

Loki looked directly into his eyes. It was clear Posco hated him, but the feeling was mutual so Loki only smiled back at him.

"You were once a Prince," Posco continued and now Loki did want him to shut up, "and look at you now. You are a disgrace to Asgard."

There really was nothing Loki could do. He had no advantage and any move he made would cause the other two guards to attack him. Loki could only take the insults while he imagined ripping Posco's throat apart. It was a very vivid vision and Loki thoroughly enjoyed it. Apparently, Posco saw in his eyes that he was thinking something along those lines.

"_Pathetic_."

Loki had enough self-control to not react to Posco's insults. Thor would have already destroyed the entire cell, but Loki knew when to bide his time. One day, he would be strong again and Posco would be the first on his list to make suffer for everything that had happened.

"Weren't we going for a stroll?" Loki asked, tauntingly.

Posco narrowed his eyes and went to stand behind Loki. He shoved his shoulder hard, forcing Loki to walk forward. Difficult times lay ahead, Loki knew, and he needed to be patient.

~ o ~

Weeks passed and Loki dragged himself through his daily routine. He would get up, wash, eat and be bored. After a while, he began to look forward to his half hour of outside-time. Occasionally, he saw Frigga. She wasn't allowed to see or speak with him – not yet anyway due to Loki's so called solitude – but she still considered herself Loki's mother and there wasn't a force in the universe that could keep her away from him. Talking with her was always pleasant. It was so that Loki learned that Thor was still on Earth, that Jotunheim was a mess and that the people of Asgard were settling back into their lives with Odin as their King.

One day, however, something _changed_.

The guards loved to taunt and mock him – Loki knew well enough to ignore it (for now) – but it seemed that the more he resisted it all, the more they grew agitated. Posco of course was the worst. Loki had learned that the guard held a deep love for Odin (truly, the loyalty was almost admirable) and that he felt it was a disgrace that Loki acted as he did. If it were up to Posco, Loki would be licking Odin's boots for forgiveness.

Then one afternoon, Posco entered his cell with the magical rope in his hands. He bound Loki and – as usual – explained the rules. Loki was to listen to the guards at all times. He was not to make any contact with others and any attempt at an escape would end with him being locked away and the key to his cell tossed into the ocean.

"-but I am sure that you understand it all by now," Posco said dully, "since you've somehow become Odin's perfect little princess."

Loki rolled his eyes. He really wanted no trouble today. Loki felt tired, bored and longed for fresh air. "Oh, do shut up." He had said the words without realizing it.

Posco widened his eyes. "Excuse me?"

Honestly, Loki had enough of Posco's behavior. "When all is said and done," Loki said, half smiling, "I am still a prince and you are but a lowly guard. A _servant_. I honestly cannot believe you think you are the boss of me."

Posco's hands became two fists, his knuckles white. Clearly the man had a temper. "I despise you."

"The feeling is mutual," Loki spat.

Posco's right fist hit him right in the face. Loki staggered back, his bound hands instantly covering his hurt nose. Even Posco was shocked by what had just happened. Not only was beating a prisoner _not_ done, neither was beating a prince of Asgard. Posco turned slightly pale and Loki looked directly into his filthy brown eyes. The situation had changed now and Loki moved the man to the top of his list of people who would one day pay.

Loki removed his hands and found them wet and warm with blood.

Another guard rushed inside and pressed his fingers on Loki's nose in order to stop the bleeding. It seemed he understood what danger they were in. If Odin were to find out what happened here, they could all lose their job and fall into disgrace with the King. And Loki knew how loyal these guards were. Falling into disgrace was almost as bad as death.

"Let go of me!" Loki snarled. The guard stepped back, his eyes revealing fear. "I am fine. Now can we go? I have the right to leave this cell for thirty minutes."

Posco and the second guard exchanged quick glances, but they nodded and guided Loki outside.

_~ o ~_

_Present time_

_~ o ~_

Loki couldn't believe he was back here again; the little white cell that he had grown to hate over the last months. Somehow it appeared smaller, but Loki knew that was his own mind playing tricks on him. There was one advantage to the entire situation. For the first time, Loki felt he could rest properly. He closed his eye – his right one, which was still covered by a bandage and hurt like hell - and he inhaled deeply. He wished he could fall asleep, but he had too many thoughts.

He wished he could shut out the entire world. He wished he could become young and carefree again. He tried to remember a time where he and Thor were still children. They used to chase each other through the halls of this palace. At times Thor would win using his strength and Loki would win using his magic. Each time, Thor had accused him cheating, but they always ended up laughing about it. Those times were long gone.

There was nothing he could do to turn back time. At times he wanted to forget everything that had happened, but what was to point to it all then? He was the man he was today because of all the lies and deceit and in the end, Loki liked who he was. Anything beat being just Thor's little brother.

Loki turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He wondered what was happening above him. Would Thor be screaming at Odin? Would he be defending him? It somehow seemed unlikely. In the end, Loki was right back where he belonged. Only… Thor still seemed to care for him. Might it be that the golden boy of Asgard had a weak spot for him?

Sighing heavily, Loki closed his eye and began to drift off into a shallow sleep. He dreamed of Asgard, golden underneath the sun until it was consumed by flames. His dream shifted and he saw the face of Thor floating before him. He looked angry, more than angry and Loki was begging him. He was begging him to believe him.

Tears ran down his cheeks, but Thor looked so incredibly _furious_. His blue eyes were cold, his lips pale.

"Loki?"

Loki awoke suddenly. He couldn't remember where he was, but Thor was with him – sitting on the edge of his bed - and he wasn't sure what was happening. He quickly sat up only to remember where he was and what his situation was exactly. He groaned painfully and bit down on his lip. He forced himself to take in deep breaths.

"Are you all right?" Thor asked.

Loki knew he wasn't referring to his wounds.

"You were muttering in your sleep," Thor explained, his hands resting uncomfortably in his lap, "you were begging me. What were you dreaming?"

There was a long pause and Loki contemplated his options. In the end, there was very little he could answer. He simply knew he couldn't tell his brother the truth. "I don't know. It was a very strange dream. It made no sense."

Thor only nodded.

"Why are you here?" Loki couldn't believe Thor actually had permission to be here. In all the months he had been locked in this cell, he had only ever seen the guards. Odin had been very adamant about that. Solitude had been part of his punishment after all. Then again, Thor had not been in Asgard during that time.

"I have spoken with our father," Thor said and Loki almost corrected him. But what did it matter at this point? "Your punishment continues for now. I do not know how long you will be locked in here, but I must ask of you, Loki, to not escape again. You know what happened last time."

Loki frowned. This was not something he had expected Thor to tell him. "Last time?"

"You escaped and you fell into the enemy's hands." Thor looked into his one green eye. "The Chitauri want you, but I will not allow them to lay another hand on you."

Loki stared right back at Thor. Was this what he believed? Was this what Odin had told him? It appeared the old King was more cunning than Loki gave him credit for. "You're mistaken, Thor," he said in a cold voice, "I will never be safe here."

"Perhaps not," Thor admitted, "but for now, it is the best option. I will deal with the Chitauri. In the meantime, you can rest here and heal." With those words, Thor stood up and left the cell.

Loki was too shocked to say anything. Was he really supposed to lay down his head again? Did everyone expect him to obey Odin even after the dreadful events of last time? Only then did Loki remember: no one _knew_ about those dreadful events. He was alone and Loki suddenly felt very tired. He was right back where he started.

**AN: I do so love writing Posco. Do you guys hate him? I kinda hate him and I **_**created**_** him.**

**Thought?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Well, I have to admit that writing this chapter has been difficult. I couldn't get it to flow which is why you had to wait for it for so long. My apologies for that. Also, I want to thank everyone that left me those awesome reviews! They are what keep me writing. I hope you'll all like what I have written this time!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 7**

_~ o ~_

_A few weeks earlier on Asgard_

_~ o ~_

Ever since Posco involuntarily broke his nose, Loki had been left in peace. They no longer mocked or threatened him, but that also meant it had become boring again. Each time, two guards came in, placed the rope around his wrists and guided him outside for half an hour. Honestly, he was beginning to think he missed Posco's attitude.

Then another regular day came where Posco and a new guard entered his cell.

"Ah, is it that time again?" Loki asked. He stood up from where he had been previously lying on his bed and spun around to face his oh-so-favorite guard. "How is the weather?"

"It is good…my Lord."

That was – _different_. Loki and the guards did not talk often – never actually – but to hear Posco actually call him 'my Lord' was just a tad too much. "So polite." He couldn't help but mock the man. "Only last week you thought me scum and broke my nose and now I am your Lord again. Why the change of heart?"

Posco, who was binding his wrists together, looked up to meet his gaze. They stood challenging, but also distant and calculated. "I realize my mistake," he replied calmly, "I crossed a line. I still think you are not worth to be our King's son, as I am sure you still think me a lowly servant, but I do take my job seriously."

Loki had not expected this answer.

"I should not have hit you."

"You should not have," Loki agreed. Whatever this man told him, he still distrusted him. But something had changed now even though Loki could not quite name it. "Now you've made everything awkward."

The next thirty minutes passed without incident and Loki was glad of it. He enjoyed his time outside and realized how much he missed his freedom. With every day that went by, he lost more and more of his magic. If Loki did not do something soon, he would find himself _ordinary_.

Then, as if by some miracle, the opportunity came.

Posco escorted Loki back to his cell – along with that new guard. However, said guard was not very good at his job and he was distracted while remaining outside in the stone hallway. Loki felt the little hairs in the back of his neck stand up when thinking of his options. He looked directly into Posco's eyes and saw – for the first time – no hatred in them. Had this opportunity arrived yesterday, Loki would never have hesitated.

Today, however… Why did that fool have to apologize?

Loki remembered everything that had happened to him lately. His fall from the bridge, his alliance with the Chitauri, his attack on earth and much, much more. If he did not act right now, he would be stuck in this cell for another long time. By then, his magic would be gone. That made the case clear.

Just before Posco moved to remove the ropes around his wrists, Loki kicked out and hit Posco in his stomach. The guard was completely taken off guard and Loki used it to his advantage. He turned him around and started choking him with his ropes. Feeling the life leave this man's body was almost thrilling. Loki had never liked Posco and that apology had almost ruined it all, but in the end, it felt good. It felt just.

The second guard should never have left his post! By the time he returned, he found his prisoner killing his guard.

The new guard hurried inside, using his spear to attack Loki, but of course that was useless. Loki might not have his magic, but he had always been quick on his feet. He darted aside and grabbed the spear with both his hands. With one quick pull, he gained control of the weapon and turned it against the guard. Loki knocked him of his feet and quickly began to strangle him as well. It had all passed in less than five minutes.

Loki cut his ropes and stepped out of the cell. A tingling sensation invaded his body and he knew it was his magic returning to him, though it was faint. Too faint to use. Now was not the time to think about this, however, and Loki ran. He reached the end of the hall and ascended the long staircase. He got to the top in less than a minute.

He could hear more guards coming after him, but Loki dared not look back. Somewhere in the distance, an alarm sounded. Now the whole of Asgard knew he had escaped. If only his magic would grow stronger, then he could transport himself away from here. He stopped for a second to catch his breath and he used the opportunity to reach out to his magic again. He could feel it like a snake twisting and turning in his chest, but it was still too weak. All he needed to do, Loki realized, was buy himself time.

He began to run again and made a left turn. That had been a mistake. Not twenty feet away stood Odin, Gungnir in his hands and pointed at him. Loki came to a quick halt and realized he was trapped. His eyes grew wide and breaths came out raggedly. _Just buy yourself time_, Loki reminded himself.

"Allfather," Loki breathed, never looking away from Odin's cold blue eyes.

"Why, Loki?" Odin asked, his voice even and calculated as always. "Was your punishment not just?"

Loki licked his lips, suddenly aware of how thirsty he felt. "I guess it is in my nature to defy you," he said challenging, "I've never been your perfect son, I've never been your son, so why do you keep expecting me to obey?"

Odin's eyes narrowed and his grip on Gungnir tightened. "Did you kill your guards?"

"Yes," Loki answered, not seeing to point in lying about it, "yes, I did."

Behind him, two dozen guards appeared. They looked bigger than the ones having guarded him all this time and Loki knew they were out for blood. They were all without doubt best buddies with Posco.

"You cannot escape," Odin said, "surrender now and end this."

Loki had come too far for that. "Never."

A dead moment passed. Loki considered using his magic – even the easiest spell might help him – but he knew that would be pointless. He decided to let it grow stronger first. Then Odin realized his plan and Loki felt like a deer caught in headlights. His eyes widened and he could only watch as Odin fired his weapon. He fell down, his chest burning. If only he had _something_ to fight back with.

_~ o ~_

_Present time_

_~ o ~_

When Thor first arrived back at his chambers, he was surprised to find that they felt strangely unfamiliar. Perhaps it was because he had been residing on earth for so long now. He could remember every detail of this room, but he felt detached from it all. It was probably because of the situation right now. He had difficulty keeping his head straight with everything that was happening to his brother.

His brother who wasn't even his brother.

Odin and Frigga had told him the truth some days after Loki had fallen from the bridge and Thor had felt torn for long. When he had learned of Loki's actions back on earth, he had been angry. Somehow, it had all began to make sense. But now Thor knew where he stood. Loki might not share his blood, but they grew up together and Thor would never stop calling him 'brother'. It had been a wise decision.

Yet now he was faced with a few impossible tasks. Protecting Loki would not be easy. Odin wanted him in a cell, Fury and the rest of the Avengers probably wanted him in the deepest dungeon of Asgard and then there were the Chitauri. They demanded Loki's head on a plate. His young brother should learn to keep more friends than enemies.

A short knock on his door disrupted his train of thoughts. Thor inhaled deeply and forced himself to focus. He called to enter and was pleased to see the Warriors Three and the Lady Sif. It had been so long since he had spoken with them and he was glad that they looked good.

"We heard what happened on Midgard," Sif said, not bothering to greet him properly. She looked tense, but then again, she always looked tense when matters were about Loki. "The Chitauri did not attack the earth, did they?"

"Not that I know of," Thor answered. He didn't want to imagine what would happen if that race did decide to attack earth. He feared for his friends, but he could not run to their aid just yet. Loki was his first concern. He was family after all. "They made some demands, but Loki told me that they have done the same here." He drew strength from that thought and besides, the Avengers weren't the only one to stand in for earth's defences.

"That's true," Fandral said, clearly remembering the event of the Chitauri making their demands in this realm.

Thor, realizing that he didn't know much of it all, decided that it was time to change that. He wanted details, more specifically; he wanted to know how Odin had handled it all. Thor knew how difficult it was for his father to keep loyal and affectionate about his youngest son. "What did the Allfather say?"

Sif looked confused. "You do not know?"

Thor shook his head.

"He is considering the Chitauri's offer," she explained, "we can only guess what he'll decide in the end."

Anger flooded Thor's veins. He could not believe Odin would even need time to think about this. If this was true, then Loki – as he had claimed in the first place - was not safe here. Then where in this entire universe was he safe? "I must speak with my father," Thor said, his voice hard, "I will not allow anyone to hand over my brother to those primates."

"Thor, you cannot go now," Volstagg stopped Thor, "your father has made it clear that he does not wish to be disturbed."

He would be stubborn about this. "He will be disturbed by _me_, his son."

"You don't understand," Sif said, something hidden in her gaze that Thor failed to recognize, "he's with them right now."

His heart skipped a beat while his hands transformed into two fists. They ached for Mjolnir. "The _Chitauri_ are with my father?"

The three warriors and lady Sif looked awkward.

"Yes," Hogun said.

Thor spun around and headed for the exit. His hand swung out towards his bed where his hammer lay, but it instantly flew to his open hand. Thor swiftly caught it and stormed outside while ignoring the pleading cries of his friends. If Odin was with the Chitauri, then now was the time to tell them how Thor felt about Loki. He could finish this madness once and for all.

He might just slay them all if they refused to leave Loki be.

**AN: Without revealing anything; next chapter might hold some answers… **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Thank you so much for all your reviews! I didn't forget about this story, but I simply didn't have any time to write this chapter. My mom had surgery (she's all right) and I had other things on my mind. But here it is, THE chapter… if you know what I mean **

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 8**

_~ o ~_

_A few weeks earlier on Asgard_

_~ o ~_

Lying on his back – trying to ignore the burning sensation of his chest – Loki contemplated how he had gotten into this position exactly. Where had all this begun? In Jotunheim just before Thor's banishment? During the talk with his so called father about his heritage in the weapon's vault? Maybe he was completely wrong and _maybe_ the fault lay much earlier in his life. Loki would never know. What he did know, was that he had to do something. He couldn't just lay back and wait for the guards to drag him back to his cell.

He simply refused.

Slowly, while groaning as he felt his lungs screaming for more air, he pushed himself up again. He was sure some of his ribs had been bruised or even cracked, but he pushed that thought aside. He was pleased to see that the guards waiting to take him back had not moved. Odin had come closer to him, however, with Gungnir firmly in his hand. It was nice to know that the mighty Allfather was so cautious around him, even now with his magic running almost empty.

"Are you really going to do this?" Loki asked mockingly. All he had to do really, was buy himself time. His magic was growing – albeit slowly – and soon he would be able to transport himself away from this place. He might go to Alfheim for a while. Or perhaps he could go to Jotunheim. There was still much to learn about his true people after all. He shuddered at the idea of his 'true people'.

"End this now, Loki," Odin said in his usual deep, stern voice. His one eye stood dark and his lips were thin and white. He clearly hated the situation. "You cannot escape. You have no magic it seems. Otherwise, you would have long gone."

That was sadly true. "It is your entire fault really," Loki said, straightening his back. In order to face Odin, he wanted to appear tall and broad. "There is just something about you that I want to rebel against. I used to crave your love, but that time is gone."

Odin tightened his grip on the spear.

"It hurts you, doesn't it," Loki continued, knowing he had hit a sore spot, "knowing that you have lost your control over me. You know how much damage I can do to this realm and you know a cell won't ever contain me."

"I do not want to contain you," Odin argued irritably, "I want to help you. You have lost your way, my son, and I merely trying to guide you back towards the light."

"That's just…completely untrue. Do you even believe yourself?" Loki spat. He knew he had wandered off into the dangerous zone of _real conversation_. He was no longer buying time or merely pestering the King. He was actually telling truths. "I know you regret taking me from Jotunheim that day. I am sure you can imagine how delightful your entire life would be right now. I know for a fact that you wouldn't worry about Asgard as much."

"I do worry about this realm, but for different reasons," Odin said, "as I worry about you."

A cunning grin spread across Loki's face when a new thought invaded his mind. "I understand now," he said, his voice low, "you know what to do with me – you have no trouble locking me away – but when Thor will be King…well, we all know how much he _cares_ for me."

Odin said nothing. His face paled.

"Thor will never have the courage or strength to lock me away for the sake of Asgard," Loki continued, enjoying how he had gained control over the conversation again, "when your beloved son is King, I will be free to do what I want. I'll come to Thor when he wants to pass judgment on me for certain crimes, but I'll know just how to play him. I can have him eating out of my hand and you _know_ this."

"Enough!" Odin shouted. "Thor is not King yet and you answer to me."

"But I don't, do I?" Loki's grin only grew. "Because you are as weak and pathetic as Thor is. Like father like son."

Odin fired another bolt of energy at him and Loki couldn't avoid getting hit in time. He wasn't as quick on his feet as he would have liked and he flew back, once again landing harshly on the floor. His head smacked against the cold stones and Loki knew instantly that he was bleeding. A thousand stars played before his eyes, but he ignored them. He had to push through the uncomfortable pains and stand up again. He needed to face Odin or he would appear weak and defeated.

What he had not expected however, was Odin's spear only inches away from his throat.

"You could end it," Loki almost dared his father, "you could just kill me and end all this misery. For one, you'd know the nine realms would be safe from my mischief. Your family would be safe because I won't ever stop. I have tried to kill Thor before and I failed, but I know his weaknesses now and I might just get lucky next time."

Loki wasn't really sure why he wanted to antagonize Odin this much. Buying time was one thing, but Loki was doing something else entirely. Perhaps he needed to vent some emotions. Perhaps he just felt like being cruel. He'd never know.

The only thing he knew at this moment was that Odin had grabbed his shirt with his free hand – Gungnir still against his throat. "What have I done wrong that you ended up so…_wretched_?"

"You should know," Loki said in a hard whisper, his teeth bared and his eyes cold, "you raised me."

"Damn you!" Something snapped within the Allfather at that point. After releasing Loki's shirt, he brought down his fist and beat him. Again. And _again_.

Loki did nothing. There really was nothing he could do. Shock had now taken over his body. He simply hadn't known he could push Odin this far over the edge. He felt his father's hands beat him until he could taste his own blood which had flooded his mouth. A new pain then came to the foreground, something sharp and burning. Loki realized it was Odin's spear that had cut across his right eye.

Something had changed. Loki not only felt pain, but he felt something new as well, something _powerful_. He was smart enough to figure it out within seconds. When Odin's spear had touched his skin, he had absorbed some of its mystical and mythical power. His magic was trying to feed on it, but the touch had been too short.

"Damn you for being my son!" Odin shouted and then he stopped. He reached for his chest and sucked in a deep breath. He stumbled back and for a moment, Loki thought he would fall into the Odinsleep. How convenient that would have been.

It didn't happen, however, but that mattered not. Loki laughed. A high, unnatural and dark _laugh_. Odin's one good eye fell on him, confused and – if Loki was not mistaken – scared. Maybe he was wrong because he only had one eye himself now. The other one was already swollen shut due to the cut.

"What have I done?" Odin whispered to himself. He kept on looking at his son and he was horrified.

Loki moved as quickly as he could while his body screamed at him to stop. Everything ached and he wondered for a short moment how horrible he looked. But he couldn't dwell on that now and Loki forced himself to focus on his new objective. He reached out with his pale and thin hands and grabbed Odin's spear.

During the first few seconds Odin was merely taken aback by his son's strange actions and then his blue eye widened when he realized. He pulled back his spear and instinctively held it out of reach. Loki fell back – not entirely sure why – but he still laughed because he could _feel_ it.

The magic inside of him was _alive_. He pushed himself into a sitting position, gasping for air while his lungs burned, but he didn't bother to speak. In the end, there was nothing left to say. Actions said so much more than words, did they not? Loki connected his gaze with his father for what might be the last time and he inhaled deeply. The moment had grown silent…_dead_. No one dared to move.

Loki reached for his magic and then felt a familiar pull deep within his stomach.

~ o ~

When he opened his eyes after transporting himself away from Asgard, he felt tired. He had been unable to focus on his destiny. Getting beaten this severely had damaged him and Loki would need rest to recover.

But where had he gone?

He allowed his gaze to wander around while he desperately tried to gain control over his breathing. Apparently, he had knocked over a chair while arriving, but Loki paid it no further attention. Then he knew exactly where he was. His mind had not chosen this place consciously and Loki cursed it. In all the nine realms, there was but one place where he could find rest and safety at this point.

Without having known, he had transported himself to Thor's room in Stark's mansion. He sensed his brother's presence here, like he could sense him approaching now. The door to the room swung open and Loki spun around. He shouldn't have done so. He lost his balance and fell to his knees, coughing up blood onto the wooden floor.

Thor was shocked by what he saw. His blue eyes stood wide, a gaze that reminded Loki so much of Odin.

Loki turned his head away when Thor rushed towards him. He reached deep within himself, trying to feel his magic, but he found…barely anything. He panicked when he felt that he had used almost all of his magic to get here. There was not enough power left to heal himself and Loki knew he was at the complete mercy of his brother. He despised it.

"Loki," Thor breathed near his ear. He placed a comforting hand on Loki's back, seemingly unsure what to do. "By the Gods, what has happened to you?"

Loki wanted to answer, but his throat felt too dry. He decided he had to look at Thor, he needed to see what his brother was thinking. What lay in Thor's eyes revealed nothing new. There was mostly horror and concern. Gently, Thor pushed away some of Loki's black hair that had fallen before his injured eye. Thor only swallowed heavily.

More footsteps approach, but Loki couldn't really see who had entered. His one eye couldn't focus anymore and everything became one large blur. He was thankful that he hadn't lost consciousness. All that Loki could see now was a head full of red hair. All that he could hear was a high, female voice.

"Thor, what happened?"

Loki closed his eyes, feeling tired.

Small, soft hands touched his face – probably examining his wounds.

"I don't know, Natasha," Thor replied, his voice surprisingly calm, "he must have transported himself here."

The soft hands disappeared. "I'll get help."

There was movement around him and Loki forced himself to again focus on Thor. There was a chance that Odin would send men after him and Loki didn't want to return to Asgard. He had to tell him! Loki grabbed Thor's arm and forced him to look into his green eye. "Help me," he breathed, only thinking of Odin.

"I will, brother," Thor said soothingly, "but tell me, what happened?"

"Odin," Loki sighed, feeling himself fall towards a darkness, "_Odin_ did this."

A horrified expression crossed Thor's face. His grip on Loki faltered. "That is a lie," he hissed, "father would never do something like…like _this_."

Loki tried to swallow, but the vile taste of blood made his gag. "I'm not lying, I swear."

"No," Thor grabbed both Loki's shoulders and shook him, "I've had enough of your lies, brother. I demand that you tell me the truth!"

Loki could see why Thor didn't want to believe him. He thought his father was a perfect man, one without flaws. One that never lost control over something and one that, whatever happened, would love his sons. Loki was shattering that unrealistic image. "I'm sorry-"

"No!" Thor stood, looking down at his brother. "We shall return to Asgard and I will learn the truth instantly."

Loki was growing more and more desperate. He was going to lose consciousness soon and if Thor wasn't prepared to help him, then Loki was alone. He had no other place to go since he refused to show himself so weak to his allies and foes. Thinking quickly, Loki did the last thing possible. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Thor was furious. "How dare you defile the name of our father, our King and-"

Reaching for Thor's hand, Loki released the last of his remaining magic. It wasn't nearly enough to heal himself, but it was enough for another spell. That spell wasn't easy and Loki had to strain himself to focus. He erased his brother's memories of the last few minutes, hoping that he could tell a lie afterwards; tell Thor it had been the guards or something. He was hoping that when Thor no longer remembered the truth, he would be willing to help him instantly.

The spell went wrong, however. It expanded beyond Loki's control. Thor could feel something was happening to him and he stumbled back. "What are you doing, Loki?" He demanded to know as he reached for his head. He groaned when his mind began to ache. He distanced himself from his brother, but that was pointless. "Tell me what you are doing!"

"I'm sorry," Loki repeated. The last he saw was Thor trying to escape him by leaving the room, but Loki knew his spell had worked to some extent.

He lost consciousness then, not knowing what the situation would be like when he would wake.

**AN: Sooooo… I had a blast writing this, but I'm not entirely sure what to think of it. Odin feels ooc, but he had to be for this to happen. What did you think?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews, guys! They made my day. I forget to say this last time in response to a review: someone thought this might turn out to be Thorki, but I assure you: there is NO slash in here I thought I'd clear that up to avoid any confusion.**

**This is a longer chapter with a lot of talk. I hope it didn't turn out too boring. Let me know what you think of it!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 9**

_~ o ~_

_Present time_

_~ o ~_

When Thor stormed through the halls of the palace towards the throne room, he hadn't expected anyone to stop him. People left him be when he was angry or upset (mostly because he had the tendency to break things with his hammer when that happened), but there was one person that would never be afraid of him.

His mother.

He hadn't even realized she had been running after him until she pulled his arm and forced him to stop. She looked like she always did; beautiful and regal. She wore her favorite golden dress and her hair was pulled back into a firm plaid. It made her look younger, but her eyes still revealed age along with wisdom and, at this time, sadness.

"Thor, you must listen to me."

For a moment, he contemplated on ignoring her. He wanted to pull his arm free and tell her to leave him alone, but this was his _mother_. He could not disrespect her. "I know what you are about to say," he said, "I know the Chitauri are here and the thought alone sickens me."

Frigga's shoulder grew tense. "You must not forget the position your father is in now," she spoke softly, as if she did not want anyone else to hear her even though only a few guards were around, "he has to think of the safety of this realm, as well as of the safety of other worlds. He is already risking much for Loki's sake."

Thor's brow creased into a deep frown. "I thought you of all people would understand why I am so angry."

"I do understand, "Frigga said quickly, "I have talked to your father and reminded him of whom Loki is." Something dark and dangerous flitted through Frigga's eyes – something Thor had never before seen in his mother – and he knew she was remembering something difficult. "He is my son, no matter what he has done. This doesn't mean I approve of what he has done on Earth, but I will not give up on him, Thor."

"Neither will I," Thor assured her, placing a hand on her arm, "neither will I."

"Times are difficult," Frigga sighed, placing her own hand on top of Thor's, "your father has many responsibilities and worries at the moment. And when the Chitauri arrived, demanding Loki to be handed over to them, I feared Odin might actually do it."

Thor nodded. Then it hit him. "_What_?"

Frigga frowned, not understanding Thor's reaction. "What's wrong?"

Thor swallowed heavily, knowing he had to collect his thoughts. When he had found Loki beaten in his room, he hadn't thought of who had done it. Only later had he begin to assume it had been the Chitauri since they had come to earth to claim Loki. It is why he thought his brother had been so afraid. Now none of that made sense.

"Odin never gave Loki to the Chitauri, did he?"

"Of course not," Frigga looked shaken, "I would never let anyone take my son and hand him over to his worst enemy."

"But if the Chitauri didn't-"

"Thor!" It was Sif's voice that interrupted him. She, along with the Warriors Three, had finally caught up with him after he had stormed away from them just moments earlier. They all looked worried, thinking Thor was acting irrational and impulsive. Their concerns were just, but now Thor was strangely calm.

But his mind was racing, trying to make sense of the situation. There was only one conclusion he could reach: Loki had – not surprisingly – lied to him again. Perhaps he hadn't necessarily _lied_, but he'd heard Thor make assumptions and he hadn't bothered to correct him. But why? Why would Loki allow Thor to believe a lie? It made no sense.

"When Loki escaped-" Thor now looked at his friends, knowing he would be able to see in their eyes whether they were speaking the truth or not. He would also be able to see if they were hiding something. "When Loki _escaped_, what happened exactly?"

Sif turned her head so that she could look at both Thor and the Warriors Three. It was an instant sign that she knew something. Thor could see his mother grow tense and he pulled his hand away from her arm. He quickly realized that she knew the truth as well. Thor felt left out. Everyone seemed to _know_ but him.

"I found him bloodied and hurt in my room," he said, looking directly into Frigga's eyes. He was playing it dirty – he was well aware of this – but he wanted answers and he would get them. "He wasn't even conscious at first, but then he woke and you should have seen him, mother, he looked scared. No, he looked absolutely _terrified_."

Frigga dropped her gaze.

"If the Chitauri didn't do that to him, then who did?"

There was a long moment of silence.

"Was it the guards?" Thor was growing agitated. "Did they lay their filthy hands on my brother?"

"He's all right now," Sif said, her voice strong, "that is what matters. He is safe in his cell and no one can harm him."

"Unless father decides that handing him to the Chitauri is the best way to go."

"No," Frigga said, tears in her eyes, "Odin will not hand him over."

"How can you know?" Thor was tired of switching his gaze between his mother and his friends. He was tired of looking at their concealing eyes. "It is no secret that father can be harsh. He banished me only months ago. What if he decides that handing Loki to the Chitauri will teach him a lesson?"

"He won't," Frigga repeated.

"Damn sure he won't," he was surprised by the rudeness in his own voice, "because I'll stop him if I have to. I was unable to protect him before and I refuse to fail again." With those words, he left behind his mother and friends. If they denied him answers, then perhaps Odin could explain all this to him.

~ o ~

Odin wanted to sigh heavily. He wanted to close his eyes and wish it all away. He was not foolish enough to actually do so. In his very long life, he had faced many foes. But his foe was one he had never encountered before. He did not know their weaknesses, but he did know their desires. That should give him an advantage, but Odin simply did not know how to use it.

"Loki is a Prince of Asgard and he has been tried according to the laws of this realm," Odin spoke with dignity and authority in his voice, "I understand your demands and I have considered them, but I cannot give you what you want."

The leader of the Chitauri was unlike the others. Odin had thought they were uncivilized creatures – and most of them were – but not this one. The creature standing before him had nearly transparent skin, a long chin and a thin nose. His eyes were nothing more than two black dots. Odin was also sure he had more intelligence that he let shine.

"The War Criminal has been tried," the voice was hoarse and husky, "but not for the crimes he has committed to my people. He promised us a world we could inhabit, he promised our ally the Tessarect."

"The Tessarect was not his to give away," Odin had been speaking to – what did he call himself again? – The Other for what appeared to be hours and he was growing weary. He knew that no matter how long they discussed this, they would never reach a settlement. "It belongs here where it can be kept safe."

"Safe from us?"

"I did not say that." Odin tightened his grip on Gungnir and stood up from his throne. The Other only eyed him dangerously. He did not look frightened and Odin did not like this at all. There was not a being in the universe that did not fear or respect him. But The Other seemed simply indifferent. Odin, however, was the King of Asgard, ruler and protector of the Nine Realms and he demanded to be respected. He felt pleased to be looking down on The Other. "I cannot accede to your demands," he said, "Loki will remain here, under the guard of Æsir and he _will_ carry out the rest of his punishment."

"Imprisonment here is not severe enough," The Other hissed. Odin had not thought it possible, but those black eyes darkened even more. "I lost hundreds of my people as they fought his battle."

Now Odin did sigh, but he did not drop his shoulders. He made sure he remained tall and impressive. Just as he was about to speak did the doors to the throne room open. Odin was about to let out an angry roar since he had clearly told the guards he did not want to be interrupted, but he decided otherwise when he saw it was Thor.

His eldest son stormed into the room, throwing the door shut behind him. It was characteristic of him, but Odin still disapproved. He was in the middle of a congregate and Thor had no right to barge in like that. Normally, Odin would reprimand him, but not this time. It was clear why Thor was here – for Loki's sake – and Odin actually needed someone else on his youngest son's side. Thor's arrival might finally announce the end of this difficult conversation. Or it might announce the arrival of another war. You could never predict such a thing with Thor's impulsive behavior.

Still, Odin had the difficult task to maintain peace and order. "Thor, now is not the time to intervene."

"I come to speak on Loki's behalf."

Odin had already known this. Thor was one of the few people in this entire universe that he could understand and predict. If only he could do this with his second son. Life would have been much easier. "Then what do you have to say?"

The Other turned to look at Thor expectantly.

"I will not stand by and watch him being handed over to the Chitauri," Thor spoke calmly, yet with a sharp edge to his voice, "he is facing punishment here according to the laws of his sovereign. What punishment would you express?"

The Other folded his hands together. "The punishment for murder is death and Loki is guilty of this. He might not have killed my people with his own hands, but he is directly responsible for their deaths. I understand we cannot sentence an Asgardian Prince to this fate, but I do want him tried on our world none the less. He would be imprisoned for a long time, with little food and water. He would have to work hard."

"And torture?" Odin inquired. Since he knew little of the Chitauri, he was aware that this was his best chance to learn more of these creatures.

The Other smiled crookedly. "We are not primitive people," he said, "we do not torture our prisoners unless they have information we need and Loki has none."

"I see little reason why Loki must be tried on your world," Thor said, his arms crossed over his chest, "whether he is imprisoned here or there makes little difference."

"Of course it does," The Other spat, "he already escaped your cell, Allfather!" The Other looked furious when looking directly at Odin. "That is impressive considering he has no powers, but still ridiculous and unacceptable. Such an event would not occur on my world."

Odin contemplated on The Other's words, but not for long. "I agree with my son," he said, "Loki will not be handed over to you. He will remain under my protection."

"Is that your final decision?"

"Yes."

Odin could see something shift within The Other. "Then you have denied me and my people the right to pass judgment on a War Criminal. That in itself is an act of war."

"If it is war you want, then you shall have it." Odin spoke the words in a sharp tone. He never took a threat of war lightly, certainly not with these creatures. "I have said all I want, this congregate is over."

"So be it."

**AN: So…yay, Odin? He'll never get the 'Dad of the Year'-award, but this might earn him a few good points, right? Also, I tried to portray The Other (and the Chitauri) in a way I hadn't seen before. I hope I managed to make him interesting… Thoughts? **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: 150 reviews! **_**150**_**! I never before had a story that was liked this much! Thank you everyone who left me a review. They are what keep me writing. Seriously, you are all amazing! I'm glad Odin earned some points with some of you. Those that still don't like him very much, I will join your camp :)**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 10**

_~ o ~_

_Present time_

_~ o ~_

Thor was breathing hard. He watched as The Other stalked from the throne room, his black eyes speaking nothing but anger and hatred. Thor couldn't possibly care less. The doors opened and closed again with a loud bang and Thor waited another moment before turning to his father. He pushed all thoughts of The Other away. If the Chitauri wanted war, they would have it. However, war demanded preparation so the young prince knew Asgard had a few days of peace left.

"We must warn the Elders and our army," Odin said. He walked back to his throne and sat down. His shoulders had lost some of their tension. "Our soldiers must be gathered and new weapons need to be forged. You, as my eldest son, must partake in the battle. I do not wish to live another long and exhausting war."

Thor understood that the burden of a new war weighed heavily on Odin, but this was not what Thor wanted to speak about right now. He had come for answers concerning Loki and he would get them. Clearing his throat, took a step closer to his father. He felt uneasy that Odin was looking down at him.

"Thank you for protecting Loki from The Other," Thor began, knowing he had to be careful with this subject, "I dread to think what would have happened if The Other had gotten his way. He speaks of imprisonment without torture, but I do not believe him."

"Loki will remain in his cell," Odin simply stated, "his magic will be erased from his blood. It is a fair and just punishment. I do not wish to see my son tortured either."

"I was confused though," Thor continued, looking directly into his father's blue eyes. Their eyes had always been the same, only Odin's eyes carried wisdom and knowledge. Thor had always wondered whether his eyes would one day have that same depth. "A few days ago, I found Loki badly beaten in my room-" Thor could see his father tense. "-and I had assumed that it was the Chitauri who had hurt him like that. I know now that it is not true. Do you know who hurt Loki?"

Odin inhaled deeply. Gungnir lay firmly in his grasp. "I regret what has happened to him, it was terribly wrong. He was a prisoner and I, as King, have always pledged that any prisoner of Asgard would still be treated with respect and dignity."

That Thor understood, but yet it wasn't a direct answer to his question. "So it has happened here?" He took a step closer to his father, wanting to see every detail of his face. He knew he was not good at reading people – Loki had always been a master at that particular skill – but he liked to believe that he was able to spot a lie in his father's old face.

But Odin remained silent. His gaze bore into Thor's.

"Father?"

"Why does it matter?" Odin seemed to lose patience while speaking to his son. "He is safe again."

"It matters to me!" Thor tightened his grip on Mjolnir. It was an instinctive move.

"Thor…"

"Who beat Loki?"

Again silence.

Then- "Father did."

Thor spun around. It was a voice he had not expected, but was still glad to hear. Thor had not even heard the doors open and close again, but yet there stood Loki with his hands bound before him. It was special rope Odin himself had created to suppress his magic. He looked much better already, yet his right eye still had a thick, reddish scar over it. Thor was sure it would heal completely over time, but Asgardian healers had clearly done their best job so far. There was hardly any sign anymore that Loki had been so badly injured only days ago.

Beside Loki stood their mother. She had her arm draped around Loki shoulders in a protective manner. Her eyes spoke of sadness and regret. When Loki had said those two short words, Frigga had averted her eyes away from her husband.

At the other side of the room, Odin rose from his throne. "Why is he out of his cell?"

"I thought Loki deserved the chance to speak for himself," Frigga replied softly, her eyes on Loki now, "to defend himself against The Other."

Thor wasn't listening to the conversation anymore. His eyes were fixed on Loki who was staring right back at him. Green into blue. Thor could not believe this. He _refused_ to believe this. He spun around to look at his father again. "Is this true?"

Odin sighed.

Thor suddenly grew very aware of himself. He didn't know what to do or say. He didn't know who he should look at. He opted on focusing on his father. Looking at Loki could possibly break his heart because he didn't want to see his brother's smirk when he watched him fall prey to his lies. Why would Loki say such a cruel lie?

"Father, explain this to me."

"It was a difficult day, Thor," Odin said the words almost kindly as if that answer would satisfy his son, "for everyone."

"Now is not the time to discuss this." Frigga tried to steer the conversation away from this topic, but Thor would have none of it.

"You beat Loki? You_ beat_ your own son?" He swore he actually saw his father flinch at those words.

"But you forget, Thor-" Loki pulled himself free from Frigga's grasp and stepped forward. He looked defiantly at Odin. "I am not his son."

"No," Thor said stubbornly, "you most definitely are his son. He just went to war for you!"

"Loki, you will always be our son," Frigga said good naturedly. She stepped forward as well.

"So that is why The Other left so hurriedly," Loki ignored his mother completely and seemed almost amused by it all and Thor wanted to shake some sense into his brother's head, "but are not mistaken, Thor, your father acted out of guilt. Nothing more." Loki was still looking directly at the Allfather. "Is that not the truth?"

"I am sorry, Loki," Odin said with honest remorse in his voice, "my actions were unjustified."

"Perhaps they were," Loki said, his green eyes narrowed, "perhaps they weren't. I did just escape and murdered two guards. I just never knew you carried so much hate within you. Perhaps you and I are more alike than we dare to admit."

Thor was breathing heavily. He still had difficulty wrapping his head around it all. Not in a million years had he expected this outcome. Was Odin truly capable of hurting his own son? Loki had said that he had killed two guards, but was that all? "But why?" He demanded to know.

"Why does it matter," Loki sneered, "it happened, Thor, and you, _you_-"

Loki suddenly sucked in a deep breath, silencing himself.

Thor forgot all about his father at that moment. He turned to Loki, his jaw set in a hard line. "What about me? Why did you come to earth? Why were my memories erased?" He had so many questions and none seemed willing to answer them. It felt like a giant conspiracy and Thor wanted it to end.

Loki's eyes changed into two cold, dark abysses. They held so much – concealed everything that went on in Loki's head at this moment – and Thor was painfully aware that he knew nothing about it. There had been time when they told each other almost everything. They had played together and had laughed together. Now that time was long gone.

"You want to know why?" Loki hissed, his hands becoming fists. "Because you're a naive, ignorant and childish idiot. I came to you for help, I was bleeding and in pain, but when I told you Odin had done that to me, you refused to believe me. You _refused_ to help me."

Thor couldn't believe he would turn Loki away like that.

"So I erased your memories because I was so desperate for your help," Loki continued, "I had nowhere else to go. It was my weakest moment and I assure you, it won't happen again."

Thor could not bear to hear all that hatred in his brother's voice. "Then I am sorry," he said, his voice shaking, "I am sorry for disappointing you. I am your brother and I failed in my most important task. I couldn't protect you."

"How far have we come as a _family_," Loki said slowly, "if my brother couldn't protect me from my father?"

Thor took a step towards Loki. He didn't really know why he did it. Had he intended to give his little brother a hug? A reassuring tap on the shoulder? It mattered not because Loki instantly took a step away from him. Then a new thought crashed into Thor's head that actually hurt him. When he had first found his brother – or so he thought it had been the first time – Loki had flinched away from him. Loki had been scared of him and Thor now understood why.

He and Odin were very much alike; strong, broad and tall with blue eyes. They also shared a short temper. When Loki had opened his eyes that day, he had thought Thor would have hurt him.

"Loki…"

The doors to the room opened again before anyone could react. Thor refused to look away from his brother who seemed to share the same thought. They stared at each other, one with remorse and the other with bitterness.

"My King," said Heimdall's heavy voice, "I come with news for your son."

Thor closed his eyes for a moment, steadying himself by taking in a deep breath. He regretted looking away from Loki, but he had to focus on Heimdall for now. They could continue this conversation later. "Yes, what is it, Heimdall?"

"Midgard is about to be attacked by the Chitauri," Heimdall answered, "the humans are unprepared. I fear the worst."

There was no time to hesitate, but Thor found it difficult to leave Asgard at this moment. His family was falling apart and his realm was preparing for war with the Chitauri as well. Could he truly leave at such a crucial moment to help defend earth?

"I must go to them," he decided, "I must warn them and help them defeat the Chitauri once and for all. Asgard has many great warriors. The Warriors Three and the Lady Sif can lead our men into battle."

"No," Odin said in a definitive voice, "your human allies have proven themselves worthy in battle. They will have to handle the Chitauri themselves. You must stay here and fight this part of the Chitauri-army."

"They would never split up their army," Loki interjected. He suddenly looked half bored and Thor couldn't believe Loki's behavior after all that had just been revealed. He was about to comment on it when Loki continued to speak, "They have great numbers, but their soldiers fall easily. Only together they are a force to be reckoned with. But they would never attack Midgard _and_ Asgard at the same time."

"But they threatened with war against _our_ realm," Thor said, confused, "why then would they attack earth?"

"It is the world I promised them," Loki explained, shrugging as if to show how little he cared, "and they know they have a bigger chance at winning there than at winning here. Asgard's armies are much more formidable."

"It makes no sense," Frigga said, frowning. She placed a hand on Loki's shoulder. "What is the point then of attacking at all?"

"It is part of their plan," Loki said in exasperation, "they attack earth and this time, they know its weaknesses and they know how to attack the Avengers. They stand an actual chance at winning because they aren't ordered to rule the planet, they're ordered to destroy it and that is what they are best at." Loki looked at Thor. His eyes were still cold and when he spoke the next few words, he almost seemed to enjoy the idea. "Earth's destruction will break you and _then_ will they attack this world. Asgard will have lost its best warrior. Your heart will be broken and your mind unfocused. You will be an easy target. Your defeat will destroy your army's spirit."

Thor was unsure how to react. He could feel the gazes of everyone on him, waiting for his reaction.

It was Frigga who spoke first. "How do you know this?" She asked her youngest son. "How can you be sure of this?"

"Because I know _them_," Loki answered and Thor knew he was speaking the truth, "I spent many months with them. Their ally Thanos taught me more about magic and about the secrets of the universe while I planned to attack earth with The Other and the Chitauri. I know how they think, how they strategize. This is their plan, I am certain of it."

Thor nodded before addressing his father, "I must go to earth. The Avengers can beat the Chitauri-army again and for good this time. I can help them and if I manage to succeed, Asgard will be safe."

Odin contemplated Thor's words. "Very well. I trust that you will succeed at this task. You have never before failed me."

"And Loki shall come with me," Thor added almost as an afterthought. He was still looking at his father. "He knows much about the Chitauri and that knowledge will be useful. Together, we are stronger. Release him from those chains, father, release his magic."

Loki walked towards Thor. "That is very considerate of you, Thor," he smirked wickedly, "but I prefer to stay in my little cell."

Thor's mouth opened, but he was lost for words. He had thought Loki would be grateful. Apparently, his confusion amused Loki.

"I have done enough for Asgard," Loki explained bitterly, "I saved it from your idiotic rule when you were still an impulsive and reckless fool. I tried to rid it from it most dangerous enemy, my own kin, and I was tossed into an abyss. I just gave you every bit of information I have to win a battle you would have otherwise lost. What more do you expect of me?"

Thor was still lost for words.

"No matter what I do," Loki spoke the next words carefully, "I will never be able to redeem myself in your eyes or in the eyes of your father. But here is what matters most; I do not _want_ to redeem myself. What I have done, I have done because I believed it was just." He turned to his mother, not caring to hear a response. "Will you escort me back to my cell, mother?"

Frigga had tears in her eyes, but she nodded. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Then let us leave." Loki's voice was cold and strained. At that moment Thor knew that Loki was as hurt by all this as much as he was. "I wish to rest. I am tired."

Still, it pained Thor most of all to see his brother walk away from him.

**AN: I had fun writing this. What did you think of it? Any and all feedback is welcome :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: This turned out to be a long chapter, but I'm not sorry. I just wrote what came to me and this is the result. If you prefer shorter chapters, then let me know. Anyway, I want to thank everyone who reviewed, added this to their alerts and made this a favorite. You guys seemed to really enjoy 'my' Loki, his thought process and character-development. This is the biggest compliment one can get. Writing Loki is not easy, but I'm so glad that I'm doing a good job with it. **

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 11**

_~ o ~_

_Present time_

_~ o ~_

As soon as the doors closed behind Loki, he could feel a heavy weight lift from his chest. He felt as if he could breathe properly again. There was no doubt Frigga was looking at him with deep concern in her kind eyes, but Loki ignored that. He had enough concerns to deal with of his own. For example, he had never thought he would actually have such a conversation with Thor again. It had almost been…decent.

But finally the truth was known and Loki was glad for it. Too long Thor had thought his father was almighty and invincible. It had been about time that he learned the truth about who his father truly was: a man with flaws just like every other being in this universe.

With Frigga at his side, having an arm around his arm, Loki walked back towards his cell. There were two guards walking behind them.

"I haven't been completely honest," Loki said softly so that only his mother could hear, "when I said I didn't want to redeem myself in Thor's and Odin's eyes, I was speaking the truth, but I left out an important part."

Frigga frowned.

"I care about what you think of me, mother," he sighed. He knew he was letting down his shield, that he was showing a part of his soul he normally closed off for every living being. But this was Frigga and Loki knew she was the only person in the nine realms that would not use his vulnerability in any way.

They turned left and walked through a sunlit corridor. Loki had forgotten that it was late spring and the warmth of the sun made his skin tingle uncomfortably. He had always felt better during winter.

"You have done some terrible things," Frigga said pensively, "but as your mother I can forgive you. That is _if_ you turn away from your old ways. Forget vengeance and bitterness."

Loki wished he could. "I'm afraid I cannot."

Frigga came to a halt and forced Loki to face her fully. She looked sad. "I would have done so many things differently if I had known this would happen. I would have loved you more. I would have told you the truth from the beginning."

"Don't you dare," Loki whispered harshly. He was faintly aware that the two guards could hear them now. "Don't you dare take the blame. This is not your fault."

"Odin wasn't the only one who raised you, love," Frigga replied emotionally.

"You know me better than anyone," Loki said, placing his bound hands in those of his mother. He squeezed them gently while offering his mother his most sincere smile. "You know I can never be confined to a cell."

"I know," Frigga confirmed, "you're a force of nature, Loki, wild, untamable and unpredictable."

"Then you know I must do this."

"Yes."

Loki let go of his mother, already missing her warm touch. It was funny how he found the warmth of the sun irritable on his skin, but the warmth of his mother pleasant. He pushed that thought away and swiftly turned around to punch the closest guard in the face. The guard stumbled back, covering his already bleeding nose with his hands. Loki seized the opportunity to steal the guard's dagger that was tucked away in his golden belt.

This transpired within two seconds. The second guard did not even have the time to reach for his own dagger or sword. Loki quickly threw the stolen dagger and hit the second guard in the shoulder. Loki felt he should be applauded for avoiding killing the guards this time. His plan was about to fail when the first guard – only having a broken nose – jumped at him from behind, but Loki had always been known throughout the realm for his lightness and swiftness. He darted aside and punched the guard again. Blood spilled over his hand and Loki disliked the warm and wet feeling.

This is why he preferred throwing daggers instead of actually stabbing someone. He watched, slightly out of breath, as the guard fell down.

Loki calmly walked to where the second guard was laying unconsciously. He pulled the dagger from his shoulder and cut the ropes that bound his hands. Any other person would have had trouble doing this, but Loki had always been handy with knives.

He dropped the knife and turned to look at his mother who stood with her back pressed against the wall. She didn't look scarred. She had simply wanted to put herself out of harm's way. When their gazes connected, Loki almost expected his mother to smile. She did not.

"Be careful," she said quietly.

"This isn't goodbye."

"Of course it isn't." Frigga hurried forward and embraced her youngest son tightly. "Stay out of trouble." Her eyes held a twinkle of fondness in them. She placed a quick kiss on Loki's cheek and then let go of him. "Now run before you get caught."

And Loki did just that. He ran.

_~ o ~_

Thor and Heimdall walked silently through the halls of the palace. Soon, they found themselves outside and walking across the bridge. Not a word was spoken. Heimdall had never been a talkative person and Thor had too many troubles resting uneasily in his head. The vision of Loki turning his back to him and walking away did not leave him.

They reached the Bifrost in a matter of minutes and Thor could not help but be in awe of it. As a child, he had found it ordinary and little admirable. It had simply been their mode of transportation like the train or bus was the Midgardians' mode of transportation. But now, seeing it again after it had been destroyed months ago, he was in awe of it. He knew he had taken it for granted before and he would not make that mistake again.

"Send me to Midgard, Heimdall," Thor said, standing before the center of the device.

Heimdall stepped forward and placed his long sword in the heart of the half magical, half mechanical device. "Be careful of the Chitauri-army, my Prince, they have grown both in strength and in number." He twisted the sword and Thor could feel the familiar pull in his stomach as he found himself transported through space.

The first thing Thor grew aware of was the change of warmth playing on his skin. The Midgardian sun gave less warmth than the Asgardian sun. When he opened his eyes, he knew exactly where he was and Thor was surprised that he was not staring at a dozen guns that the mortals had created as their weapons. The grass underneath him had turned black, having died due to the power of the Bifrost.

Thor could not help but think that the last time he stood here, Loki had been leaning on him while badly injured. He quickly shook that thought away from him. Perhaps it had been for the best that Loki had decided to stay behind. Thor walked across the small patch of green grass and entered SHIELD's headquarters.

At that point, he _was_ met by a dozen of SHIELD's best agents, all dressed in black. They all had a gun pointed at him and Thor raised his arms as if to show that he meant them no harm. Dropping his hammer would add strength to that message, but Thor was not in the right mood. He had little time to loose.

"I come with grave news," he said, not knowing who was in charge of the men before him.

Two of the dozen men lowered their guns and stepped aside. Natasha stepped forward while she put her own gun back in its holster. She raised one eyebrow. "I didn't expect to see you so soon again."

"I am sorry for my sudden departure earlier," Thor apologized, "but I had no other choice."

Natasha only eyed Thor dangerously. He wondered what it would be like if he would fight this mortal woman. Then he thought of Sif. They were much alike: both fierce and loyal. It was no wonder Natasha enforced so much respect with everyone she encountered.

"You left us when Earth's was being threatened," Natasha said with a sharpness to her voice, "_and_ you took away our only leverage we had at point."

"I had to think of Loki's safety first."

"That's something we don't have to deal with," Natasha replied coldly, "Loki's safety is not our concern. Earth's safety is and you jeopardized just that. Luckily, it ended well."

Thor cringed at the words. "I'm afraid I have bed news then," he said, "the Chitauri are planning an attack on this planet." He left out the part of _why_ they wanted to attack Earth. At least he would leave it out for as long as a dozen guns were pointed at him.

Natasha's eyes narrowed. "_No_," she drew out the word, "they left."

"I am sorry," Thor said, "but it seems the Avengers will have to fight another battle against the Chitauri."

There was a short silence before Natasha nodded curtly. "Follow me."

The two of them walked down a long hallway, made a few turns and ended up standing in the main room. It was filled with SHIELD agents and Tony and Steve were present as well. Computers monitored all activity in orbit of this planet, but nothing seemed suspicious enough to warrant an alarm.

"Look who turned up!" Tony said happily. His smile was a genuine one, but Thor knew that he could not trust Tony completely. Tony and Loki were much alike on certain aspects of their personalities. They were both masters at disguising their true emotions. Tony might be smiling now, but Thor knew he could be boiling with anger on the inside.

"Thor claims the Chitauri are about to attack us," Natasha explained, ignoring Tony's comment.

Fury turned away from his monitors and let his gaze rest heavily on Thor. "I did not think you would return so quickly," he said in his usual authoritative voice. Thor had heard that before. "You say the Chitauri are planning an attack? Why is there nothing on my screens indicating this?"

Thor stepped forward. He knew he had betrayed his friends' trust, but he was headstrong about earning it back. He cared deeply for the Avengers – and for this world – and he was prepared to go far to defend it. He just hadn't been prepared to hand over Loki to achieve that. He was not sorry about it.

"They have learned much about this world since their first attack," he explained, desperately hoping that Loki had not been lying about this, "they know your weaknesses and your best defenses."

"Can't we just tell them we no longer have Loki?" Steve suggested. "It's what they demanded of us. We made it clear we don't have him and they retreated, but if they think-"

"This is no longer about Loki," Thor interjected the Captain. That was a grave lie. This had everything to do with his brother. If his father had decided to hand him over to The Other, then none of this would be happening. Again, this was a minor detail Thor wasn't not obliged to share. Not _yet_ anyway.

"You must trust me, friends," Thor said with a grave and serious voice, "the Chitauri are out there and they are just waiting for the right time. They will attack and they will try to destroy this world. However, this is the city where they lost their first battle. They'll try and demolish this place first as to show that they have grown stronger."

Fury seemed to weigh Thor's words carefully. "I believe you," he said, "let's prepare for battle."

_~ o ~_

Loki inhaled deeply. He welcomed the fresh air that invaded his lunges. It had been a while since he had felt this strong and he supposed he owed it all to Odin. The King had ordered his best healers to patch him up. Last time Loki had regained his magic, he had needed it to keep himself conscious and to transport himself to Midgard. Now, with the healers having taken care of him, his magic had the chance to regain its full strength.

It was only a matter of time before Loki would be back to his old self. Escaping the palace had not been difficult since Loki had grown up there. He knew its secrets halls and pathways. He knew exactly where to go to avoid getting caught by guards. Moving around outside the palace had proven to be more difficult. He made sure the Æsir paid him little attention and Loki managed to get outside of the city within the hour.

It would have all been so much simpler if he could have transported away from this place, but his magic was not strong enough yet. It would have been foolish to tap into that power when he didn't really need it. After all, this wasn't the first time he'd slipped away from the city without being detected. He had done it a million times already when he'd been a child trying to avoid punishment when one of his elaborate tricks and schemes had gone wrong.

However, Loki felt restless. He should feel pleased that he was free – completely and absolutely free - but there was one thought that kept nagging at him. The Other was still out there, wanting vengeance for a broken promise. Loki had sworn to give The Other a new world to inhabit (alongside the mortals) and now he would not rest before he had Loki's head on a pike.

Loki felt he needed to do something about that. He had many enemies, but for some reason this one unnerved him. The Other was strong and perhaps Loki simply realized that he could actually be in mortal danger if he ever came face to face with him. Was there any way to solve this? Loki thought about it deeply while he distanced himself even further from the city. He didn't know how much times passed, but he found that the sun was beginning to set.

Then it hit him. Loki knew it was the only way. If he was to fight The Other one day, then it should be on _his_ terms. He should be the one pulling the strings, he should be the one deciding when and where.

A strange sensation crept up his spine and flowed across his legs and arms. Loki came to a halt. He raised his hands and stared at them in the dim light. His skin _glowed_. It lasted all but five seconds before it vanished again, but Loki knew what it meant. His magic was back, completely and at its full power.

Perhaps now was the time to make an end to it. For once and for all.

_~ o ~_

Thor felt unsettled. It had been hours since he had announced to his friends that the Chitauri were coming, but nothing had happened so far. He was beginning to feel like a complete fool. It seemed Loki had tricked him for the millionth time in his life. Even Heimdall, who had first announced the Chitauri were coming to Earth, had been tricked somehow. It was beyond Thor why he still believed Loki's words. He was tempted to return to Asgard and demand the truth from his brother, but he knew it would be useless. Loki would only laugh in his face, calling him an idiot for falling for his lies.

"Here you are." It was Steve who entered the room. He walked closer to Thor and stared out of the window as well. It gave them a clear view of New York which was slowly preparing for the night. The sun was starting to set over the horizon and the sky had turned darkish blue. "Fury wants to see you."

Thor could already guess what about. "I truly thought they would attack," he sighed.

Steve bit down on his lip before replying, carefully weighing his words, "Loki can never really be trusted, Thor. I know he is your brother, but I think it's time for you to accept that he kinda lives up to his name. He is the God of Lies."

Thor exhaled slowly. "I shall go to Fury, but then I must return to Asgard. Loki lured me here so that my own realm was left defenseless." He knew Asgard would never truly be defenseless as long as Sif and the Warriors Three were there. Even the Asgardian army was impressive. Still, Asgard was without its best warrior. "I can only hope the Chitauri have not attacked my world yet. Heimdall would be fighting and he would be unable to bring me back home."

"I wish I could help," Steve said kindly.

An idea came to Thor then. "You _can_ help." He turned to look at the Captain, his eyes wide with hope. "You and the rest of the Avengers can come with me to Asgard and fight the Chitauri, side by side."

Steve smiled faintly. "I would be honored, but I don't think Fury would let us go. We're Earth's primary defense. We can't risk leaving it undefended."

Thor's mood instantly dropped below freezing point. "You're right," he muttered, "of course you're right."

"Come on," Steve said, "let's just get to Fury."

There were halfway there when the first alarm sounded. Thor and Steve came to a halt and exchanged meaningful glances. They were thinking the same. Another alarm sounded, this time a high pitched ringing that hurt Thor's ears. People started running and shouting, all as quickly as possible trying to reach their battle stations.

Thor and Steve began to run as well and after ten seconds, they reached the main room. Fury stood at his usual place, barking orders and loading a gun at the same time. Maria Hill was typing away on some screen while the rest of the Avengers arrived as well.

"Fury, what's going on?" Tony asked. Bruce Banner entered behind him.

"It's the Chitauri," Fury said angrily, "they're attacking."

Thor knew that now was not the time, but he smiled. He actually _smiled_ because as Loki had not lied after all.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: So this turned out to be one monster of a chapter. Again, I could have split it in two, but I felt it worked better like this. Prepare yourself for an action-chapter and please, **_**please**_** let me know what you thought of it. I have never been good at writing big action-scenes… **

**Thank you so much for all your reviews! They are what inspire me always. Maralexa wondered if Heimdall wouldn't have seen Loki escape last chapter, but I just assume that he was too busy talking with Thor and sending him back to earth. ****Is that a****satisfying****answer?**

**And if you want to find out what Loki decided to do, then read on and find out :)  
**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 12**

_~ o ~_

_Present time_

_~ o ~_

_BAM_!

The sound of the Chitauri-weapon against the Captain's shield was deafening. Thor swirled around to see if his friend was still standing, but Steve was holding fine on his own. For now at least, Thor thought. He had to admit that Loki was right. The Chitauri were more fierce this time around. They cared little for their surroundings and Thor dreaded to see the humans of this planet getting hurt.

Buildings were being torn down and people – men, women and children - were running and shouting through the streets. It was chaos. Thor couldn't help thinking that Loki would marvel at the sight. His brother had always felt better when the situation was uncontrolled. But Thor also firmly believed that Loki would never intentionally start such a mess.

"Watch out!" It was no doubt meant as a shout, but Steve's voice barely came above all the noise.

Thor knew what his friend was referring to. Three more enemies tried to approach them from behind, but Thor quickly faced them and sent Mjolnir their way. The hammer knocked them aside, killing them instantly. The problem wasn't really fighting them, it was that more kept coming at them. Whenever you killed three, six more seemed to replace them. Such was the case now.

The Chitauri attacked him all at once and Thor felt a fist – hard as a rock – hit him in the face. A thousand stars momentarily danced before his eyes, but he knew he had no time to shake them away. He managed to hit one Chitauri-soldiers in the chest while the others were still all over him. The weight was slowly pushing him to the ground.

"Captain!" Thor shouted. His voice did manage to come above the noise. Steve was at his side in an instant, knocking away Chitauri-soldiers with his fists and shield. Thor threw the rest off of his back. He killed them with his hammer.

His gaze was drawn to the sky then where Iron Man flew by. Energy shot from his iron hands, blasting the Chitauri away. Thor wished he could say it made a difference, but more and more simply flooded the street. Thor dreaded to think how other parts of the city were currently looking. Entire blocks were probable destroyed by now.

"Where is Black Widow?" Steve asked.

Thor moved his gaze away from Iron Man. The Hulk was currently smashing Chitauri-soldiers together at the other end of the street. His roars were what caused the most noise. Thor let his gaze slide further away. Natasha and Fury were shooting at every enemy that moved, but the Chitauri were starting to close in on them as well. Somewhere on top of a building – Thor couldn't see exactly where – stood Hawkeye who was taking down soldiers from his _nest_. All around Natasha and Fury lay dead Chitauri with arrows sticking out of their bodies.

"We're losing," Steve breathed, picking up his shield as he'd used it to knock out a Chitauri-soldier.

Thor nodded, swallowing heavily. His grip on Mjolnir tightened. "But I am not giving up," he said persistently, "we managed to defeat them before. We can do it again."

"Yeah, only-" came Tony's voice from above them, "there was a wormhole then. I managed to close that and in a lucky twist of fate, the Chitauri died. This time, they're coming from those spaceships." As if to add power to his message, Tony shot a frustrated beam of energy into the sky. It hit one of the ships, but seemed to bounce right off.

There was not a chance that they would manage to destroy all of the spaceships. For one, Thor had no idea how many there were. He counted the visible ones; five ships were currently flying in the sky. He was certain there were more floating around just above the planet's atmosphere. Two: the exterior of those spaceships was almost indestructible. The mortals were already attacking it with their best weapons, but it was pointless so far.

"There must be something we can do," Steve said almost hopelessly. He had to turn around to fight two Chitauri-soldiers. One of them hit him in the stomach and Steve groaned painfully.

Thor wanted to run to his aid, but he witnessed seven soldiers coming his way and he had to prepare for battle himself. Two of those seven deflected to his left and began attacking the Captain as well. Thor focused on the five remaining and knocked them away with his hammer. Once he had dealt with them, more came at him.

"This is not good," Steve shouted, using his shield to push away the Chitauri-soldiers, "we're getting overrun here!"

"Stark?" Thor looked at the sky, but the Iron Man had gone to aid Black Widow and Fury. He and Steve were on their own again. Then one of the ships landed and a few moments later, hundreds more Chitauri-soldiers streamed out like ants. Thor turned around to face Steve, his eyes betraying his desperation. "We're in trouble."

~ o ~

The place Loki had teleported to was dark and musty. His eyes needed a moment to adjust, but Loki quickly realized where he was. He'd been here before, months ago. The spaceships of the Chitauri were not known for their hygiene. Carefully, he walked across the narrow pathway where he had appeared.

Teleportation was not simple. It required focus and incredible amounts of magic. For a moment, Loki feared he had used all of his power again, but he was relieved to find that he still had juice in his tank. He had focused on The Other and if he'd teleported to this place, then that meant The Other was around somewhere.

When he walked across a corridor – cautious for any Chitauri-warrior – he began to hear loud noises. It took him a moment to understand what those noises meant. They came from outside the ship. People were fighting outside and Loki realized that the Chitauri were currently attacking earth. That meant Thor was out there somewhere, trying to protect this planet.

Loki turned his attention away from Thor and the fight. He was here for one reason; finding The Other and killing him. It wouldn't be an easy task, but Loki was certain he could succeed. Footsteps approached him and he quickly darted aside, hiding in a dark corner of the ship. Four heavily armed Chitauri-warriors marched by him. Loki knew they were about to join the fight.

As soon as the footsteps had faded, he continued his search for The Other. All the time, he kept wishing he still had his scepter. He didn't know where the weapon was currently. Perhaps it was on Midgard, examined by the scientist within the Avengers. Perhaps it was already on Asgard, safely locked away in the weapon's vault. Loki made a mental note to himself to search and reclaim his weapon.

More footsteps approached, softer this time. He heard perhaps two pair of feet stamping on the metal-like floor. Two Chitauri-warriors would be easily subdued and Loki knew he had no other choice but to attack them. Magic was a great weapon, but actually having a sword or something along those lines might be useful. He hid himself again, but when the two Chitauri walked by, Loki reappeared behind them. The two warriors barely registered his presence before Loki used a simply spell to knock them unconscious.

The weapon used by the Chitauri were long, thin energy rifles. Bayonets were attached to the end which could be used to defend yourself against physically close enemies. It was an easily used weapon - even the humans managed to! - and Loki picked one up which the left warrior had been carrying.

Having armed himself, Loki continued with his search for The Other. He managed to evade twelve more Chitauri-warriors while skulking around the ship before he sensed The Other's near presence. He was close now and Loki prepared himself for a fight.

~ o ~

The Avengers had gathered in the middle of the street. They stood back to back, fighting off the Chitauri to the best of their abilities. At least, most of them stood back to back. Thor didn't know where the Hulk was, but he knew the beast was smashing Chitauri-soldiers together somewhere. At times, he could even hear him roar. Iron Man was shooting pure, raw energy at the Chitauri, blasting them apart. Captain America was knocking them down with his bare hands, using his shield to protect himself as well as to hit enemies in the face. Black Widow and Fury were shooting anything that moved, each time hitting the enemy straight in the head. Hawkeye had come down from his roof as well and kept the Chitauri at a distance using his arrows and a scarily good aim.

And Thor used his hammer to knock anything away that even tried to approach them. The tactic worked for a while and the Chitauri were dying quickly, but that didn't solve the other problem. The spaceships made sure that there was a constant flow of new Chitauri-soldiers. No matter how many Thor killed, more still came at him.

The battle was going on for hours now and the Avengers grew tired. Apart from Thor and the Hulk, they were all human and they were all reaching their breaking point.

"How is SHIELD doing on destroying those ships?" Iron Man asked Fury who was in constant contact with headquarters. Coulson was currently organizing every attack made on the spaceships.

"They're not getting the results they were hoping for," Fury shouted so that his voice would come above all the noise. "More missiles are coming."

"That's not gonna help," Hawkeye said, using an arrow to actually stab an enemy in the throat. He then proceeded to place that arrow in his bow and fired it to kill another enemy. His movements were swift, yet he was beginning to slow down due to fatigue.

"Do you have a better idea?" Iron Man asked. It was one of those rare times where Tony was being dead serious. There lay not a hint of amusement in his voice.

There came no response. More Chitauri closed in on them and the Avengers had no time to discuss battle plans. They were too busy trying to survive. Thor raised his hammer and summoned lightening from the sky. That managed to knock out a dozen Chitauri-soldiers, but again, more just took their places.

"Watch out!" Steve suddenly yelled.

Thor spun around just in time to see Black Widow taking an awful blow to her chest. She flew back, hitting the pavement a few yards away. Her head smacked against the asphalt. She didn't move.

"_No_!" Hawkeye cried and he rushed to her side. As soon as he tried to cradle her head in his lap, he found his hands red with her blood. "Oh God," he breathed, "Tasha?"

Thor – as well as everyone else – wished he could go to her and help, but that was impossible. They needed to keep the Chitauri at bay or they would be overrun in a matter of seconds.

"Stark," Fury barked, anger in his voice since he nearly lost one of his best agents, "can you fly her to safety?"

"Yeah, no problem!" Iron Man rushed to Black Widow's side and picked her up. With Hawkeye's help, he managed to lay her over his shoulder. Not five seconds later they had disappeared from view. Thor could see that Hawkeye had found new energy after this. Anger fueled him and arrows shot from his bow at a new quickened pace.

"If those ships aren't destroyed any time soon," Steve said, gasping for air as he fought three Chitauri-soldiers, "we're lost."

No one replied. They all knew Steve was right.

~ o ~

Loki should have known that this is where he would find The Other. The main control room of the ship was grand with machines and control panels everywhere. There were no windows, but artificial light was coming from somewhere. Loki didn't bother to see where it was coming from exactly. He only had eye for his enemy number one.

Besides The Other, there were at least two dozen Chitauri-soldiers present. Loki knew he stood a chance fighting them, but he'd rather not. He could get injured – in the worst case scenario, he could die – and that would hinder him in his battle with The Other. A plan started to form in his mind and Loki knew he only had one chance at this.

Inhaling deeply, he steadied himself. He would need swiftness, velocity and, most of all, focus. Loki tightened his grip on the rifle and calmed himself. His heart was beating at a regular pace and his breathing was controlled and even. Now was the time.

_Now or never._

Loki ran forward, surprising the Chitauri. He paid them no attention. As soon as he got to The Other, he grabbed him and teleported them away from the control room. Loki had spent a few days on Midgard when he'd tried to subjugate the planet, but there was one place he was more familiar with than he liked to admit.

He teleported them to the platform on top of Stark Tower, making sure that they landed on the _actual_ platform. It would be a shame if he miscalculated and they ended up in the sky. It would be brilliant if The Other met his death on the pavement below them, but Loki rather liked living and he wasn't planning on falling to his death just yet.

As soon as their feet touched the ground beneath them, The Other pulled himself free from Loki's grasp. Loki made sure that he never took his eye away from him while the rifle still lay firmly in his hand. He was ready for this fight.

"Well," The Other said, carefully weighing down each word, "I thought I had to conquer Asgard to get to you, but it seems you just made the mistake of falling right in my lap."

"Not a mistake," Loki replied, making sure he was ready for any attack. The battle below them was fierce. Loki simply knew that many casualties were bound to fall. This time, however, he could not be blamed. "You have no one here to defend you."

The Other smiled. "Loki, you know I don't need anyone to defend me."

Loki realized that The Other was currently without weapon. If any time was the time to strike, it was now. However, Loki was not an idiot and he knew The Other didn't really need a weapon to fight. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought of the painful touch The Other had once given him.

There was a moment of dead silence and then The Other surged forward. Loki blocked the attack with his rifle and in return hit The Other in the face. He managed to cut The Other, a the gash now starting underneath his black eye and ending just above his thin lips. The Other was furious, but showed no signs of pain. Instead, he shot a bolt of energy towards Loki which hit him in the shoulders.

Loki stumbled back, but managed to stay standing. He aimed his rifle at The Other and fired. The energy coming from the weapon was surprisingly powerful and when it hit The Other in his abdomen, a soft groan escaped The Other's lips. Loki tried to hit him again, but this time The Other managed to dart aside. More energy bolts came Loki's way and it was difficult to avoid them all.

He decided to use his oldest and most beloved trick.

A dozen replicas appeared out of thin air and Loki quickly took a position between them. The Other roared with annoyance. The replicas were perfect and there was no way to tell which one was the real Loki. The Other fired more bolts of energy, each of them phasing through the replicas. In the meantime, real Loki tried to get as close as he could to the The Other. When he found himself close enough, he jumped forward and planted the bayonet of the rifle deep inside The Other's shoulder.

The Other cried out and knocked Loki away from him. Loki fell back and lost his balance. The Other was much stronger than an ordinary Chitauri-warrior and Loki found himself without breath. He gasped and coughed, trying to roll away from his enemy. However, The Other managed to hit him in the back with another energy bolt.

_This is not good_, Loki thought, _not good at all!_

The Other stepped forward, his left arm hanging awkwardly besides his body due to the stab wound to his shoulder. Loki tried to push himself up, but he found The Other's foot on his chest, pushing him back down. "You made a mistake, Loki, you should never have come to me."

Loki wished he still had the rifle in his hand, but at least The Other could never take his magic away. He thought of a quick spell and sent fire towards The Other's face. The foot quickly disappeared from his chest and Loki quickly scrambled away. He tried to reach for the rifle which lay a few feet away from him, but then The Other used the one power Loki dreaded most.

The Other placed a hand over his left ear and sent surges of excruciating pain throughout his body. Loki screamed. His entire body tensed. He waited for the pain to end, but that did not happen. Seconds turned into minutes. Those minutes felt like hours.

When The Other finally withdrew his hand, it left Loki gasping for air, his knees pulled up to his chest. He was faintly aware of how ridiculously weak he appeared, but Loki could not move. The pain was still reverberating through his body and mind. His eyes seemed unable to focus on anything, but he could hear The Other's voice clearly.

"I told your father," The Other said slowly and virulently, "that we, the Chitauri, do not torture our prisoners, except if they have information we need. I told Odin you had none. I lied." The Other came a little closer to Loki's face. "Your head is filled with little secrets. You will make our attack on Asgard ever so easy. You will tell us everything about your home world; its defenses, its weaknesses. _Everything_."

More pain then invaded Loki's body.

He screamed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Thank you so much for all of your reviews. I wasn't sure about the last chapter, but you guys convinced me that I did a good job. Writing action has never been my strong suit. I'm better at writing dialogue. That's my opinion at least. So again, thanks for all the feedback!**

**This is another big chapter and I would love to get some feedback on it as well. It wasn't easy to write this and keep Loki IC. I hope I succeeded!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 13**

The entire throne chamber was quiet. No one spoke and tears were only flowing silently. No one dared to make a noise. Loki didn't dare to either. He merely allowed his gaze to slide across the room. The first person he saw was his mother. Her cheeks were wet with tears and her eyes were bloodshot and tired. Her normally collected composure had been shattered. Loki had never his mother so distressed and pained before. He wanted to comfort her, but he _couldn't_.

Odin was kneeling, his head bowed and his back arched. He was no longer the wise, powerful King. He had been reduced to nothing more than an old man whose hands were tied before him in a humiliating way. It was a sad vision and Loki couldn't bear it. He quickly looked away, swallowing down his own panic and distress.

The next person he saw was Thor. The once golden Prince of Asgard looked thin and battered. His hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes spoke of nothing more than defeat. His hands were tied before him as well and he too was kneeling.

In fact, _everyone_ was kneeling. Every Asgardian currently present in the throne room looked beaten and hurt. Their eyes betrayed the faintest hint of anger, but mostly spoke of fear. The Warriors Three had been bound (like everyone else in the room) and deep cuts ran along their arms and legs. Loki could tell they had fought bravely in some battle, but eventually they had been forced to surrender. Sif – as always - looked fierce and furious when looking at Loki. Yet, there lay _more_ in her eyes. She looked almost guilty, as if thinking '_I should have known you would do this to us_'.

Loki's breath was taken away by it all. He wanted to stumble back until he realized that he was seated. He was sitting on Odin's throne, Gungnir in his hand.

Everyone kneeling before him.

At that moment Loki knew that Asgard was his. He was the victor here. _He_ was King.

It couldn't be true.

It _wasn't_ true.

"Is this what you desire?" The voice of The Other made him turn his head. The leader of the Chitauri stood behind the throne, looking down at all the many Asgardians gazing up at him in despair. "The throne is yours, Loki, as is this entire realm. Both Odin and Thor are kneeling at your feet."

Loki was unsure why, but he felt sick. His breathing quickened and he lost his grip on Gungnir. It fell to the ground with a shrill sound which echoed painfully through the room. Loki wanted to rise from the throne, but The Other's hand quickly pushed him back down.

"You wanted a Kingdom," he whispered in a hard voice, "you wanted Midgard. I can give Asgard as well."

There lay surprise and confusion in his voice. "Why?"

"Help me conquer the universe," The Other said smoothly, "and I will give you Midgard and Asgard."

"You mean help _Thanos_ conquer the universe?"

A deep, dangerous laugh escaped The Other's throat. It sounded like a filthy gurgle. "He is prepared to give you another chance, Loki," he said, still looking down at the kneeling Asgardians, "there need not be any torture. Just give me the information I want and I shall defeat Asgard's army for you. The realm will be yours. _This_ will be yours."

Loki looked at his father again who still did not look up. Was Odin ashamed that he'd been defeated? Was he ashamed to look at his youngest son who had stolen his throne? Was it both? All that Loki knew was that this picture was _wrong_. He didn't want to conquer Asgard, he didn't want the throne! At least not like this. Loki could not bear to see his mother cry. If he accepted The Other's help, then he would forever be in his debt. Loki was not the kind of person that liked to be in someone's debt.

He kept reminding himself that he could not show weakness right now. He could not show that he felt torn by his mother's tears, he could not show that seeing Thor kneel before him made him feel uneasy. He simply could not show any sign of weakness and sentiment in this case.

"What say you?" The Other asked.

Loki averted his gaze. "No."

His surroundings vanished instantly and Loki found himself laying on a hard surface again, his hands bound. Gone was the throne, gone was the image of his family. He kept telling himself that he'd made the right decision, but he wasn't sure whether he was telling the truth or lying to himself. Either way, he knew he was in deep trouble. He looked up and gazed straight into The Other's cold, calculated eyes.

"If you will not cooperate willingly," he spat, "then I shall have to _make_ you cooperate."

~ o ~

Thor opened his hand, his fingers spread wide. Small drops of blood covered his skin. The thundered didn't even know whose blood it was. It might be his. It might belong to one of his friends or it could just be the blood of the Chitauri. Either way, it mattered not. Thor kept his hand open and two seconds later, Mjolnir flew towards him. There was no time to hesitate and he knocked aside three more Chitauri-soldiers.

The ships above them were still providing a constant flow of soldiers. There was not a place in New York where the aliens were not present. Thor dreaded to think how many innocents had already died by their hands. It made him angry, but at this moment, his anger meant very little.

The sound of the approaching Iron Man could be heard a short distance away. Thor raised his gaze expectantly. Tony had gone off to bring Natasha to safety after she had taken a bad hit from a Chitauri weapon. Thor fervently hoped that she would be all right, but he knew Natasha was a fighter.

Iron Man finally came into view and Thor smiled weakly. He was relieved that Tony Stark was back, helping them defeat as many Chitauri as possible.

"Thor?" Tony's voice sounded exhausted and uncertain.

He smashed another three Chitauri to pieces. "What is it?"

Iron Man landed beside him and blasted most of their enemies apart. That would buy them a few seconds before more Chitauri came for them. "I thought you said Loki was still on Asgard?"

Thor turned to face Iron Man. Blood was racing through his veins and his breathing was irregular. The toll of battle began to weigh on him so he couldn't begin to imagine how tired the other Avengers were. He blinked sweat from his eyes. "He is," he replied.

"No, he isn't," Iron Man countered, "I just saw him."

"_What_?" Thor was unsure of what exactly he was hearing. Last time he saw his brother, he watched him walk away from him. Then Thor had been forced to leave Asgard. In fact, he could not be certain Loki ever reached his cell. But why? _Why_ would Loki be on earth? He feared to think that Loki had joined the Chitauri and The Other in order to erase the debt he owned them.

"He was on top of my tower," Iron Man explained, "hauled away by a bunch of Chitauri. He looked bad, Thor, _really_ bad."

Thor tightened his grip on his hammer while his mind was racing to find the right solution. Loki had probably tried to fight The Other. He knew how much Loki hated being on someone's death list. It wasn't that his brother had no enemies, but this case was different.

"Where is he now?" he asked.

"He was brought onto a smaller ship," Iron Man said, "he's probably on one of those by now." Iron Man looked up to the sky where five different gigantic spaceships flew. "You know we can't afford to lose this battle, Thor," he added, "this is our city, our _world_ that's on stake here."

"I didn't expect you to come," Thor sighed.

Captain America joined them, breathing heavily and looking pained while he held a hand over his left side. He might be the super soldier, but in the end he was still human. They had been fighting all night against a force that seems invincible at the time. He had missed the first part of the conversation. "Come where?"

"My brother is up there," Thor explained, already feeling guilty for leaving his friends and comrades behind, "I'm sorry, but I must find him."

"You're leaving us?" The Captain sounded shocked.

"He's my family," Thor replied softly, still looking up at the many ships, "if I don't help him, then no one will." He lowered his gaze and found disappointment in his friends' eyes.

"I get that," Iron Man argued, "but you can't get on one of those ships, Thor. Coulson is doing everything within his power to destroy those and you know he'll succeed eventually. He is a very stubborn man in the end. I don't want to see you get blown to bits."

Thor shifted his gaze between Iron Man and the Captain. "If I do nothing, then Loki will die up there. I will not leave him so I am prepared to take that risk."

"You'll be alone," Steve sighed, dropping his hand from his side, "you'll have no back-up."

"I know."

"And you probably have an hour or so to find and rescue Loki," Iron Man added, "by then SHIELD will have bombed the ships enough times to actually destroy them." As if on cue, more missiles hit the spacecrafts, causing balls of fire to erupt in the sky. The heat could be felt all the way to the ground. A tremor shifted through the air. "Like I said; maybe one hour."

Thor clenched his teeth.

"Good luck," the Captain said.

"And the same to you," Thor replied.

~ o ~

There was a surprise moment of clarity. Loki had not thought it possible, but he knew exactly where he was, who was with him and what was happening. Or about to happen. Perhaps it was because The Other hadn't really tortured him yet, but Loki felt strong and if anything then The Other should have known that his mind was Loki's strongest weapon.

He watched how The Other brought down his hand in order to inflict pain onto him.

As if instinctively, Loki slapped The Other's hand aside and rolled off of the cold, hard table he'd been laying on. He could hear The Other's aggressive growl, but Loki knew he couldn't hesitate now. He ran from the room – knowing that he was already being followed by a dozen Chitauri-warriors – but he didn't look back.

"Bring him back to me!" The Other shouted.

For a short moment, Loki contemplated on leaving this place. He wanted to teleport back to Asgard or some other place where he would be safe, but then he realized; there was not a place in the universe where he could be safe. If he didn't finish it now, he would be running for who knows how long! Loki turned left and hid in a small, dark corner of the corridor. The Chitauri walked straight by without noticing him.

They truly were not the most intelligent beings around.

Loki inhaled deeply, steadying himself. He needed to think of a plan before attacking The Other again. His previous attempt had failed and he wasn't in the mood to feel that excruciating pain again. He supposed he had to feel lucky to have escaped a full-blown torture session. The first thing he needed was some sort of weapon. Magic alone wouldn't help him defeat The Other. The rifles belonging to the Chitauri were useful, but they weren't exactly lethal to The Other either.

Cursing under his breath, Loki forced himself to think outside of the box. His thoughts were soon distracted when he heard The Other's threatening voice.

"I know you are still here, Loki Laufeyson, I can sense you."

Loki forced himself to stay quiet. He watched The Other walking into the corridor, slowly and cautious. His black eyes scanned the entire area, but Loki was pretty certain none could see him right now. However, this was The Other. He wasn't as foolish as the Chitauri. There was a reason he was their leader after all.

"I do not understand why you protect this realm," The Other continued to speak, knowing that Loki could hear him. He took small steps, a long, thin spear in his hands. It reminded Loki of the scepter he had been given months ago and he knew that this spear was as powerful. If only he could get his hands on it. "I do not understand why you protect Asgard. The humans care nothing for you, nor do the Æsir. Your own family cares nothing for you."

Loki swallowed heavily. He knew The Other's words were true, but that didn't mean they didn't cut his heart when he actually heard them. It was all a painful reminder of the bitter reality Loki lived in. Indeed, he had no one. Yes, he had people he could sometimes count on, but there was not one soul in this entire universe that would lay down his life for him.

Thor had dozens. Sif would probably jump into a barrel of boiling oil in order to save him. It disgusted Loki and he felt anger rise in his chest. He had but one person that would never betray him; himself. He had to look out for himself, _protect_ himself because no one else would. Then why was he protecting Asgard in return?

This was a terrible idea, Loki _knew _this, but he could not help it. He stepped away from the dark corner and into the filthy yellow light. The Other stopped dead in his tracks and his gaze fell on him. None smiled victoriously. There was only a short, heavy silence.

"I'm not protecting this world," Loki said finally, "your army is destroying one of its greatest cities at this very moment and frankly, I'm not very bothered by it."

"I see," The Other said, his hand clenched around his spear, "you merely tried to save your own skin. They do say that the attack is the best defense."

"I am trying to survive," Loki said through his clenched teeth, not looking away from The Other's black eyes, "I am sure you can understand that."

"Yes," The Other replied, "but then why are you protecting Asgard? All this is unnecessary, Loki. Give us the information we want and you are a free man. They care nothing for you, they only_ pretend_."

Loki looked at The Other stiffly. It upset him that he knew so much about him. "I know," he said, pained, "they try to keep me close. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Odin knows how much damage I can cause to his realm and this – _this_ right here is why he tried to keep me on Asgard."

"You live to defy your father." A faint smile curved the edges of his thin mouth upwards. "Has he not lied to you your entire life? He promised you a throne, but then went on to give it to Thor, the reckless and arrogant son."

Loki knew exactly what The Other was doing. He himself had told the Chitauri leader this. He was regretting that.

"You were dangling over an abyss," The Other continued, "desperately holding on for dear life, but not once did he try to stop you from letting go."

Loki averted his eyes.

"Do you not think that Odin was praying for you to fall?" The Other began to walk forward again, slowly, but confidently. "Do you not think that he secretly wished you had died that day?"

He didn't know when it had happened, but Loki felt tears sting his eyes. He quickly blinked them away. "Thor said they mourned." He didn't even know why he said that.

The Other raised his eyebrows. "And you believe him. No, you _want_ to believe him. Tell me, Loki, what happened when Asgard learned you were still alive?"

Loki looked up again, unsure of what The Other was trying to achieve. A small voice in the back of his head told him to attack. It told him not to listen to The Other's poisonous words. He was as good at manipulating people as Loki was. However, Loki could not stop himself from answering The Other's question.

"They sent Thor to stop me."

"Yes," The Other said almost kindly, "to stop you from making this world better. They sent your brother to bring you back to Asgard. Odin wouldn't have been waiting for you, not with open arms. The Æsir know what you are; you are unpredictable so when you did finally return to your home, the Allfather locked you in a cell, but he is still surprised you manage to escape."

Loki was unable to say anything. He could only listen to The Other's cruel truth.

"And when that happened," The Other stood almost directly before Loki, "he grew so angry he beat you half to death."

His green eyes widened. He had not told him this so how did he know?

"I've seen what is on your mind," The Other explained, reading the question in Loki's stunned eyes, "when I showed you what I could give you, I saw everything that has happened to you. Odin beat you with his own bare hands and then tried to cover it up. When you returned to Asgard afterwards, he even threw you right back into a cell."

The Other began to circle around Loki whose mind was racing with all these new thoughts. There barely seemed any hostility left between the two. There was still a very potent tension in the air, but Loki had pushed all thoughts of attacking away.

"So I'll ask you again. Why in all the heavens are you still protecting Asgard?"

"I…" Loki took in a deep breath. His throat suddenly felt very dry. "I don't know."

The Other smiled victoriously.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Waw, just…waw. I was overwhelmed by the response I got to the previous chapter. Seriously, I was cheering and jumping up and down! They made my day so thank you so much! As a reward, I bring you the newest chapter. I had a blast writing this and I hope you will all enjoy reading it. **

**In response to a few reviews: I realize that Coulson is supposed to be…well…you know. Sorry, I can't actually say it (or in this case write it) because then it would be actually true. So Coulson lives in my stories because he's awesome. I'm also sorry that last chapter caused some confusion. The first scene happened entirely in Loki's head. Thor never left earth and the Avengers are still battling Chitauri on the surface! To noukinav018****, I used an idea of yours so thanks for that!**

**Now read on and enjoy! Oh, and thanks a million times again for all the feedback! Aaargh, it was awesome!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 14**

Steve wasn't sure when it had happened exactly. One moment he had been fighting six Chitauri-warriors and the next, he'd found himself surrounded by half an army. He had gotten separated from Iron Man and Steve quickly searched the skies for his ally. He could not find him, however, and he felt dread climb up his spine as he understood he would have to face this small army on his own.

He started by blocking attacks with the use of his shield. He hit one of the Chitauri in the face, spun around and kicked another one. Then he saw, from the corner of his eyes, how another Chitauri was hit by an arrow. Steve felt instantly better when knowing that Hawkeye had his back. Steve again turned to the skies to find this comrade, but he found nothing. Then he remembered that the archer was no longer on top of a building to cover them. Clint had come down.

Another four Chitauri jumped Steve who needed to use all of his strength to get them of his back. More arrows whizzed past his head and Clint suddenly stood beside him. They began to fight the mass, back to back, but they both knew they were greatly outnumbered.

"Where are the others?" Steve shouted over his shoulder. He used his shield to knock away two Chitauri-soldiers and then used his fist to fight off a third one.

"They are just around the corner," Clint replied, almost completely out of breath, "they needed to defend three dozen civilians who had to find shelter."

"At this point-" Steve ducked in order to avoid getting a hit to the head, "_we_ need shelter!"

More and more Chitauri-warriors began to attack them. Steve made a somersault and then planted his foot in the side of an enemy. He kicked and boxed and hit anything that came near him, but when another four Chitauri jumped him, he was forced to drop his shield. He felt fists hitting his face. His entire vision turned black and then he dropped down.

"Captain!" Clint yelled. However, the archer had no time nor options to reach his friend. He, too, was attacked by too many Chitauri. They grabbed his arms and twisted them in painful angles. Clint cried out and was forced to let go of his bow. He received a blow to the head and instantly fell a few drops of blood trickling down his left temple.

At that moment, Clint blacked out. Steve was down as well and three Chitauri-warriors made sure he stayed down. The Captain felt how his hands were pulled behind his back and bound. Then he got another blow to the head and he lost consciousness.

~ o ~

Loki was staring at his hands; his long fingers, his ivory skin, his thin wrists. There was no sign that only days ago, it had looked ashen grey with cuts and bruises. There was not a sign whatsoever that he had been badly beaten by his own father. When he closed his eyes, he remembered seeing the horrified and denying expression on Thor's face when he had learned the truth for the first time. Loki had told him what had happened, but his words had been taken for lies. He had gone to his brother for help and he had almost not received it.

Sentiment.

The mere word alone made Loki snarl. He would not make the mistake again. He would not go to Thor even if his life depended on it!

He carefully rubbed his index finger across a thin, red scar that still covered his right eye. It was the only reminder of what had happened to him. Asgard's best healers had tried to remove all traces of the vicious attack, but this had been impossible to erase. It was where Odin's spear had cut him. Loki had to admit that he was not entirely blameless. He had murdered two guards (who had treated him very poorly, if he might add) and he had antagonized the King (but again, he had only used words so had he deserved getting beaten in return?).

Still Loki doubted if he had made the right decision right here and now. He pondered and pondered, but in the end, he simply found himself lost in his own thoughts. He was started to think that no decision he made would be a good one.

"You made the right decision."

Loki had been so deep in thought that he had forgotten that The Other was with him. He let his gaze fall upon the Chitauri-lead and all but suppressed a heavy sigh. Instead, he made sure that he kept his back straight, his chin high and his movements under control. Now was _not_ the time to start shaking.

He hated it how The Other had been able to read his thoughts by simply _looking_ at his face.

"I know," Loki replied evenly. He was surprised by the lack of emotion in his own voice.

"The battle for Midgard will soon be over, humanity's heroes will fall eventually," The Other announced, "then we can focus on more important business and discuss our new plans. With your help, Asgard will fall as easily as this doomed planet."

Loki smiled. He knew it was a convincing, award-worthy smile, but on the inside he doubted. He was prepared to do much in order to avoid a torture session by The Other's hand, but he wasn't sure just how far he was willing to go. Yes, he'd wanted to subjugate earth only months ago, but now he was starting to change his mind. Like Tony Stark had said before; there was no scenario where he would come out on top. Sure, they could defeat earth's defenses and mightiest heroes, but Loki would never truly rule this planet. People would always stand up to him.

Then there was Asgard. If they had luck on their side, they had indeed a chance to conquer the almighty realm of the Gods. But that remained one big 'if'. Loki recalled the vision The Other had shown him. That scene of the whole of Asgard kneeling before him would be their best case scenario, but then Loki remembered his crying mother and he did not want that.

Frigga's voice sounded ever so clearly in his head. '_Stay out of trouble_.' He could even see her stand before him as if she was actually there. He could see her fondness for him, her compassion. Loki was sure that this is not what she wanted so yet again he had disappointed her. It was the story of his life really.

It broke his heart to think this and Loki felt his chest sputter as he began to have difficulty breathing. He turned away from The Other and said, "I am in need of air."

Without waiting, he left the control room. As soon as those doors closed behind him, he felt a weight fall off his shoulders. There might still be four Chitauri-warriors escorting him (The Other didn't take any chance with Loki this time), but he didn't bother to put on a front for them. He inhaled deeply and steadied himself.

Then he began to walk, not really knowing where he was going. He felt the Chitauri's looming presence and contemplated on escaping them, but he decided against it. For one, The Other would not appreciate it. If Loki tried any funny business, then he was in for some extreme torture. So he continued to walk while listening to the loud bangs coming from outside. It was clear that they were still trying to destroy these ships.

It wasn't until he reached a more remote part of the ship that he stopped dead in his tracks. He heard voices; _familiar_ voices and Loki couldn't help but listen in to the conversation.

"I just don't get it." Loki had spent enough time with Hawkeye to recognize his voice anywhere. "Why would they _capture_ us and not kill us like a normal enemy would do?"

The second voice was more difficult for Loki to place, but he knew it was one of the Avengers. He closed his eyes and tried to recall the man behind the voice and suddenly he felt himself in Stuttgart again, the Captain standing tall before him. He was surprised that the man had been caught by the Chitauri. Wasn't he normally called the super soldier? _Pathetic_.

"I guess they're not a normal enemy," the Captain replied.

Loki carefully crept closer as to not alert the two Avengers of his presence. He only hoped the Chitauri wouldn't give him away, but the aliens kept their distance as well.

"Oh crap!" Hawkeye suddenly exclaimed.

"What?"

"I think I know what's going on here," Hawkeye said with a half-annoyed voice, "we're bait."

There was a short silence. Loki wasn't sure what was happening, but he hoped that Hawkeye would care to explain his thoughts. He didn't understand why the archer would think them to be bait, but apparently Steve couldn't follow the logic either.

"Think about it," Hawkeye explained, "the Chitauri are hoping that the other Avengers will come and rescue us. For one, they'll be walking into a trap. Two, that would mean there is less resistance down on the surface which would make it an easy victory."

"Yeah, that doesn't sound good," the Captain sighed, "and I'm also pretty sure that the Chitauri are hoping that the attacks on these spaceships will be temporarily halted. At least for as long as we are on it."

"So now we're not only bait," Hawkeye sounded sour, "we're leverage as well!"

Loki wasn't sure what to think of this. In essence, it was a very smart plan. Did it have any chance of succeeding? Loki wasn't sure. These were the Avengers and they were not to be underestimated. However, most of them were mere mortals and could easily die. Though Loki had more doubts about his personal position in this battle. He wasn't sure whether to feel pleased that two of the Avengers had been captured or whether to feel concerned.

He just wasn't sure _what_ to feel right now. It was all very confusing. Weeks ago, he would have cheered and celebrated that two Avengers had been caught. He wouldn't have hesitated to kill them.

But now… Now what exactly?

Loki turned around, ready to walk away when he heard the next part of the conversation.

"But we have one advantage the Chitauri don't know of," the Captain said.

The God of Mischief pricked up his ears. He was very curious to find out what they were talking about.

"And that is?" Hawkeye asked.

"Thor."

Loki was already losing interest in the conversation rapidly. He truly wasn't in the mood to hear of his brother's heroic acts.

"He's already skulking around here," the Captain said next, "looking for Loki. He wants to save him from the Chitauri and we both know how stubborn he is. He will not give up on his brother so if we're lucky, Thor finds us as well in the process."

"Oh yeah," Clint sounded almost pleased, "I hadn't thought of that."

Loki stumbled back. What the _hell_ was he supposed to make of _that_? How did Thor even know he was here? In the end, it didn't matter. All that was important to Loki was that Thor was looking for him. Could it be that his brother had abandoned his friends for his sake? Could it be that Thor was risking his life and this planet for him? Why else would he leave the battle to – as the Captain had said it – skulk around these ships?

All the questions overwhelmed Loki and he needed answers. He impulsively strode forward, walking into the Captain's and Hawkeye's view. He found the two avengers bound by their hands and feet. They were sitting in a small, dark cell and Loki knew there was no escaping from this. He clenched the metal bars of the cell door between his hands.

"Loki!" Hawkeye looked surprised and shocked.

"What did you mean?" The God of Mischief demanded. He was completely aware that he sounded distressed and emotional, but times were rough and he honestly couldn't be bothered with putting up a façade.

It was the Captain that responded. "What are you talking about?"

"Thor is looking for me, you said it. Why is he looking for me?"

The Captain and Hawkeye exchanged a careful glance.

"Iron Man saw you being hauled away by the Chitauri and he told your brother," the Captain said, "Thor didn't hesitate. As soon as he knew you were in trouble, he came looking for you. He wants to save you."

"But apparently you don't need saving," Hawkeye added darkly.

The Captain shot his fellow Avenger a warningly glare. Then he returned to look at Loki. "We would have stopped him if we could, but he was very adamant. I know you're very skeptical at everything we tell you, but you must believe me when I say that I've never seen Thor so concerned before. He cares deeply for you, Loki, even after…"

"Even after I tried to rule the world he loves so much?" Loki completed the Captain's sentence. He watched the super soldier nod. So apparently, Thor had risked everything to come and look for him. Could it be that he still had a few people in the nine realms he could count on in the end? Could he trust in his brother?

"So…why are you here?" Hawkeye asked after a short silence.

Loki didn't know why, but he suddenly turned very defensive. "I didn't have a choice," he spat, releasing the metal bars that separated him from the two Avengers, "I could ally myself with The Other again or I could find myself tortured and still give him what he wants. I chose the easy path."

He wasn't met with disdainful words or expressions. In fact, both the Captain and Hawkeye kept their gazes even. Loki wasn't sure what the two mortal superheroes were thinking at the moment.

"Well, to me-" the Captain said, "-it looks like you're still a prisoner."

Loki glanced over his shoulder and found the four Chitauri-warriors standing uncomfortably close. He hadn't noticed them stepping closer and he realized that he might be stepping across some boundaries here. These Chitauri would, without doubt, report everything back to The Other. That meant Loki was screwed unless…

…unless he played this cleverly.

"And so are you," he told the Captain, still sounding distant and defensive, "so I am sure you would try anything to get out of the situation. I am a master at manipulation so I know when someone is trying to do the same to me." He painfully remembered his previous talk with The Other. He had been aware that he was being played, but he hadn't been able to stop himself from walking right into the trap. He would not be fooled again. "Don't count on Thor too much," he continued, "I'm sure to tell The Other of my brother's threatening presence and he will be caught."

Hawkeye looked horrified. "_What_?"

Loki conjured his most devilish smile. Mischief lay in his eyes like a sparkle igniting him. He had newfound energy. "You truly didn't think I would care about Thor, did you? I am at The Other's mercy and I am not planning on scorning him."

"You are wretched!" Hawkeye sneered.

Loki held his smile in place. "I know."

He walked away from the small cell, leaving two perplexed Avengers behind. Loki kept his hands into fists and forced himself to focus. The plan was ready in his head, but the execution had to be perfect. He would only have one shot at this. If he failed, the entire Chitauri-army would be out for his head. If he was unsuccessful, then The Other would have a field day with him!

Just before they reached the corridor, Loki spun around and lifted his hands. The spell was difficult and required much magic, but Loki knew he could pull it off. Fire blasted from the tips of his fingers and he aimed it directly at the four Chitauri. They cried out in agony, but Loki only intensified the heat. After a few seconds, the four of them fell down. Dead.

That was not a spell he could pull off again.

Without any doubt, he reached for the Chitauri's weapons. He took a rifle and found four hidden daggers. Those were his favorite weapons and Loki felt lucky. He carefully put them away and then raced back the cell. The Captain and Hawkeye were standing now, having heard the screams of the Chitauri and feeling threatened by the new event. Loki wasn't sure whether they looked relieved or frightened when he appeared before their cell again.

"So…" Hawkeye said slowly, "are you here to kill us or to help us escape?"

Loki grinned. This time it was sincere, without any darkness or villainy. "I'm here to help you escape."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: I could only stare at my mailbox with an open mouth when I saw how many people reviewed. I feel like no 'thank you' or no amount of gratitude is enough here. Seriously, you guys are awesome. Thank you so much for giving me this much feedback! It helps me make this story better so don't hesitate to drop me a quick message **

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 15**

Getting the cell open was easy. Loki just had to use the rifle he had stolen from the dead Chitauri and blast away at the otherwise very resilient lock. Then more footsteps sounded in the distance and Loki knew that more Chitauri were coming their way. They had probably heard the screaming of their comrades, but that was to be expected of course.

Loki quickly tossed one his stolen daggers to the Captain so that he could cut his and Hawkeye's restraints and turned back to look at the end of the hall. The footsteps were drawing closer, growing louder and louder until it sounded like drums. A lot of drums. Then the first Chitauri-warriors appeared and Loki threw a dagger into his direction. It ended up piercing his heart.

Two daggers remained and Loki wished he could have had more. He cast a quick spell, one of his favorites, and hoped that the Chitauri weren't as smart as The Other. As four more enemies came rushing into the hall, they came to a quick halt and frowned. Then they charged at a projection of Loki and all fell down, falling over each other's feet. It was an amusing sight, though not for the Chitauri. The fake Loki vanished into thin air and the Chitauri roared with anger.

Finally, the Captain and Hawkeye exited the cell, their hands and feet freed of any restrains. The Captain handed Loki back the dagger.

"What took you so long?" Loki snapped, knowing that there was no time left.

Hawkeye looked like he wanted to make a snide remark in return, but Loki didn't allow him. He pushed the two Avengers into the direction he wanted to take before spinning around and throwing another dagger at the nearest Chitauri-warrior. Three more kept running towards them. Loki supposed he was lucky they didn't carry any rifles.

He, together with the Captain and Hawkeye, ran to the other end of the hall and made a left turn. Loki turned back and raised his own rifle. With one well-aimed shot, he made the passage collapse. At least they wouldn't have to worry about any attacks coming from that side.

"You have to get off this ship," Loki said, looking intently at the two Avengers, "the battle on the surface is nearing its end and you will not be victorious."

The Captain sighed heavily. "There are just too many of these aliens," he argued, "no matter how many we kill, more come at us."

"If you, of all people on this earth, give up," Loki said gravely, only having eyes for the Captain right now, "then everything is lost. The people will lose faith and the Chitauri win. They'll destroy everything and they'll kill everyone."

"Why do you care?" Hawkeye asked harshly. He narrowed his eyes when Loki's gaze landed on him. "You tried to kill us all only months ago. You tried to subjugate or planet and now you're saving it? Why?"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "You really think now is the time to discuss this?"

Hawkeye crossed his arms before his chest. "I think it is," he said flatly.

"I agree with Loki here-" the Captain tried to say more, but Hawkeye refused to listen.

"I want to know."

"I'm just in it for myself," Loki explained grudgingly. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure that no enemies were sneaking up on them. "The truth is that I don't care about you, your friends or this damned planet. All I know is that for as long as the Chitauri and The Other are out there, I will be running. There won't be a place in the nine realms where I'll be safe."

Hawkeye looked strangely content. It was as if he had just been proven right.

Loki was starting to feel judged and belittled. He greatly disliked it and he started to greatly dislike the archer. He liked him better when he had his loyalty. The man was far more compliant and much less obnoxious.

"So I want to help you win this battle so why do my intentions so important?"

"It makes it clear we have to watch our back when you're around," Hawkeye said.

"I just helped you escape!" Loki didn't know why he was losing his temper so easily. Perhaps it was because he was arguing with a petty mortal while they were on enemy territory. "What more do want from me?"

"Guys!" The Captain demanded both their attention as he looked to be boiling. "We have _got_ to get out of here, preferably alive. So settle your difference another time, okay?"

Hawkeye nodded respectfully while Loki only snarled. He pushed past the two Avengers and continued to guide them through the gigantic ship. There were Chitauri everywhere and Loki knew they could never fight them off, not even with the help of two so-called superheroes. So he mostly hid in shadows whenever enemies came close or he used his two remaining daggers to kill them. He even found another four daggers as he searched the corpses of his victims.

He gave one dagger to Hawkeye and another to the Captain. For a moment, he expected the archer to instantly stab him with it in his neck or something. He could swear he actually saw an idea like that cross Hawkeye's mind. But the three of them set on, each time one step ahead of the Chitauri.

Then finally came the moment that there was no place to hide and they found themselves surrounded by a perhaps two dozen Chitauri-soldiers. Hawkeye and the Captain went to stand back to back while Loki just faced them head on. The tension in the air rose, but Loki remained calm and tightened his hold on the rifle. He knew they were outnumbered and outgunned.

"The Other is not pleased," one the Chitauri said, looking directly at the trickster, "he will not have mercy."

Loki grinned devilishly. "Your leader should learn when to trust someone or not. He is rather naïve when it comes to that."

"You mock," the same Chitauri-warrior said, "you only have your words. We will cut out your tongue."

"I also have this," Loki retorted and he blasted the Chitauri-warrior away with his rifle. It was the beginning of another battle, one that could possibly end in death. Loki was not looking forward to it. He wasn't like Thor. He didn't long for blood, battle and glory. He much preferred to stay in the shadows and pull the strings of those that did. It is how he had manipulated his brother into going to Jotunheim against Odin's will all that time ago.

Four Chitauri charged at him at the same time, but Loki darted aside and used the bayonet of the rifle to cut them all down. Then he continued to fire the weapon at another three Chitauri. He swirled around to see the two Avengers holding their ground with the use of one simple dagger. It was almost admirable, but then he witnessed how Hawkeye was forced to release the weapon.

Loki quickly threw one of his own daggers at the Chitauri that were about to kill the archer. It gave Hawkeye the chance to get a new dagger and charge at the enemies again. Loki - knowing full well how much Hawkeye hated that he'd been saved by him - called out, "You're welcome!"

In response, Hawkeye murmured something under his breath. It definitely wasn't a 'thank you'.

More Chitauri came at them and Loki blasted most of them away. He threw another dagger at a vastly approaching enemy and then felt a fiery bolt of energy hit him on the shoulder. Loki gasped for air as pain invaded his body. Spinning around on his heels, he fired his rifle at the enemy that had hit him. Another bolt of energy hit him at that point, this time striking him down all together.

He had been hit in the chest and Loki had difficulty breathing. He could taste smoke and he felt nauseous. Somehow, all sound was starting to soften around him and Loki was beginning to think that he was dying. He lost his strength and dropped his rifle. Another bolt of energy hit his side. Again, he cried out. In the corner of his eyes, he witnessed the Chitauri swarming around the two Avengers, overrunning them.

Then, out of nowhere, something whizzed above Loki and punched aside the three Chitauri-warriors that were circling him. Loki blinked, but had difficulty focusing. A new voice sounded loud and rough, but Loki couldn't believe he was actually relieved to hear it again.

"Get away from my brother," Thor commanded and then sent his hammer flying through the air again. This time, it knocked aside six Chitauri-warriors while the rest looked simply stunned by the new appearance. Thor grabbed the opportunity and killed another four.

Loki inhaled deeply and steadied himself. He pushed himself into a sitting position and glanced down at his chest. There was a whole in his armor of which the edges still smoked. The armor on his side and shoulder looked black and felt incredibly hot. Loki had no choice but to use magic and heal himself.

"Are you all right?" Thor came kneeling down beside him and placed a hand on his good shoulder. "The Chitauri are gone for now, but there are bound to be more coming this way."

Loki shrugged off Thor's hand and finished the spell. He knew he was using a lot of magic and he already started to feel tired. It was a sign that his magic still wasn't what it was supposed to be. He had spent a lot of time in Odin's magic-proof cell and Loki could only hope that in the end, all would be normal again. Then he reprimanded himself for using that fire-spell earlier. He should have killed those four Chitauri-warriors with his bare hands.

"I'm fine, Thor," Loki said harshly. He didn't want his brother's pity. He did however take his hand and allow Thor to pull him back onto his feet. It had been a simple gesture and Loki had allowed it. "We should indeed get out of here because we can't fight off another swarm of those monsters. Not here, not on their ground."

"I'm glad you found us, Thor," the Captain smiled, "Loki here helped us escape from our cell after we'd been captured."

Thor turned back to Loki, his eyes with joy and expectations. Loki simply had to crush that. "Don't think too much of it," he mumbled as he started walking away from the hallway, "I'm just in it for me."

Thor rolled his eyes. "Of course you are." It was clear that he didn't believe Loki's statement.

"You three should get off this ship," Loki said without much emotion to his voice. He was starting to feel uncomfortable. It had been a while since he had been in Thor's presence while fighting a common enemy. The last thing he wanted was for Thor to think that Loki had turned away from his old ways. But somehow, Loki didn't just want to tell his brother that they were still enemies. "There is still a battle going on down below."

"And where are you going?" Thor asked.

"I have unfinished business with The Other," Loki said, "if I can get him to fight me, then I stand a chance at winning."

"Do you?" Thor sounded extremely skeptical. "Last time didn't end so well, did it?"

Loki waved away Thor's comment. "Now I am prepared. I know how The Other will try and fight me."

Thor seemed to understand that he wouldn't be able to change Loki's mind. "Fine," he said calmly, "but I am coming with you."

Loki came to a sudden halt and spun around. "I don't need your help or your protection! I can do this on my own."

"Maybe," Thor remained calm, "but if we fight The Other together, then our chances of victory greatly increase. Even you, with your strategic brain, must understand that."

Loki narrowed his eyes. Did Thor just sound sarcastic? Was he making fun of him? Loki turned defensive and that meant he also became cruel. "You don't have your brother back, Thor, you'll never have him back. You lost me the moment I fell into that abyss. You might have saved me from those Chitauri back there, but that means nothing. It doesn't change how I feel. I despise you, brother, with all my heart."

The reaction Loki had expected didn't come. Instead, Thor smiled. He actually _smiled_.

"You called me brother again," Thor said blissful.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Grr."

~ o ~

Iron Man groaned when he noticed he only had 14 percent power left. He wished Thor was here so that he could zap him with some lightening. That would increase his power levels to new extraordinary heights, but it seemed Tony was on his own this time. He was flying through the air, shooting at every ugly alien that moved below him, while he tried to find the Captain and Hawkeye.

He was beginning to feel worried about them. He hadn't seen them in over an hour and he dreaded to think the worst. No, he told himself, they are _not_ dead. Steve had survived years on ice as a Capsicle. Surely a few Chitauri wouldn't be his undoing? Maybe 'a few' was saying it too mildly. And Clint had survived serving under Loki who was a full-time diva. If he managed to survive that, he should manage to survive this.

Still, Tony thought, he should face reality. They were fighting for hours now and casualties were to be expected. He just wished it wouldn't be on their side. Natasha was already out and Thor had gone off to find his brother. Now Hawkeye and the Captain were missing. That did not bode them well.

A deafening rumble suddenly sounded overhead. For a moment, Tony expected the ships to explode, but that wasn't the case. Then he searched the sky for Thor who might have used his hammer to summon a little lightening, but that wasn't the case either. Instead, Tony found himself gaping at a dark, ominous looking cloud. Fire and lightening came from it and then a large beam shot down, all the way to the surface of the earth.

Tony had never seen anything like it before. Then he began to think it was another weapon of the Chitauri, but the beam vanished after only three seconds. It had left something behind, however, and Tony couldn't believe it. He cheered. He cheered loudly and shot a beam of energy into the sky. He quickly regretted it when JARVIS told him he only had 12 percent power left.

Below on the surface stood an entire army of Æsir-warriors, all heavily armed and fully prepared for war. Tony watched, stunned, as the new army surged forward and began to attack every Chitauri that crossed their path. The Æsir charged through the streets and the noise of screams, firing rifles and clashing swords was deafening.

Still, luck might just have turned their way.

~ o ~

In one of the five ships floating just above earth' surface, The Other was cursing. He looked absolutely infuriated and he gritted his teeth together. His black eyes turned even darker. They became small, poisonous pits of anger, hatred and determination. He turned to look at one of his commanding Chitauri-warriors.

"The Æsir have come to this planet's aid," he sneered viciously, "they think a few hundred will crush our army. Let's show them our strength. Let's destroy every one of them!" The Other turned back to his control panel and brought down both his fists. A dull thud could be heard. "Release the whales," he ordered, "let's wipe out this planet once and for all!"

A Chitauri-warrior pressed a few buttons and only a moment later, a dozen whales came crushing through earth's atmosphere. The Other smiled contentedly, knowing that his troops on the surface were about to be supported by another half a million of his best warriors.

This battle would soon be over…

…Earth would be destroyed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: First of all, I am sorry, but this ended up being one **_**very**_** long chapter. I tried to split it in two, but then it somehow didn't feel right anymore. I decided to keep it this way and I hope you'll like it.**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 16**

Loki and Thor had separated from the Captain and Hawkeye since they had different goals to achieve. The brothers wanted to find The Other and kill him while the two Avengers only wanted to rejoin the battle on the surface. They knew the other Avengers were losing ground and they also knew they were stronger as a team. Loki would have found it unfortunate that he no longer had the company of the Captain and Hawkeye, but then he would be lying to himself.

He didn't even like those two men. Certainly not the short, obnoxious archer. That nasty little man had truly been working on his nerves so perhaps it was for the best that their ways had separated. Loki simply would not have been responsible for any of his actions that concerned Hawkeye.

The departure of one of the smaller spaceships could be heard in the distance. Loki could recognize the sound since he had been on board on one of those ships only hours ago. Then there were some shots fired, followed by a massive collection of growls and shouts. It was safe to say that the Chitauri hadn't been able to stop the Captain and Hawkeye from getting off their ship.

Loki and Thor kept on moving deeper into the ship, not looking back and never hesitating.

"The Other might not be so easy to find," Thor said, but with newfound courage and determination in his voice. He made a right turn and walked through a narrow, musty hallway. Loki found it utterly ridiculous that Thor wanted to lead since he had no idea where he was actually going. "But he'll be near the front of this ship. Presumably somewhere near the control rooms."

"That's some brilliant insight, Thor," Loki snapped. He still disliked the very idea of Thor coming with him on this mission, but there was not a scenario in a million dimensions where the thunderer would let him face this enemy alone. He grabbed his brother's arm and pushed him into a different direction. If Thor would have his way, they would end up in a storage room. Of course he will be in the main control room, you idiot, where else would he be? Relaxing in a hammock?"

Thor shot him a toothy grin. "This is great fun, is it not?" He actually seemed to be enjoying himself even though Loki didn't understand what was so amusing about this entire situation. "We are fighting side by side again, just like the old days."

"That's what you believe," Loki countered. He made sure to remind Thor that he hated him still. "It is also what makes you a naïve, stubborn and reckless man. I truly don't understand why Odin wants you on his throne."

Thor glanced over his shoulder and apparently saw something Loki wasn't aware of. "It's all right to be nervous, brother-"

"I am _not_ nervous," Loki quickly countered, "where do you even get that idea? I have faced The Other before and I am confident that I can beat him. Now let's just keep quiet before we alert any Chitauri of our presence. I'm really not in the mood for another round of primitive fighting, but I am sure you would marvel in it."

Thor smiled serenely. "I have always been more of a fighter while you were the strategist."

Loki didn't bother with a reply. He knew what Thor was trying to accomplish. Showering him with compliments wasn't going to loosen him, nor was it going to make him more amiable towards him.

"Thank you," Thor said suddenly when he understood Loki wasn't going to answer, "for helping Steve and Clint. That was admirable."

"Oh, do shut up!" Loki balled his hands into fists. Was there nothing he could do to push Thor away from him? To make him understand that nothing had changed between them? That there wasn't a chance in all the nine realms that their brotherhood could be restored? "I only helped them escape so that my own cause would be aided."

"Still, it was a kind act," Thor concluded.

Loki sighed. "Whatever makes you sleep better at night."

They reached a landing that gave them access to three different routes. Thor let his eyes fall on each different pathway and Loki walked by him, entering the middle passageway without saying another word. He knew they would reach another corridor which would then lead them to the main control room. It was a short walk and Loki forced himself to keep his breathing evenly.

He was _not_ nervous, he told himself, he just disliked the idea of fighting The Other. Even though he was confident that he could beat him this time, he still dreaded the necessary pain he would experience because there was no doubt that The Other would up a good fight.

~ o ~

Just before they reached the main control room, Loki and Thor ran into trouble. The Chitauri had finally caught up with them and their numbers had doubled. It was almost surprising since Loki had assumed The Other would have sent all of his forces down to the surface by now.

He didn't have much time to think about that. Thirty Chitauri-warriors came at them, all carrying a rifle and a vicious expression on their faces. They even growled as they charged forward. Loki, thinking quickly, understood that he and Thor could fight off this small formation, but that it would cost them precious time and energy.

With a quick spell and a flick of his wrist, he sent half of the Chitauri flying back. Some hit the hard walls of the ship, others landed on top of each other. Some were dead, others unconscious while the minority got back up again and rejoined the remaining charging Chitauri. There were maybe twenty more Chitauri left and Loki saw how Thor began to swing his hammer.

Mjolnir hit one Chitauri-warrior after another while Loki used a rifle himself. He was starting to appreciate the durability of this Chitauri-weapon. It was also surprisingly efficient once you knew where to hit the Chitauri. The face was the most advisable.

Then more Chitauri came running into the hall and Loki was faced with a choice. He turned to look at his brother, noticed that he wasn't really paying him any attention at this point. He decided that now was the time to sneak away from the fight. He fired his rifle again – clearing his path to a nearby door - and ran forward. He blasted the door into pieces and entered the main control room.

The Other spun around and looked Loki straight into his eyes. There were maybe another dozen Chitauri-warriors present in the room who instantly moved towards Loki, but The Other hissed at them. "This one is mine," he sneered, "and I will take great joy in killing you once and for all, Loki Odinson."

For a moment, Loki wanted to correct The Other and tell him he was Loki Laufeyson, but for some reason, he decided against it. It was almost painful to admit, but Odinson simply sounded stronger and more intimidating.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Loki had newfound courage. He didn't know why he felt so confident again. Perhaps it was because he knew his brother was just outside, fighting to survive and to defend him. Perhaps it was because was done thinking he had nothing to lose. At some point between Stark Tower and now, he had discovered a cause worth fighting for. He didn't want to disappoint his mother. He didn't even want to disappoint Thor, even if it was just to show him that he could beat The Other. To tell him 'I-told-you-so'.

The Other chuckled, a filthy sound coming from his throat. He lifted his arm and shot an orb of pure energy at Loki who used his rifle to defend himself. He knocked the orb aside and managed to direct it into the face of a by standing Chitauri-warrior. The others growled angrily, but Loki – nor The Other – had any attention for them. They were solely focused on each other.

Loki fired his rifle at The Other before making a somersault and darting aside for a counterattack he'd expected. It caused him to stand closer to his archenemy and Loki cut him across the face. That was the second scar he'd given him and he felt good about that. Loki grinned and continued to dart around. He made sure he didn't stay at one place for longer than three seconds. The Other wasn't to pin him down and that would be Loki's advantage.

He wished he could use his magic more often, but he knew he had to use it sparingly. Even if he managed to defeat The Other, he would still have to face a raging army of his followers. Then would be a good time to turn to his last resource.

Instead, Loki focused on his rifle, three hidden daggers and his ability to predict some of The Other's moves. He fired his rifle into The Other's back, knocked him on the head and even managed to bring him out of balance. This went better than expected!

The Other swirled around, clearly antagonized by Loki's constant attacks. He shot another orb of energy, but again Loki managed to evade it. This time, the energy hit one of the control panels and sent it smoking. The Other growled, beastly this time, but Loki kept on moving. Then his eye fell on a small device lying on a nearby panel and he was momentarily distracted.

He lingered too long and The Other seized the opportunity.

This time, the Chitauri-leader used a different spell. He managed to throw Loki against the hard interior of the ship where his head smacked against the wall. It made a dirty sound, like the cracking of bone. Loki fell down, his rifle dropping from his hand and sliding away from him. He saw a thousand stars dancing before his eyes.

He quickly regained full control over his body, however, and his vision returned to normal after a few seconds. But he stayed down and listened The Other coming his way.

"Is this it?" The Other taunted. "Is that all the fight you have in you?"

Loki remained still. He even blinked a few times while The Other continued to come closer. He was nearly close enough.

"It makes me wonder why we agreed to an alliance in the first place. You're no better than the pathetic mortals on the surface. You are not even worth being called an Asgardian. You are weak!"

Loki felt his heart beating ferociously inside his chest. His breathing quickened and he knew The Other's words were getting to him. He tried to stay focused, to understand that The Other was merely playing his emotions, but it was difficult. It was certainly difficult when he knew that damned monster was right.

The Other waved his hand and a Chitauri-warrior brought him the device that had distracted Loki in the first place. It was small, not even four inches long, and it was made out of the same material the rest of the ship was made of.

"Do you know what this is?" The Other smiled victoriously when Loki didn't respond. At this point, he seemed to confused for anything and that was the entire point. "It is a communicator."

Loki's eyed The Other steadily. He didn't need an explanation to know what was going on. He knew the full extent of the Chitauri's power and therefor he knew of its weapons, technology and numbers. Dread invaded him when he thought of the death and destruction The Other intended to sow.

"I care nothing for this realm," The Other hissed, "I only want to see it destroyed. I have millions of my people up there-" he glanced up and then took another step towards Loki, "-and those all want the same thing. As soon as this city falls, it is only a matter of time before the rest follows. All I have to do, is give them a signal through this and every single warrior will come running down." He wiggled his hand holding the communicator as he kneeled won besides the seemingly injured Loki.

The Other was close enough now and Loki swiftly pulled out a dagger and planted it deep inside The Other's chest. Blood already flowed across Loki's hand and arm and he quickly let go of the dagger. The Other looked nothing but shocked. He stumbled back, reaching for the hilt of the dagger planted deep inside his chest and trying to pull it out.

Loki couldn't take the chance of The Other surviving so he reached for a second dagger and threw it across the room. It hit The Other in the neck, cutting of his airways and arteries. It was a horrid sight and Loki could barely believe that he had done this. He was usually one that had clean kills.

A few seconds passed where nothing happened. Then The Other fell down – dead – and the Chitauri charged towards Loki. They were obviously enraged that their leader had just been murdered by him.

The trickster jumped up and realized he only had one dagger left. Now he was forced to use his magic. He lifted his hand, but then four dull thuds echoed through the room and Loki saw that Thor was finally done fighting the Chitauri outside. Loki quickly threw his last dagger at the closest Chitauri-warrior before reaching for his rifle. He used it to shoot another three warriors while Thor took care of the rest.

They had done it.

They had won!

Thor beamed, pleased that their mission was accomplished. Even Loki dared to smile. He had killed The Other after all and for the first time in months, he felt _free_. He walked towards Thor, not sure what he was planning to do once he reached him, but then halfway there he noticed the communicator lying near The Other's corpse. The Other's words echoed through his head.

His smile instantly vanished.

"What's wrong, brother?" Thor sounded concerned and closed the remaining distance between them. His eyes fell on the communicator as well, but he didn't understand.

"The Other might be dead, but the Chitauri are still out there," he breathed. He could still feel some effects of the smack he'd made with his head. He dared to use a bit of his magic to take care of that. "They won't stop, Thor, not until this planet is destroyed or they are."

"We can win this battle," Thor said, remaining hopeful.

Loki nodded. "Yes, we can, if we manage to destroy these ships _and_ the spaceships still floating just above the atmosphere." He picked up the communicator and examined it more closely. The technology was surprisingly advanced and Tony Stark would even have a field day with this. "There are millions up there, Thor, and they all want the same thing."

"Millions?" Thor had already lost some of his hope. "We can't fight millions! We have been fighting for hours already and we're still losing ground. If millions invade-"

"-then we're dead." Loki said harshly. He lifted his gaze away from the communicator and stared into Thor's distressed eyes. He wasn't sure, but perhaps this was the first time he witnessed his brother experiencing despair. "The Chitauri will swarm this planet and burn it down. Then it will turn to Asgard and do the same. It might not succeed entirely, but it will cause extreme damage to your home realm."

"_Our_ home realm," Thor said, swallowing heavily.

Footsteps sounded in the distance. More Chitauri-warriors were coming their way…

…and they would keep coming their way. Loki suddenly felt extremely tired. He was still hurting even though he had healed his head and he longed for sleep. The adrenaline raging through his veins was slowly starting to wear out.

"There must be something we can do," Thor said determinedly, "because I'm not going to stand by and watch the Chitauri destroy everything I hold dear. I will fight them until I have no more breath left in my body."

"That will happen soon enough," Loki said.

Thor looked almost shocked by his words.

"Unless…" Loki stared at the communicator again. An idea came to his mind and an actual plan soon followed. It was possibly his worst scheme so far, but it seemed to be the only solution. Loki hated it. He absolutely _hated_ it, but he realized there was no other way. Thinking of how the Chitauri would invade Asgard made him sick. He didn't want to see his mother hurt. He didn't want to see her murdered by these primitives. There was even a part of him that didn't want to see Odin killed by them.

Protecting Midgard was necessary as well. When he had first come here, he had wanted to subjugate humanity. He knew casualties would fall and he knew destruction would be necessary. However, it was in the cause of something greater. Something _better_. He would have given them peace afterwards. He would have ruled them as a good King.

The Chitauri only wanted this realm destroyed and Loki opposed that. There might be a day when he would need this realm for some reason. Maybe he could still rule it one day. Thor would be greatly disappointed if he could hear his thoughts right now.

"Loki, what is it?" Thor asked. He placed a hand on his brother's shoulder.

Earlier, Loki had shrugged it off, but now he did nothing. He simply gazed into Thor's eyes as he understood what had to be done. "I can destroy the Chitauri," he said, "I can destroy their ships and every lasting warrior down on the surface."

Thor's eyes lightened up when he heard this. "Tell me how!"

"Every ship out there, every warrior still alive is connected to each other and therefor also connected to this ship," Loki began to explain, walking towards the main control panel and staring at it. Then he turned back towards Thor and continued, "They have to because The Other could only gave orders from here on out. This connection, their shared link is their biggest strength, but also their greatest weakness."

Thor began to nod. "That's how Tony Stark killed all of the Chitauri last time. He severed their link to their main hub."

"Exactly," Loki said, "too bad he only managed to destroy a part of the Chitauri-army. Then we wouldn't be in this mess right now."

"But how can you destroy them this time?" Thor asked. "There is no bomb like Stark had."

Loki took in a deep breath and steadied himself. He could feel Thor's scrutinizing gaze on him. "I can send a strong enough pulse through that link. I can hack into the system and use magic to send through a _massive_ power surge. Their systems would overload and if I manage to maintain that power surge long enough, I can blow up every ship out there."

Thor frowned. He grew strangely suspicious of the plan. "Even with all your strength, Loki, you do not have the power to blow up _every_ ship and _every_ warrior."

"I will have enough strength," Loki smiled faintly, "like I said, I'll be connected to every ship out there and every warrior that still has breath in his lungs. I can feed of the Chitauri's life-force long enough to enhance my magic and actually pull this off."

There was a short moment of silence before Thor looked relieved. "This is a good plan then, brother," he said proudly, "now do it so we can get of the ship in time."

Loki's face became a mask that hid all of his emotions and thoughts. He refused to show Thor that he regretted this, that he felt scared. "I have to be connected to everything," he almost whispered, "I have to make sure I can feel every Chitauri-warrior up there and down below. I have to be absolutely certain that I've created a link to each ship out there so that I can destroy _everything_ at once."

Thor looked horrified. "You mean you have to be on this ship when it explodes?"

Loki nodded reluctantly.

"Then…" Thor tightened his grip on Mjolnir and straightened his back, "then I will be here with you."

A hollow laugh escaped Loki's dry throat. "Don't be ridiculous," he countered, making sure that little emotion became visible in his eyes. The situation was hard enough as it was and he certainly didn't want to comfort his brother first. "You don't have to sacrifice yourself. Besides earth needs you, as does Asgard. You are the heir of the throne after all. You can't be missed."

"Neither can you!" Thor took an angry step forward, but Loki lifted his hand as a command for Thor to halt. "Loki, this is madness."

"I've heard that before," Loki mused, "I didn't listen to you then."

"Please."

"I have no choice," Loki argued, "I either do this or I watch this world crumble. Next I'll be forced to watch Asgard being attacked and I don't want to take the risk of mother getting killed." He was painfully reminded of the vision The Other had showed him. He did _not_ want to see his mother forced to bow down. She shouldn't have to bow before anyone.

Thor shook his head. "Loki, you don't have to-"

Loki refused to listen to him. He focused on a rather complicated spell and then let it propel away from him. He watched Thor's horrid expression just before he was catapulted away from this ship. Loki made sure that he teleported his brother to just above the surface of the earth. He would hate it if his brother would fall to his death because of him.

He turned back to the control panel, knowing exactly what he had to do. He inhaled deeply and listened to the many footsteps still approaching him. He wasn't certain, but it sounded like a small army. Fifty Chitauri at least. So Loki began to work, connecting himself to the system and gathering enough force to create a massive energy surge.

He realized the moment was near. He could feel the systems overheating and he could feel the first ship exploding because of his magic.

He hated it. He hated that he had to do this for the sake of humanity. What had they over done for him? Or perhaps this was his retribution for what he had done to them. Perhaps this was his way of redeeming himself.

Still, he hated it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Since I left the last chapter with such an evil cliffhanger, I decided to update the newest chapter as quickly as possible. So here I am, bringing a gift! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. The end is coming so enjoy while it lasts :) Oh, and this is one big chapter. I mean really big...like ten-pages-long-big. I just don't want to split certain parts in half just to get more chapters. Again, this worked better as one part so I decided to keep it one part. Sorry for the loooong chapter.  
**

**Thanks for the reviews! I'm so glad you're all sticking with me on this one. It's amazing to read all of your thoughts, emotions and ideas! So thank you so much!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 17**

Thor watched, completely perplexed, how Loki used a spell and sent him flying backwards. For the shortest second, he thought he would hit the wall of the ship, but instead he found himself landing forcefully on the cold asphalt of a Midgardian road. He needed a moment to understand what had happened. But realization quickly dawned on him; he was back on the surface of the Earth, completely surrounded by fighting Midgardians, Asgardians and Chitauri.

"_No_," he breathed quietly. He pushed himself onto his elbows and stared at the ship floating above him with wide, disbelieving eyes. Loki was on there trying to destroy every enemy while he was back on the surface. This time, his voice was very loud and very strong. "No!"

"Thor?"

The thunderer couldn't help but look aside. Sif came running towards him. In one hand, she held a long knife and in the other a spear. Her face lightening up when she saw that her friend was alive and well, but Thor barely registered her. He didn't even register that he was currently surrounded by fighting Æsir. He didn't question their sudden presence. He only had eyes for the ship above him. He stood up and began to swing Mjolnir. Maybe he could fly up there in time and to save his brother!

"You're back," this time it was the Captain's voice which distracted him, "did you manage to kill The Other?"

Thor swallowed heavily, but kept his hammer swinging. He glanced aside briefly, but quickly refocused on the spaceship above him. "I must get up there again."

"What happened?" Hawkeye demanded to know. "Where is Loki? Did he betray you again?"

Thor was about to throw his hammer into the right direction when a loud bang could be heard. It was absolutely deafening. A massive explosion followed just above their heads and everyone shielded their heads with their arms. They cast down their eyes when the fire intensified and became extremely bright.

Thor refused to look away even though it felt he was staring into the center of a sun. He could only watch in horror how every ship exploded. It was too late. He couldn't save his brother anymore. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. No tears come to his eyes, nor did his knees suddenly give out. He just stood there, _staring_ while he felt completely…numb. He didn't even know what he was thinking. He doubted he was thinking at all.

He merely looked up, his breath trapped within his chest, his lips slightly parted and his arms hanging weakly beside his body. He had no strength left to hold Mjolnir. It fell to the ground with a dull thud. The asphalt cracked under the intense weight.

"Did we just win?" Hawkeye asked uncertain. He dared to gaze up at the exploding ships. The fire dulled a bit, but the heat was still intense. The Chitauri around them began to fall, one by one, until only humans and Asgardians remained standing. Hawkeye cheered, "Ha! We've _won_!"

More cheers followed everywhere while people laughed and cried with joy. Some fell in each other's arms, other gave each other firm handshakes. Thor wished they would all just _stop_. He turned away from them and began to walk. He didn't know where he was heading to and he faintly realized he hadn't picked up his hammer yet.

A hand grabbed his arm and pulled at it. It was a gently, yet very demanded act. Thor spun around and found himself looking at the Captain.

"Where are you going?" Steve asked, frowning. He sounded slightly out of breath. "We have to get off the streets, Thor, because those ships are crashing down and we-"

"Loki was up there," Thor heard himself say. His own voice sounded distant and almost cold. He felt detached not only from the world, but from himself. "He made everything explode. He ended the battle, saved our lives, but he was still up there."

The previous joy and relief from winning the fight vanished from Steve's eyes when he understood what Thor was telling him. The first pieces of debris began to fall down and Steve looked around with concern in his eyes. The people began to abandoning the streets, trying to find shelter in a strong building or underground in the subway.

"If that's true, then he did something heroic," Steve said, "he saved us."

"What does it matter?" Thor all but hissed. He was beginning to feel something; anger and disbelief. "My brother is _dead_."

"You don't mean that," Steve said stubbornly. He still had a hand on Thor's arm. "I know you are relieved that this planet is safe. I am sorry to hear about Loki, but-"

Thor forcefully pulled his arm loose and turned his back to his friend. He angrily walked away, but Steve only caught up with him. He was adamant about getting Thor to a safe place.

"Please come with me, Thor, we need to find shelter!" Steve tugged at his friend's arm and found that he was willing to follow him. So Steve pulled them both into an underground station. More and more pieces of the destroyed ships began to fall down, causing enormous noise and destruction.

Thor cared nothing for it. His anger was suddenly consumed by an enormous guilt. He began to blame himself for not saving his brother. After a few seconds, that guilt was all he felt.

~ o ~

It was getting late.

An entire day had passed since the battle with the Chitauri and everyone was using the time off to catch up on sleep at Stark Tower which had luckily survived the battle. As soon as they had arrived, Thor had taken a seat in the sofa on the top level of the building and he hadn't moved since. That was a few hours ago. His muscles began to hurt from the constant, tight sitting position, but he didn't bother to move.

Now and again he closed his eyes and he could feel himself drifting off into a deep sleep. He knew it would be dreamless since he was so exhausted. However, he forced himself to open his eyes and _keep_ them open. He didn't want to sleep. He wanted to sit there and think of his brother. He felt absolutely miserable, but he supposed that was only fair. He _should_feel miserable because he'd failed Loki. He wanted to curse and blame himself for everything that had happened, but in the end it was pointless.

It wouldn't bring Loki back.

The first person to wake from his nap was Tony Stark. Clearly, he was in need of more sleep since he looked like he'd been hit by a train. Perhaps even twice. Tony had dark circles under his eyes and a large bruise just below his jaw. He didn't notice Thor sitting on his couch at first, but then he poured himself a glass of expensive looking whiskey and literally jumped in the air when he did notice the thunderer sitting motionless on his couch.

"Holy mother of-" Tony stopped himself right there and put down the bottle of alcohol. "You scared the hell out of me!"

Thor slowly turned his head and stared at Tony without replying. Tony narrowed his eyes for a moment, examining Thor more closely. He took a new glass from his shelf and poured another double whiskey. He walked towards Thor and handed the drink to him.

"I heard what happened," he said softer this time, more collected, "what Loki did was…admirable."

Thor rolled his eyes and emptied the glass in one go. He pulled a funny face and pressed the glass back into his friend's hands. He had learned a while ago that actually smashing glasses and cups wasn't appreciated by most of humanity. "That's an awful drink."

"This is my best whiskey," Tony said, faking outrage, "don't insult my best whiskey!"

There came no reaction. Thor merely turned to look ahead again and sighed.

"You're right," Tony dropped down on the couch, making sure there was a safe distance between him and Thor, "now isn't the time for jokes or laughter, but you'll have to excuse me because I haven't the faintest idea how to handle a situation like this."

Thor smiled faintly. "Then you should be grateful."

"Yeah," Tony replied solemnly, "I never lost a brother, so I can't begin to imagine what it is you're going through right now, but I feel like I should say something so I'll say this; I am sorry, Thor, I wish I could have done something. I wish I could do something _now_ to make you feel better."

Thor was actually thankful that Tony reacted like this. Loki wasn't the most beloved person on this earth - of this Thor was much too aware - so his deed could easily be overlooked. But here the Iron Man sat, looking actually apologetic and compassionate.

Thor inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. Too many thoughts swirled through his head at the moment so he knew he wouldn't fall asleep.

"I am very tired," he admitted.

"You haven't slept yet?" Tony sounded worried at that point. "The battle was _yesterday_. I have enough bedrooms in this building. Why don't I find you one that's available so you can get some proper rest?"

Thor glanced at Tony and shook his head. "It is strange, but I do not want to sleep."

"You're exhausted, Thor." Tony waited for a reaction, but Thor only stayed silent while he stared at his folded hands in his lap. "This – what you're doing – is torturing yourself. I get it, you want to feel the pain, you want to make sure that you're devastated by your brother's death because maybe you are alone in doing so and-"

"_Stark_." Thor sounded absolutely dangerous at that moment. Even his gaze darkened. "If you are wise, you stay silent now."

"Or what?" Tony turned his entire body towards Thor and folded his left leg underneath him. "You suppose I just have to watch you torture yourself? Well, I'm not. You're mourning, you feel hurt. Unfortunately, I _do_ know how that feels. But in your case, you're also scared that you're the only person in this entire universe that actually mourns your brother and that makes you feel very alone."

Thor growled and moved to stand up, but Tony quickly pulled him back down. It was a dangerous move to make, but it was remarkable how easy Thor sat back down. It only showed how tired and empty the God of Thunder truly felt.

"We _all_ admire what Loki did," Tony continued evenly, "he was a pain in the ass and we rather saw him leave than arrive, but he saved us. We're thankful for that. And no, the earth isn't going to mourn him, that's the hard truth, but you are mourning him. Your parents will mourn him and his friends will mourn him."

"How is this supposed to make me feel better?" Thor snapped.

"It isn't," Tony said calmly, "I just wanted to remind you that you are _not_ alone. We are here as well and we can be the friends you need right now."

Thor sighed. He was too tired to argue with Tony. "I appreciate this, Stark, but it all sounds rather senseless."

"Maybe," Tony took a sip from his own glass of whiskey, "but there might come a time when you do want to talk or something – Steve is marvelous at that so I suggest you go to him – and then you'll know we're here for you. We won't turn you away."

Thor stared at his friend for a second and then nodded. "Thank you," he said quietly, "but like you said, I am exhausted and I wish to sleep now. I'll find a room myself." He stood and walked out of the room, craving silence and solitude. He knew sleep wouldn't be for today.

~ o ~

The next morning was difficult for Thor. He knew his father had sent a small army to help defend earth and he was grateful for that. Most of the Æsir had already returned to Asgard since the city of New York had no place to stay to offer to them. Half the city lay in ruins and it would be a long and difficult undertaking to restore everything. It was a painful repeat of the last time the Chitauri invaded.

Not every Æsir had left. The Lady Sif and the Warriors Three had stayed behind on Midgard. Thor didn't know why, but he wanted to avoid them. Perhaps he didn't want to see the indifference in their eyes. He knew for a fact they cared little to nothing for his brother.

So Thor stayed in his room most of the morning.

After both Tony and Clint had come knocking on his door - asking if he would please join them for lunch - Thor decided that when Steve came, he had no choice but to open his door. They wouldn't leave him alone and Thor didn't want them to worry about him. They had enough concerns as it was, with their city in ruins and everything.

Thor joined them for lunch. It was quiet the entire time and he liked it that way. It gave him time to think and to eat in peace. Afterwards, he walked onto the platform on the top floor of Stark's tower and looked at the view. He couldn't help imagine that his brother had stood there just two days ago.

"Here you are." It was Sif's kind voice that sounded behind him. "I've been looking all over for you."

Thor felt guilty for avoiding her. He found it difficult to look into her eyes, however, so he kept his gaze on the horizon. Sif came to stand beside him, her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail while she still wore her battle outfit. She looked fierce and strong as ever. Thor knew it was rude not to look at her so he shifted his gaze and found her brown eyes sympathetic.

At that moment, he realized he had also missed her. Sif was one of his closest and oldest friends. If he could not confide in her, then he could confide in no one.

"I'm afraid to go home," he admitted.

She frowned.

"Mother adored Loki," he explained with a heavy sigh, "how am I supposed to go home and tell her that her son is dead? How am I supposed to do that?"

Sif took his hand into her own and squeezed it in a comforting way. "Thor…" She was clearly lost for words.

"I didn't protect him, Sif. As his brother, it was my job to protect him no matter what. I failed and now he is dead!"

"You miss him which is understandable-"

"That's not the point." Thor angrily pulled his hand free. Sif looked momentarily shocked, but she quickly regained her normal collected composure. Thor instantly felt guilty for scaring her like that, but then he remembered she didn't feel sorry about Loki's dead. Or did she? Was she hiding it from him? If he looked closely, he swore he could see the smallest hint of grief in her eyes. "The point is this," Thor continued, his voice still hard, "I must go home to tell mother this awful news and break her heart."

Sif shook her head. She obviously hated that Thor was so distressed and hurt. "You should be glad-" She quickly closed her mouth.

Thor stumbled back. "I should be _glad_? For what?"

"Forget I said anything," Sif asked softly.

"No!" Thor crossed his arms before his chest, his unwavering from Sif's. He was beginning to think he had imagined her grief earlier. "I should be glad about what, Sif? That Loki died? That he died in an exploding spaceship? As opposed to what?"

"As opposed to die a villain." The words sounded bitter. She appeared ashamed that she had said them and she quickly cast her eyes down. She bit down on her lip.

Thor was too horrified to respond. He didn't know why she would even think this.

"I am sorry," she breathed, "please forget I said anything."

"No, you said it and you cannot take it back," Thor countered, still angry and horrified, "How can you even _think_ this?"

Sif was never the person to let her thoughts go unsaid, not when they were met with so much defiance. "He tried to kill you only months ago," she said harshly, "he locked you in a glass cell that was made for that green monster and dropped you from a flying ship. Things could have ended differently then. _You _could have died!"

"He was lost back then," Thor argued, "when we were on The Other's ship, I felt we were brothers again."

Sif inhaled deeply. Her defensive composure changed once again and her entire face softened. "That must have been nice."

Thor turned to look at the horizon again. He hadn't intended on arguing with Sif. Not now, not today. "In some ways you've known Loki better than all of us."

A deep frown covered Sif's brow.

"It is true," Thor clarified with his voice more gentle, "you two couldn't stand each other because you could read each other so easily. While I was being a naïve, egotistical and reckless brother, you noticed how Loki grew jealous of me. You noticed how that jealousy grew within him until it became a consuming darkness he couldn't escape anymore. _You noticed_ while I was too busy with myself."

"That doesn't mean you're to blame."

"It doesn't?" Thor raised his eyebrows and he watched his friend shake her head. "Maybe if I had noticed or listened to you, I would have done something different. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered, but maybe it would have."

"There is nothing you can do now," Sif said, "everything that has happened…it is all because of choices that were made. Both yours and Loki's."

"Remember when we were children and father sent us to Heimdall?" Thor could remember that day so clearly and he could see that Sif remembered it as well. "He was to educate us about the wonders and mysteries of the universe. I barely listened to him. I remember I just wanted to get it over with so that we could all go and train with our wooden swords."

"I remember," Sif smiled weakly.

"But Loki was always so thirsty for knowledge," Thor continued, smiling faintly as well, "but I remember Heimdall telling us that the universe is infinite and that there are a million different realities. A _million_ million! In some of those, Loki is still alive right now because I made a different choice. Instead, I am going home tomorrow to tell my parents that I failed my one utmost important task. I failed to save their son."

Sif swallowed heavily and Thor walked away.

"Thor…" she called after him, "Thor!"

But Thor only continued to walk away from her. He craved solitude again. He craved time to prepare himself for his imminent return home. He dreaded that moment, but he had no other choice.

~ o ~

As usual, Heimdall greeted Thor and his four friends when they arrived on Asgard. The gatekeeper lifted his heavy sword from the machine while keeping his penetrating gaze fixed on the prince. "Welcome back, Thor Odinson," he said in his usual deep and formal voice, "I have watched your battle with the Chitauri. It is a formidable victory."

The Lady Sif and the Warriors Three left the round room, but Thor had a question for the guardian Odin trusted most.

"You have seen then," he said, "you have seen what my brother has done?"

"Indeed I have."

"Do my parents know?"

Heimdall's gaze remained stern. He had a simple answer, "Yes."

Thor spun around and strode away. Mjolnir lay heavy in the palm of his hand. He was starting to doubt if he was worthy of this mighty weapon. He was supposed to be the almighty Thor of Asgard. All around the nine realms, his name was known and they all spoke of his bravery and valor. Thor no longer believed he was worthy of that. He was supposed to be King one day, the leader and protector of this realm. How was he supposed to succeed if he could not even protect his own brother?

He entered the palace and slowly made his way towards the throne room. He knew he would find his mother and father there. He wondered how he should address them. As his parents? As his King and Queen? It wasn't always easy to be a prince, certainly not in a situation like this.

When he arrived at the throne room, he took a moment to steady himself. There stood two guards before a large, golden door. When Thor gave them a curt nod, the guard on the right pushed open the door and stepped aside. There was no way Thor could turn back now, so he inhaled deeply and walked inside.

As usual, Odin was sitting on his throne while Frigga stood at his side. Sif and the Warriors Three were present as well and Thor found another dozen Asgardian elders standing before the King. They all stared at him as he entered and Thor found their gazes heavy. When he arrived before the steps leading to the throne, he knelt down on one knee and placed a fist on his chest. He respectfully bowed his head.

"Stand, my son," Odin said.

Thor obeyed. It was difficult to look at his father. His one blue eye stood surprisingly dull and he looked very tired. Thor began to worry that his father might fall into the odinsleep soon. Then he let his gaze fell upon the frail figure of his mother. He found he had a lump in his throat. It was as if he had forgotten how to speak.

"We are glad you have returned safely," Odin said after a short silence, "the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three have already explained to me how the battle has been won."

"Then you know of Loki's fate?" Thor asked. He watched how Frigga placed a comforting hand on Odin's shoulder. "I am sorry, father, I could not save him. I am sorry, mother, that you must go through this. I know Loki was loved by both of you."

"He was," Frigga replied softly. Grief lay thick in her voice. "He shall be missed. He shall be remembered and-" A small chocking sound came from her throat. She quickly looked away and covered her mouth with her free hand. Tears streamed down. "Forgive me," she whispered.

"No, forgive _me_," Thor countered. He felt his heart break when he saw his mother like this. "I was unable to protect your son, I was unable to save him."

Frigga came down the steps and embraced him. "Don't do this to yourself, Thor," she told him quietly, "you did everything you could. Loki made his own choices and this was one of them. You were unable to save him because he chose to save _you_. We should feel pride."

Thor nodded and buried his face in his mother's hair. "I am proud, but that does not take away the hurt and grief."

Frigga let go of her son and smiled weakly. "Of course it doesn't," she replied. She dried her wet cheeks, but it was a pointless act since she was still crying. "That only goes to show how much we loved him. He had his schemes and his mischievousness, but I refuse to believe he had a black heart. He loved us even though he was afraid to show it."

"You are wise, mother," Thor replied. He looked into her eyes and he could see something…almost tangible in them. He felt that if he looked long enough in her kind brown eyes, he would _feel_ her love for Loki. It was comforting to know that he was not alone in his pain. It turned out Tony Stark had been right after all.

"You need rest, Thor," Odin's voice echoed faintly through the room, "you've been through a difficult time."

Thor nodded. He actually longed for sleep. It would ease away his pain for the next few hours. It would make reality disappear and he was looking forward to that. A dreamless sleep was all he needed right now. Then reality would crash in again and he would be forced to experience all the pain again. It was only logical.

It's what he deserved for not saving his brother.

_~ o ~_

_Three weeks later_

_~ o ~_

Since the attack of the Chitauri, everything had been peaceful. Thor had asked Heimdall to keep an eye on Midgard, but the realm was slowly settling back into a peaceful time. The Avengers had been bugged by a few minor attacks, but it was nothing they couldn't handle. The city of New York was being cleaned and rebuild.

Thor missed his mortal friends, but he could not go to them. Not now.

Every morning, he went to his father and they discussed urgent matters of Asgard. Odin had grown old and tired and the time for a long odinsleep was indeed coming near. Thor had to be prepared to take control of the throne even though this was not what he wanted at the moment. Mostly, he craved solitude, but as prince of Asgard he could not lock himself away in his chamber all the time.

In the afternoon, he would join his mother in her garden. They strolled around for a while, talked about everything and nothing and recalled fond memories of Loki. They were mostly about his mischief when he'd been a young boy. These afternoons passed all too quickly and Thor could tell his mother enjoyed the greatly. Thus he could not leave her for his mortal friends.

He was on his way to his chamber one late afternoon when he heard Sif call out his name. He spun around and watched his friend approach. She was wearing her battle outfit and held a long, thin sword in her right hand. Thor could see the edges of the blade were dull.

"Why don't you join me and the Warriors Three for training?" she asked. Her gaze stood hopeful and she smiled. Sif had always been a pretty girl and she had turned into a very beautiful woman. Thor used to be unable to deny her anything when she used her most disarming smile, but now he found himself unaffected by it.

"I'll have to decline," he answered politely, "I'm sure you will enjoy yourself without me."

Sif's smile melted away. The hope in her eyes became concern. "We haven't seen you on the training grounds in so long," she said, "we worry about you, Thor."

Thor leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Sif's forehead. "Don't," he said warmly, "I am fine."

He walked away from his friend, knowing full well that she would only worry _more_ about him. He walked back to his chambers and sat down at the long table that stood near the window. The surface of said table used to be empty all the time, but now it lay covered with books and papers. Thor had ordered two servants to bring him Loki's favorite books. He had never showed any interest in his brother's literature, but now he felt compelled to read as much as possible.

He knew it was too late now, but perhaps he could learn more about his brother this way. What had interested him so in these books? What thoughts had they unlocked? Thor would not admit it to anyone - except to his mother – but he greatly enjoyed reading everything that lay on the table. There were stories of adventure and of love. There were scientific books as well as books on magic. Those he did not really understand and he began to admire Loki's intellect.

So he read for a few hours and then went to bed. He'd skipped dinner, but he was sure his absence would go unnoticed. These last few weeks, he had mostly eaten in his chambers. Frigga sometimes joined him, but whenever Sif or the warriors Three came knocking on his door, he politely asked them to leave him be.

When Thor looked up one moment, he was surprised to find the sky outside completely dark. Only the moon gave some light. He hadn't realized he had been reading for so long. He decided it was time to crawl underneath the covers of his bed. He wished for a dream he wouldn't remember in the morning and he thought about Sif and how worried she had appeared. Then he fell asleep without even realizing it.

His dream was restless as he found himself back on earth, fighting thousands of Chitauri while his brother lay dead at his feet.

Thor awoke while breathing heavily. A soft breeze played across his skin and he frowned. He didn't remember leaving his window open when he'd gone to bed. He turned his head and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw a figure standing at the window. He instantly sat up and reached for Mjolnir.

The figure turned towards him and Thor could now see his face ever so clearly in the bleak moonlight.

"Loki?"


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews! It was incredibly fun to read your thoughts and reactions. I think I have a gift for writing evil cliffhangers. They just are too much fun to write! But I apologize for them and I bring a new chapter. Enjoy!**

**Important AN at the bottom!**

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Chapter 18**

"Loki?"

Thor blinked. He was certain he was dreaming, but when he pinched his own arm, he still found himself sitting straight in his bed and not suddenly awakening. But if he wasn't dreaming, then he was surely hallucinating! It mattered not because the moment would come when the figure standing at his window would disappear. So he knew he had to seize this moment. In the past few weeks, he had never been able to picture Loki so perfectly.

"Hello, Thor," Loki said quietly.

Loki looked surprisingly well. His skin had a healthy color (even though Thor could only see it in the pale moonlight), his eyes stood luminous and he wore a kind smile. Was this how he wanted to remember his brother? Was this the Loki forged out of his memories? Thor buried his face in his hands and inhaled deeply. This could not be healthy for his mind.

"Thor?" Loki asked with a hint of concern in his voice. "Oh, I see. You think you are dreaming or that you are imagining me. Let me assure you that I am real, Thor, I am here with you."

When Thor looked up, he expected to be alone in his room, but his brother remained. In fact, Loki's expression had changed. His smile had vanished to make place for a slight frown on his face. Also, he looked…irritated. That took Thor by surprise. Surely this wasn't how he would picture his brother? He would want him to smile like before.

"No," Thor said slowly. For a moment, he wondered why he even bothered speaking with the figment of his imagination. "You're dead. You were on an exploding spaceship as you saved earth and humanity. You _died_ because I couldn't save you. So I assume that you are a figment of my imagination. I can't live without you so I am now _imaging_ you."

It almost sounded pathetic. Thor hadn't known he had such a weak mind.

At that moment, Loki walked forward, his steps confident. Thor didn't understand what was happening until Loki made his hand into a fist and hit him hard on the shoulder. There would surely be a small bruise in the morning.

"_Aw_!" He rubbed the sore spot.

Loki smirked. "Was that a figment of your imagination?"

Thor said nothing, but looked like a hurt child. Loki's smirk only grew.

Pushing the covers away from his body, he got up from his bed. For a few seconds, he stared at his younger brother with his lips slightly parted. The silence made the situation awkward, but he just didn't know what to say. He should say something – _anything_ – but his mind came up empty. Instead, he wrapped both his arms around his brother's thin and held him closely.

He purposely ignored Loki's struggling.

"Oh no, Thor," Loki protested, "let go of me! Get your big arms off! I demand you let me go. _Now_!"

Thor only obeyed after a long fifteen seconds. Loki, now sporting a scowl on his face, straightened the folds from his shirt. Thor watched in with awe, a large smile on his own face. He knew that smile would not disappear for a long time.

"I thought you were dead," he said. A new thought came to him, a darker one. This time, he said the words through gritted teeth, "I thought you were dead! How could you let us all think you were _dead_?"

He crossed both arms before his chest and pressed his lips together in a thin, white line. His expression demanded an explanation from Loki, but he somehow doubted Loki would grant him this pleasure. The trickster had never been one to reveal such truths.

Thor watched how his little brother inhaled deeply and lowered his gaze. _This_ was new.

"I am sorry, Thor," he apologized, "for any grief I have caused."

Thor narrowed his eyes. He knew Loki well, but he could never tell whether or not there lay sincerity in his voice. It wasn't like him to apologize for something like this. Now that Thor thought of it, Loki had already pulled this trick once! He had fallen into an abyss many months ago and pretended to be dead back then! Their family had mourned as well, but Loki hadn't apologized for that.

But there he stood before Thor, his eyes averted and his voice soft.

Thor decided he did not like what he saw. This was supposed to be a cheerful occasion! It wasn't every day you discovered your brother lived, although it was starting to feel normal to Thor. "We must go to the Allfather and tell him this news," the thundered said happily, "and we must tell mother! She has been ever so sad and-"

"No!" Loki's eyes widened and his voice sounded strain.

It confused Thor.

"None can know of this," Loki said, gazing into his brother's blue eyes. His own green eyes had lost some of their luminosity. They stood more sincere, more dangerous. "Promise me you will tell no one of this news."

"What?" Thor breathed. "Why?"

Loki hesitated, staring at his fiddling hands for a short moment. When he looked up again, Thor swore he could see conflict lay in Loki's eyes.

"I've been running for so long, Thor," Loki confessed, "it makes me tired. It makes me _exhausted_. You cannot know what it feels like and for the first time, I don't blame you for that."

"Who have you been running from? The Chitauri? They are dead, brother."

Thor tried to recall a moment where Loki had been this honest with him, but he couldn't remember a anything. For the last few years, he had known a shade of his brother, an illusion cast by Loki himself. That realization pained Thor. He vowed to himself that he would seize this second (third actually) chance he had with Loki to get to know him again. He had already read most of his books so that was a beginning.

"Yes, from the Chitauri," Loki answered, "and from Thanos, but most of all, from Asgard."

Thor had no answer to that, only more questions. Dozens of questions! What did Loki mean by that statement? Did he mean Thor? Or Odin? Surely he could not be talking about their mother! Or every other Asgardian in this realm? Thor forced himself to stop overthinking it and decided to wait for Loki to explain it further.

"I felt I had so much to prove," Loki sighed and turned back to the opened window. It was understandable that Loki disliked looking at Thor right now. After all, he was revealing a part of his soul, something he hadn't done in so long. Certainly not to him. "I was the lesser son, the intruder. I wanted to show everyone that I was worthy, that I was good enough to be a prince of Asgard. Most of all, I wanted to prove it to you and Odin."

"You never had to prove-"

Loki spun around, his green eyes wide and cautious. "Yes, I did!" He sounded angry and Thor quickly closed his mouth. "You have no idea what is like to live in the shade of someone better than you, someone greater. Every day, I tried to prove myself, but nothing worked. I still felt…worthless."

"I am sorry," Thor said sadly.

"All my attempts failed," Loki continued as if Thor had said nothing, "there is so much you do not know about me."

"Then tell me now," Thor wanted to take a step towards Loki, but he instantly noticed his brother growing tense. "Please, tell me now, Loki. I am listening and I want to know. You are my brother, but I feel I barely recognize you anymore."

Loki sighed. "There's simply too much. I do not know where to start."

"At the beginning."

Loki scoffed. "Even that is greatly complicated."

"Try me," Thor urged.

"If you insist," Loki said.

Something changed within him at that point, but Thor couldn't quite put his finger on it. He felt like Loki was testing him, like his words would unlock a reaction and _that reaction_ would tell the trickster everything he wanted to know. Suddenly, it was Thor who grew cautionate.

"I murdered my true father for Odin while he was succumbed to the great sleep. I wanted to show him I was _his_ son and not Laufey's. I tried to destroy Jotunheim because you and father always said the frost giants were a monstrous race that were a threat to Asgard. I wanted to do you both a favor. It's safe to say none liked my actions."

Loki scrutinized every small emotion that flitted through Thor's gaze. There was mostly shock and horror. Clearly, the thunderer had not known of this before.

"Then I tried to subjugate earth," he continued in the same even voice, "because Odin once told us we were both born to be kings. Yet I had no kingdom so I decided to make one for myself. In the end, I would have brought peace to Midgard. I would have _helped_ them even though they didn't see it that way. No one saw it that way."

Thor swallowed heavily. He had known of all these events, but never of their motives. At times, he had just thought his brother mad and greedy for power. Hearing Loki reveal what drove him cast a whole new light on that past. It was almost troubling because he had been so oblivious to it all.

"And then the running began," Loki added almost as an after-thought, "I was locked in a cell, here below our feet. It was mortifying. The guards weren't particularly nice either. And then there is that moment I came to you in my greatest despair. That is the moment I truly began to _run_. The Chitauri were after me and I didn't even know what Odin would do about that."

"We would have never handed you to them," Thor assured Loki.

"But The Chitauri are all dead now," Loki sighed, "that's something I suppose. There is another, more powerful creature out there, however, and if he knew I was still alive, he would eventually come after me. That and I'm still an escaped war criminal in the eyes of every Æsir in this realm. They would demand I am imprisoned again for my heinous crimes against Midgard if they knew I was still alive."

Thor could not disagree with him there. He had heard some of the elders talk about this. They had all said that Loki's death had been unfortunate, but that if he had lived, he would still be their prisoner. He would still have to carry out the rest of his imprisonment.

"So now everyone thinks I am dead," Loki concluded, "and it is for the better. There is none chasing my tail so the running has finally stopped. I am free, both physically and mentally, and I would like to keep it that way for now."

Thor could understand the physical part, but he was confused about the mental part. His mind had never been bound.

"Mentally?"

"As I said before," Loki clarified, "I felt I had so much to prove to you and Odin. I have done that now. I saved not only Midgard, but Asgard as well. There are not many who can say that. I was prepared to sacrifice myself on that ship. It was just a twist of dumb luck that I managed to escape."

Another mystery to the God of Thunder. "How?"

"I was connected to every Chitauri out there. You can't begin to imagine the power I had. I blew up everything I had a connection with. However, my magic was inexhaustible at that moment and I could teleport away just before the fire of the explosion reached me. I had a few burn marks afterwards, but it was nothing a few spells couldn't heal."

Thor smiled. "I am glad you are alive, brother."

"As am I," Loki replied kindly.

"But…" Thor took a step forward and this time, Loki did not react hostile towards it. So he continued to ask another burning question. "Why are you here? You want everyone to think you are dead, but you reveal the truth to me. _Why_?"

"Because I couldn't stand your wallowing!" Loki laughed. It was a divine sound to Thor's ears. "If it escalated like that, you would have started to cry yourself to sleep at night. That would simply be too ridiculous."

Thor smiled, revealed a perfect row of white teeth. "You felt empathy towards me."

"Don't go exaggerating this," Loki countered, yet there still lay clear amusement in his eyes.

"I am glad you've told me, brother," Thor said more seriously. He contemplated on hugging Loki again, but the trickster was onto him and raised one warning finger. Thor inclined his head, respecting his brother's wish. He decided he didn't want to scare away his brother. "I wish I could tell the realm about this, I was I could shout it from the rooftops on Midgard."

"I strongly recommend against it."

"This is my promise to you then," Thor said, "I will not tell a soul. I will respect your wish."

"Thank you," Loki smiled, and then added, "brother."

Now Loki was asking for it and Thor decided he could not be held responsible for any his actions. He moved closer to Loki and embraced him for a second time. Again, Loki protested, yet his threats sounded insincere. So Thor tightened his embrace – nearly crushing Loki's ribs - just before he let go of him.

"You'll see me around soon enough," Loki told him, "after all, I can't stay dead forever."

"Visit me at least," Thor asked, "let me know you are all right."

"I will."

Loki smiled one last time and then disappeared again.

It mattered not to Thor that he had gone so quickly. He knew his brother was alive and he felt his heart beat with joy. His hands even trembled slightly due to his excitement and he could not wipe the smile from his face. It would prove difficult to hide this truth from his family, but Thor knew he would succeed.

After all, he had promised…

…and he never broke his promises.

Especially not to his brother.

**AN: I hesitated for so long about this chapter... But I really like it this way (even if it seems an abrupt ending). I feel it leaves certain things open and others neatly wrapped up. So yeah, I decided not to write a complete reveal that Loki is alive. Thor knowing felt enough for me and you that somewhere down the line, he'll show up again (probably yelling 'surprise' and giving his parents a heart attack). **

**So let me know what you think!**

**Thank you so much for sticking with this story all the way to the end. Thank you for the reviews, the alerts or making this a favorite. Simply put: thank you for all your support!**

**Cass **


	19. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!**

**AN: Some of you asked for an epilogue and I thought about it. I would only write one if I had a nice idea and I would only post it if I was absolutely happy with it. Since you received a notification of an update, I guess you know how it turned out.**

**Please enjoy this epilogue and know that this story is now truly and irrevocably done. **

**~ Shadows and Regrets ~**

**Epilogue**

"Happy birthday, mother," Thor said with a broad smile plastered on his face. He handed her a small, wrapped gift.

"You shouldn't have, Thor," Frigga smiled while she gratefully accepted the gift. She handled it like it was ever so precious. Carefully, she tore away the flower-patterned wrapping paper. It revealed a thin book that had a red, old-looking cover. The sheets inside were blank except for a tiny flower-design at the bottom.

"You can write your thoughts and ideas inside," Thor explained, "many mortals on Midgard do this. This can be your book, your diary as they call it. None may look inside so you can write what you want, whenever you want."

Frigga's eyes began to shine with joy. "This is a wonderful gift, Thor, thank you so much."

"Thank Jane," Thor chuckled, "it was her idea."

He wished Jane could be here with him, but unfortunately she had research to do for SHIELD so she was unable to attend this small feast. But Jane had come to Asgard many times these past few months and Thor felt grateful that his family and friends accepter her so well.

A servant came to fill Thor's cup with ale, disrupting his train of thoughts. When he focused on his mother again, he found her showing to gift to Odin. She was obviously thrilled and even Odin smiled profoundly. It had been a while since he'd seen his parents this relaxed and…almost happy. Loki's death weighed heavily on them and the pain always remained extremely visible in their eyes.

At least, it was when they thought none could see them.

Thor had wanted to tell them the truth for a million times already, but he had promised Loki to keep him secret. This proved to be the hardest thing Thor had ever done in his life.

But tonight everyone was feasting in honor of the Queen's birthday. Thor was relieved that only their closest friends and family were present. Frigga had requested it so. A more formal and grander feast would be held in a few days' time and Thor was excited that Jane would attend then.

"This is a nice evening." Sif sat down beside Thor. For once she wore a not her battle outfit, but a beautiful golden dress. Her long, black hair lay loosely around her shoulders. "It is good to see the Queen smiling again," she added.

Thor nodded. He too enjoyed the smile on his mother's face, but he also knew she felt guilty for enjoying herself. Loki had been gone for eleven months now, but still Frigga missed him like she missed him from that first day. Her pain never dulled. At times, she still cried for him and Thor could not blame her. Missing Loki like this was difficult.

"Are you alright, Thor?" Sif asked.

Thor hadn't realized he'd been deep in thought again. "Yes, of course," he assured her, "I only worry for mother. And for father."

Sif frowned.

"He is King of this realm," Thor explained, "he must stay strong at all times, but I know he grieves for Loki like everyone else does. He just cannot show it. That must be a heavy burden."

"Yes," Sif agreed quietly, "but I am glad you are coping so well. For a while there, I was ever so worried about you. It was like you had lost your will to live, like you had no more enthusiasm in you."

"It was never my intentions to trouble you."

"Of course not," Sif said quickly, "but I am your friend and I shall always worry about you to some extent."

Thor smiled and reached for Sif's small hand. "Then I am lucky to be your friend."

The entire room fell quiet suddenly when Odin rose from his seat. Every pair of eyes fell upon the broad figure of the King, waiting respectfully to hear his words.

"This feast is held in honor of Frigga, daughter of Fjörgynn," Odin said in his deep voice that only held affection and love. It was almost strange to hear since Odin normally spoke in a formal, almost distant voice. "My wife, my queen and the mother of my children."

Frigga smiled weakly and Thor knew that only one person lay on her mind at that moment. Loki might not be her natural son, but she refused to let anyone else say differently. Thor watched how Odin took Frigga's hand into his own. It had been so long since he'd seen his parents show this much love for each other.

"We have been through difficult times," Odin continued, only looking at Frigga now, "the loss of a child is never easy and I do not wish it upon my worst enemy. But every day I witness how you love and care for others with all your heart. It reminds me of a thousand reasons why I love you. There is not a woman in this universe that I love more than you. I hope you are enjoying this feast, my love, and I wish you a happy, happy birthday."

Odin sat down again while everyone began to cheer and applaud. Thor could see the cheeks of his mother turning red as she blushed. He reached for her hands and planted a kiss on each of her cheeks.

"Thank you, Thor," she whispered.

A guard came forward then, stepping around the table until he stood before the royal couple. He placed a fist over his heart and bowed his head. He waited until Odin called him closer. Thor wasn't sure what was happening, but he was suddenly very cautious. Thoughts of an attack flitted through his mind. Then he thought of Jane and earth and prayed that they were all right.

"There is another guest, my King," the guard explained, his eyes never fully landing on Odin's face, "he says he was invited."

Odin glanced at Frigga for a moment and Thor knew exactly what thought they exchanged: everyone was already present. A short moment of silence followed, but Odin turned to look at the guard again and said, "Then let him in."

The guard instantly hurried away to open the large doors.

Thor's mind was still racing, but there was a small voice in the back of his head that was shouting for his attention. Thor ignored it. He didn't want to listen to it because then he would only be in for a very big disappointment.

There was a moment of dead silence and Thor could feel the tension in the air rise. None knew what was happening and they all strained their necks to get a better view. Then the guest appeared, walking into the room with nothing but confidence in his steps. Thor instantly stood, his eyes widening to almost comical proportions.

He should have listened to that small voice.

Before the open doors stood Loki, a broad smile on his face and his eyes shining with amusement. Thor swore he actually saw mischief in those green eyes again, just like he'd seen many, many years ago. He recognized them again and that felt incredibly good.

A shared gasp went through the small crowd and whispers erupted everywhere. Thor wasn't sure what he was hearing. Shock; certainly, as well as surprise and disbelief. A few were angry and some even shook their heads in disapproval, though none of it mattered when Thor's gaze landed on the faces of his parents.

Odin stood, his lips slightly parted as he wanted to say something, yet no sound managed to escape his throat. Frigga placed a pale hand on her chest as she tried to control her breathing. Her eyes held nothing but affection and tears.

_Lots_ of tears.

The queen lost all of her composure as she rose from her seat and walked towards her youngest son. With her one hand still over her chest, she reached out for Loki with her other hand. It trembled greatly as she carefully touched Loki's cheek. It was as if she expected the figure before her to disappear, to dissolve into a cloud of smoke.

"Hello, mother," Loki said softly. His smile weakened and his gaze softened.

"Oh my!" Frigga inhaled sharply, hesitated another moment and then hugged Loki tightly.

When Thor had done so a few months ago, Loki had protested and threatened all he held dear, but now…now the young God simply gave into the hug, placing his own arms around the thin waist of his mother.

"Happy birthday, mother," he whispered.

It was said so quietly that Thor barely heard it, but everyone else present in the room was silent and you could hear a needle drop outside in the hall. None even dared to breathe.

"I am sorry to crash your party like this," Loki added, "but I have missed you greatly and I could not stay away."

Frigga let go of him and Thor could clearly see her face now. She was crying while her entire body now shook because of the shock she had endured. "Loki, I barely understand this. I…I do not…" She could barely form a decent sentence. "I have missed you. You cannot imagine the horrors I have been through. Why…why did you do this?"

Loki placed a hand on Frigga's cheek, wiping away her many tears. "I am sorry, mother, I felt I had no other choice. I needed time to think. I am deeply sorry for all the pain that I have caused you."

Odin stood then and walked towards his wife and youngest son. His blue eyes were unreadable and Thor had no idea what his exact reaction was. For a moment, he feared his father would start to shout, but he quickly noticed a soft side to the King's composure.

When Odin stood before Loki – who still held onto Frigga – he did not look like a King, nor did he look like the Allfather. At that very moment, he only appeared as a father who had just found his son again. He carefully placed a hand on Loki's shoulder. "Loki," he breathed, "my boy."

A smile appeared on the Odin's face and Thor could swear he saw actual tears in his one eye. Thor could not remember one occasion where he had witnessed his father cry. It was a strange and peculiar sight and clearly none had expected it.

Certainly not Loki.

The trickster tensed for a moment when Odin continued to place both his arms around him. After three seconds, Loki began to return the embrace, although it remained a caution and calculated action to him. Thor knew that Loki expected very little love from their father and this was probably the first time in years that Odin showed this sort of affection towards him.

"Can you forgive me?" Loki asked, his gaze switching between his mother and father.

Frigga nodded fervently. Tears fell on her dress. "Of course we can," she said, her voice nearly breaking at the end, "I never thought I would see you again, my love, so we are incredibly relieved to look upon your face again."

Loki turned to gaze at Odin.

"What you have done," Odin said, his voice soft, "has caused your mother and I much grief and pain, but I understand why you have done it. I forgive you, Loki, but please don't do this again. Though I must admit it has been one of your greatest tricks so far."

Was that a hint of amusement in Odin's voice?

None knew.

Loki seemed unsure of what he could or should say next and Thor felt he had to do something about that awkwardness. He quickly hurried towards his reunited family and when he arrived, he pulled his brother into a hug. He kept it short, however, since he knew Loki disliked being _over-hugged_.

"I am glad you're back," he told his brother.

"This calls for celebration!" Frigga hastily wiped away the rest of her tears (although it was pointless since more tears streamed down). She turned towards the servants and ordered, "Bring us more wine! And food for my son! He looks too thin."

Frigga and Odin returned to their seats, but they made sure there was enough space besides them for Loki to sit. That way, he would sit I between Frigga and Thor. It wasn't his usual place to sit, but then again, this was an unusual situation.

This was probably the only chance the two brothers had at a private conversation. They simply knew Frigga would not leave Loki be for a long time. Even Odin would try and spend as much time as possible with him. So the brothers turned towards each other, their gazes connecting.

"I suggest," Thor whispered so none could hear them, "we do not tell our parents that I knew you were alive all along."

Loki grinned, an ever so familiar gesture. "I agree."

They walked towards the table then, side by side. For the rest of the evening, they laughed and told tales of what had happened to them these past few months. They drank ale and wine and told jokes and recalled old memories of adventure.

Frigga only listened and smiled.

She would not stop smiling for a long time to come.

~ o ~

The end.

~ o ~


End file.
